“Enough,” my motherinlaw said, pacing in the sitting room.
“Emily, how can you be so stubborn? All the girls our age are trying to get out of this town, head to London for their degrees, and you”
Polly, my wife, let out a soft chuckle at the matriarch’s scolding. She knew Emily was headstrong and impossible to argue with. And why bother?
“Victoria, at least tell her something!” the old lady pleaded, having given up on persuading the granddaughter herself.
“What could I say? That she ought to be dragged against her will to some unfamiliar, foreign city just because her grandma wants her to have a fancy piece of paper?” I replied. “That’s her life, not yours or mine. It’s not for us to decide where she studies or even whether she studies at all.”
“What do you mean whether at all? Polly, can I have a word?” she pressed.
Everyone has their own idea of what it means to make it in life. Some count children, some count cash, others care not for material things but think a life is only successful when one has offspring preferably more than one. Theres nothing wrong with those differing notions, as long as no one forces their worldview on another and expects them to bend their own.
If they do, thats when trouble truly begins.
Victoria O’Leary, my motherinlaw, was practically obsessed with higher education. She wanted a toptier, recognised university for everyone, not some sketchy diploma mill.
Thered never been any clash between Polly and me, because the future daughterinlaw, who lived in London with her father until she was twentyfive, earned her degree from Oxford on a scholarship. No complaints, no extra demands. When I first met Victoria, I noticed her fixation on the degree, but there was never a real reason to confront her, so I thought of it as a harmless quirk.
Some people sew plush toys, some never leave the garden, but a few love to chatter about the importance of university education.
Everything changed when Polly and Is children grew up. The eldest, Sophie, rolled her eyes at grandmas lectures typical teenage phase, no big deal. The real storm broke when Sophie, after finishing Year9, enrolled in the county medical college, completed a few short courses there, and straight away took a job in the beauty industry.
That was the first serious spat between Polly and Victoria.
“What do you mean she doesnt want an education? A qualification is a useful document, proof of skill and intellect,” Victoria snapped.
“Oh really? And what good did your own qualifications ever do you? Remind me, were you a shopassistant by training?” Polly shot back. “You cant even pick a decent pair of shoes for yourself, yet you keep calling me.”
“Paul, love, why is she shouting at me? What did I even say?” I asked, trying to keep the peace.
“Can a girl nowadays get by without a degree? I only want the best for my granddaughter, but shes being led down a path thatll ruin her future,” Victoria wept, realising force wouldnt work.
Our son, Peter, sided with his wife and daughter, giving his own version of the facts.
“Sophie barely passed the medical college. She failed two subjects three times, remember? Shell never get a university degree.”
“Why make someone suffer if they simply cant handle the load? She wont get a place at a good university on a grant, and we cant afford to send her to a private one our budget isnt endless.”
“Besides, next year well be sending Lena off to school and getting Boris ready for his exams. I cant keep splashing money on prestige that nobody needs.”
“If she wanted it herself, fine, but she didnt. She went home with a diploma, spent a week partying with friends, then started working in a salon, doing eyebrows and lip colour for older ladies who want to look pretty.”
“Shes actually making decent money, so youre wrong, Mum. Times have moved on; education doesnt have to be university level.”
Peters arguments seemed to convince Victoria that a university degree might be too heavy a burden for Sophie, and the topic faded until Lena, fresh out of secondary school, announced shed apply not only for a parttime course but also for a local college just a stones throw from home, rather than the faroff Oxford shed been hinted at.
“What does it matter where I study? Im not planning to conquer the capital. Ive been there a few times and learned I dont want to live there.”
“Were in a decent market town, everything we need is right here. Theres no point in choking on city smog.”
“Ill probably go remote in the future and maybe move to a small village,” Lena said openly about her plans.
That was the final straw for Victoria.
“Polly, you have to steer her. If you keep letting this happen, there wont be a single sensible person left in the family.”
“Not only is the older daughter a nuisance, but Lena, looking at her, keeps pushing her away.”
Before Lena could finish her retort, Sophie interjected.
“Oh, so thats the opinion you have of me, Grandma? You call me a nuisance, but youre the one whos always nagging about cleaning and buying groceries.”
“How do you even manage to deal with someone like me?” Sophie continued, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “And how humiliating it must be for you to take money and things I give you.”
“What things?” Polly asked, genuinely surprised. Shed never meddled in Sophies finances, so any help from her was a surprise.
“Just the little stuff. Sometimes I buy her a kettle, sometimes a microwave. Its not much, and shes on a pension, after all.”
“I never thought Id be helping a grandma who doesnt even like me, but still, I suppose its better than nothing.”
“Sophie, listen. Without a higher education a person”
“Your higher education, Grandma, might as well have you running to the shop for groceries,” Sophie snapped.
Polly, fed up, demanded that Victoria leave our house and never return.
Peter, upon hearing his mothers outburst, fully backed his wifes decision and cut off contact with his mother. He said it was one thing to be obsessed, but another entirely to insult his own grandchildren because of that obsession.
Victoria tried a few more times to make peace with us, but eventually gave up. Sophie and Lena no longer speak to her, and they never answer her calls, just as Polly does.
Boris and Peter still meet her on neutral ground, but none of them have discussed any future education plans for their children.
Perhaps the old lady will learn from her mistakes and, having lost two grandchildren, might still keep a relationship with the third.
Only time will tell.
