When Dad Brian came back from a business trip he looked pensive, as if hed been mulling over something important.
Dont tell me youre falling in love? Mum Margaret teased over dinner as he added a pinch of salttwice.
The joke fell flat. Brian pushed his halfeaten plate aside and slipped away to the study.
Sam, why isnt Lily stopping by? one morning Margaret asked her younger son. The weddings coming up!
Vince, the older brother, fell silent.
The woman juggling a hectic career suddenly remembered she hadnt seen her sons fiancée in ages
The junior sons future wife had won Margarets heart at first sight, though she did have a few worries. After all, the elder brother had married a highmaintenance, siliconeenhanced influencer with perfectly sculpted eyebrows and lashessomeone who spent whole days livestreaming and the rest polishing her otherworldly looks.
The parents were a bit flummoxed. Their son, however, was already a grown man, running a team at work and even owning a flat of his own.
Let him bring home whoever he likes! Mum declared. Hell have to live with it, and well just grin and bear the occasional eyeroll when he tries to keep the drama to a minimum.
It was puzzling, though, because twentysixyearold Kyle had always been clever and quickwitted. Why hed chosen such an eccentric partner remained a mystery. He fell headoverheels, the poor lad.
His rosecoloured glasses shattered fast when he realised they were looking at two completely different people. Who would have thought? And before that, it was all so clear.
When Kyle dropped by the parents house, he announced the divorce: We only lasted a little over six months.
What, what happened? Mum asked. Dad stared deeply into his tea, silent. Did you not click? Was it the borscht and the pastries?
Borscht? Kyle snapped, irritated. Did you see her nails?
I saw them. Didnt you?
Yeah, I saw them, he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
So whats the complaint? Did you think theyd just disappear after the ceremony? Or that shed be kneading dough with those claws?
Not kneading, but
Kyle hadnt really thought it through. He was like the famous Basil B. who believed everything would sort itself out, the fridge would magically fill with meals, shirts would appear ironed on the wardrobe door, and the toilet would clean itself with a smile. That was life while he still lived at home; his own flat was being let out until the wedding.
But the toilet refused to selfclean. Why, he wondered.
All his prewedding daydreams crumbled. The honeymoon went off without a hitch, and the nails werent a problem then.
Everything went wrong later, when the new bride tried to hold an iron with clawlike fingers. Of course thats impossible! Nobody was about to become a handyman, let alone a chef or a cleaner. Mum and Dad hadnt raised a daughter to be a housemaid.
A fullblown standoff emerged: Why should I do all this? Your shirtsiron them yourself! Want borscht? Cook it or order it! Im a beauty; thats my main function! The logic, twisted as it was, reflected modernday socialmedia girls.
In the end the influencer girlfriend returned to her parents, who were proud of the bright, capable daughter theyd raisedthough the wedding expenses had been a waste.
Meanwhile the younger brother introduced Lily to the family. She was an instant hitsmart, gorgeous, and a manager at an oil firm. Beyond a decent salary, she wore barely any makeup, sported natural lashes and nails, and was a refreshing exception to todays beauty standards.
The parents breathed a sigh of relief and gave their blessing: Marry him, of course! And after the wedding well let you stay with us until you get your own place.
Lily started spending some nights at their house. Mum and Dad didnt mind; she brought a new touch of warmth, carefree charm, and cosy vibes. The flat felt cozier with her around.
Even Dad, who usually shunned small talk, began joining evening chats after dinner on the nights Lily stayed until sunrise.
Sam strutted around, proud that hed outpaced his older brother. Finally, theyll stop using Kyle as a role modellook at me! he bragged.
And where was Kyles wife now? Gone, of course.
With Lily, everything would be different. She was, after all, a proper ladybright, naturally beautiful, and not averse to a bit of housework. She delighted the family with homemade jamfilled pastries and buttery pies, which Dad Brian adored.
Sam was certainly lucky. Let Kyle have a look now, he teased.
Parents approved Sams choice; he was an obedient son. He made a nervous proposal, and a wedding date was set.
Then Lily asked to push the ceremony back two months instead of one, saying she needed extra time to prepare.
There was nothing untoward about that; who knows what secrets a young, pretty woman might hide? Theres always a mystery, she winked at Sam.
Sam, eager to legalise the relationship, felt a sting of disappointment. Hed always thought a bride should be eager for a quick weddingevery girl, right? No dragging a cat by its tail!
Turns out Lilys parents had perished in a car crash the previous year, living in another city. So the whole wedding planning fell to the grooms family, with Lily barely involved.
Buy a dress and rings in a day, and well sort the rest without you, Lily! they said, but she dug in her heels, refusing to be pushed.
They didnt fight, and it wasnt a dealbreaker, but there was a lingering sour note.
Sam told his parents about the standoff, wondering if he was overreacting. Mum mulled it over while Dad sided with the future daughterinlaw, even delivering a short speech:
What actually happened? Who knows whats racing through her head! A month sooner or later, what does it matter? Youll still see each other regularly.
Dads unexpected support surprised everyone; he usually stayed out of such squabbles, preferring to say, Sort your own messes; Ive already cleared mine. He didnt want to be blamed for everything.
That bit of sense calmed Sam.
Time passed, the dress was bought, and then Lily fell ill with a nasty highfever virus. I wont come, Sam, Im contagious! she texted, then added, Dont come to me eitherI’m renting a flat to isolate. If I need anything Ill order delivery! And she disappeared like a bright bird off a branch.
Sam spent his evenings at home, chatting with Mum about his beloved Lily and the looming wedding, thrilled as ever. Meanwhile Dad was sent off on another work trip, leaving them undisturbed.
Dad was a practical man, and as mentioned, he stayed out of those lovefilled conversations.
The illness lingered, turning into pneumonia. It wont stop the wedding! the groom declared, though Lily looked frail, her cheeks pale from the sickness. Her blood count must have dropped!
Why was she embarrassed? Perhaps the virus made her selfconscious.
Sam felt a familiar flutter, like the day theyd stand at the registry. Lily, however, started pulling away from intimacy.
Trying not to overthink, Sam left her side one night, muttering, Youre better off without me, Lily, and walked out, his first real breakup moment.
Maybe she truly felt unwell, maybe not. He didnt go to his parents for advice this time; Dad didnt need those mousy concerns, and Mum was swamped with work emergencies.
When Dad finally returned from his trip, he was quieter, more withdrawn than ever.
At dinner, your wife youve added too much salt again, Mum joked. The joke fell flat; Brian pushed his untouched plate away and retreated to the lounge.
A few days later, NikolKyles frienddropped by. By then Lily was back at work, yet she kept dodging Sam, claiming she was too busy. Mum finally noticed.
The wedding was a week away, everything ready.
Nikol and his brother sequestered themselves in a room, talking at length. It turned out Nikol had met Lilys father in town while she was bedridden with a high temperature and he was away on a trip. Theyd sat in a café, holding hands, laughingcompletely oblivious to the fact that Kyle was smitten.
So thats the love story, all tangled up.
Nikol regretted spilling the beans for about ten days, fearing the fallout. Yet in the end, everyone would find outno one was planning to marry Sam in secret.
A chaotic scene followed, after which Dad left. Hed told Lilys landlord he was serious about moving in, leaving everything else to the couplehed already dealt with his own share.
In the stress, they tried to sort things out.
Eventually Lily did get marriedmuch later, and to Dad Brian, despite a huge age gap. He had already divorced his previous wife. Does love have an age limit? Apparently not.
That turned out to be a double betrayal. Kyle finally beat his younger brother at something: his wife didnt throw him under the bus with his own fatherinlaw.
The pretty girl turned out to be the ultimate heartbreakera snake theyd all unintentionally cradled against their chests.
Who knows whats best now, dear readers?
Its like that old horse joke about whether a sled or a cart is betterboth are just nonsense to a horse.
And Lily? Shes a bit of a mystery, isnt she? And Dad? Not a bad chap either.
The tale ended on a melancholy note. Sam and Nikol decided not to marry, staying with Mum, who now needed support after twentyeight years of marriage ended.
Mum Margaret was about to turn fifty. They hadnt planned a birthday bash; all money and energy had gone into Sams wedding, supposed to be a week before the anniversary.
Now the wedding had fallen through. The brothers coaxed Mum into rearranging everything, turning the cancelled wedding into a birthday celebrationcheaper than covering the wedding costs. Logic won over sentiment.
They postponed the party by a week, scrapped the elaborate décor, and gave guests a headsup: everything else stays the same, just the theme changed. Gifts could stay as they wereuseful anyway.
So, happy birthday, Margaret! And dont be sour about your age.
Who knows what this hasty marriage would have boiled down to? One day there might still be a streetwide fêtejust wait a bit, because Borer, Brianwont be turning sixteen anytime soon.
