Again, you were with her, Zina said, the pain clear in her eyes as she looked at me.
I choked on my words and dropped the spoon.
Your watch! she nodded toward my wrist.
Yes, thats right, I waved a hand, trying to hide the timepiece under my cuff.
I saw the box in the rubbish, Zina said, and there was even a receipt inside!
I lowered my gaze, staring at the plate in front of me.
We agreed you wouldnt go back to her, Zina said, hurt in her voice. You promised, you swore!
Zina, she begged me, I began, and I know I promised, but shes still my boss. How could I refuse?
Politely! Zina kept her composure. Im married, I love my wife!
It was forced on me, she sighed. And with all due respect shes not the only employer in town.
Think logically, Zina, I tried to collect my thoughts. Shes offering me the best terms in memory of my past work, Zina gritted her teeth but stayed silent. Would any other firm do that? Probably not.
Living off you is something youd never want either, I added. Shes making an exception, remembering old debts. And the watch isnt the only thing I brought backgold chains with zodiac pendants for you and little Kat.
What a heavenly generosity, Zina retorted bitterly. Youll sell them and hand over the money! Neither I nor Kat will ever wear those!
Ill just return them to the shop, I shrugged, Valentina Grigoryevna left the receipt.
And the watch! Zina pointed again at my wrist.
Right, fine, I winced. Ahno, theres no box and no receipt!
Zina placed the items on the table in front of me.
Fine, I answered dryly. Ill return them. Happy?
Dont go back to her! Find a way, but make sure it never happens again!
I clicked my tongue, turned my head, and exhaled.
Zina, she promised it was the last time, but you have to understand our wellbeing depends on the salary she pays. If she asks
Youll have to refuse! Zina snapped. Fine then. It was a forced measure, but we dont need that now.
***
A person never truly knows how far theyll go when desperation grips their throat. In those moments folk say theyll do anything, but its often bravado. Even in dire need theres a line you wont cross.
James and Zinas life had never been easy. Their childhood offered little comfort. Though they werent from a childrens home, they sometimes dreamed of one. Both came from large families.
Whether luck smiled or not, they landed somewhere in the middleneither the whole burden nor the full support rested on their young shoulders, yet work was scarce.
Prosperity, in their world, meant simply: not hungry, clothed, shod, and warmalmost a blessing. A small slip could mean losing dinner or sleeping in a shed.
From early on they had to hustle, survive, lie, grab, and defend themselves. Psychological scars were barely a thought then.
They were strung together like beads on a string, each knot pulling them away from the family home with a hope never to return.
Both could have moved to the nearest sizable cityManchester, for instancebut they chose to travel a thousand miles and settle somewhere not the biggest town.
Their guiding thought was to be wanted, not found, to cut all ties with relatives forever. Nothing warm or familiar remained under any roof.
At the end of each of their separate journeys, they met. Some might call it coincidence; others, a kind of inevitable pull.
When they swapped life stories, they were shocked at how alike their paths were.
Maybe its just human nature, James said philosophically. Or perhaps its how things are. Our hometowns are about two thousand miles apart, our accents differ, our cultures vary, yet we were broken the same way.
Shared pain binds tighter than a common goal. Their wedding soon felt inevitable.
Going it alone is hard, especially at the start. Together, they could move mountains. And so James and Zina began their joint march toward happiness.
They studied, took odd jobs, then held steady workthough not at the same place. They chased everything denied in childhood: good food, new clothes, decent shoes, personal trinkets, and finally, a home of their own.
Saving for a deposit proved a nightmare. Every temptation seemed essential, making it impossible to set aside money.
Their behaviour wasnt exactly sensible, but it became a shared quirk, and it never sparked a major argument because both were the same.
When Zina discovered she was pregnant, reality hit.
Darling, well have another soon, and renting a flat with a small child, James said.
I know, Zina replied. We need to save for the deposit!
Overconfidence got them a shabby secondhand flat, even one in a state of disrepair.
Lets fix it up, James shrugged. London wasnt built in a day. The flat is ours!
Right, Zina sighed, in her final month, and then well be paying it off for twenty years.
Well manage, James said, feigning optimism.
After baby Kat was born, they sat down with a calculator. The maths was clear: cut the frivolous spending, tighten the belt, and the mortgage could be cleared while still living decently.
There were many assumptions, unknowns, even the word inflation slipped into their calculations. They felt confident they could survive.
Where confidence lives, fate often has other plans. Fate seemed to keep a few harsher tests in reserve, but held them back for the moment when everything ran smoothly.
Zina worked as a cashier in a supermarket; James was an office manager. She aimed to become senior cashier, while James prepared to head a department.
A raise would ease their finances. Cautiously, they projected an earlier mortgage payoff and a slightly more comfortable life.
Then Kat fell ill. Doctors struggled to diagnose the twelveyearold. It turned out shed contracted a rare tropical disease from a travelling petting zoo that passed through their town.
Treatment was long and the medicines exorbitant.
We secured a mortgage holiday, James told her, but its only for a year. Anything longer is unlikely.
What do we do? Zina asked, tears welling.
I dont know, James admitted, our companys ownership changed. The new boss froze all promotions.
Go to her, Zina urged. Shes a woman, shell understand. Ill go too if I have to. Ill beg on my knees.
Three days later James returned home at midnight, weary and emptyhanded. Fortunately, the next day was Saturday.
In the morning Zina asked, Whats the story with the green snake we were chasing?
Zina, I cant quite explain, James said, shaking his head, Our new manager, Valentina Grigoryevna, turned out to be a lonely woman. She said she needed certain services for her health, and shes willing to not only promote me but also pay extra.
Shes lost it? Zina shouted. Youre married!
And not once! James laughed. She said its better this way. Im a reliable, diseasefree employee. No romantic stringsjust a business arrangement, and money from her.
Zina sat stunned, the scales tipped between her daughters health and a purely business deal.
What do you think about it? she asked quietly.
Whatever you say, itll be done, James replied.
Zina realised that if James left the decision to her, he was already mentally and physically prepared. Hed spent a sleepless night with a bottle debating the moral line.
He chose to actfor Kats sake. He wouldnt have told Zina if it were only for himself.
He couldnt hand his husband over to another woman without knowing something about her. He opened Valentinas social profile:
Shes fifteen years older, no children, never married. A classic businesswomanher heart is a wallet, and whatever she wants she buys.
James, tell her Zina began, but finishing the sentence felt impossible. Tell her its only for the child, and when she recovers everything ends.
I told her that straight away, James blushed, Ill be a mans man, but Kat must be saved.
Four years passed before Kat recovered. Zina endured endless weeks of worry while James called, saying Valentina was asking for him. She heard her husband only once or twice a month.
Eventually James did get the promotion. He first became department head, then deputy branch manager. The climb didnt stop there, but it took time.
Valentinas giftscash, receipts, even a fancy watchwere generous enough to cover Kats treatment and leave surplus. She even attached shop addresses and receipts so the presents could be returned if needed.
When Kats final tests came back clean, Zina breathed a sigh of relief.
Now, darling, we dont have to keep dealing with your boss. We can just work normally, she said.
Thank God! James replied, relieved, Ill tell her tomorrow.
A month later Zina noticed a new shirt in Jamess wardrobe, not from a highstreet shop but a designer boutique, a goldclip tie, a leather wallet, and cash tucked inside. He talked about a bonus for his stellar performance as branch head, and then, of course, the watch.
She found the box and receipt in the trash.
What a load of freebies! she muttered.
James, clearly still providing services to Valentina, tried to shrug it off.
What are you talking about! he shouted. Weve got no need for luxuries! We live modestly, hunt discounts, and I just want a decent lifea car, a holiday, nice clothes for you, shoes, jewellery, a coat, and a solid future for our daughter. Im not just doing it for me, but for all of us!
His sudden outburst stunned Zina. She stood frozen, watching his flushed face, then the realization hit her like cold water.
Goodness! Zina whispered, breaking the silence. Youve spun that all nicely, but its still an excuse. All for the family, you say, but youre not hurting yourself?
Yes, and what then? James challenged.
Dont you hurt yourself either! Zina said, nodding at the watch. No, James. Thats it. Thank you for helping Kat heal, but I cant stand this any longer. Leave.
James never understood why Zina drove him out.
Whats the point? When its for the child, its fine. When its not, it isnt. Im also a person, I have rights, especially since I earned this.
