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“WHY DID YOU SAVE HIM? HE’S JUST A VEGETABLE! NOW YOU’LL BE CHANGING BEDPANS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AND I’M YOUNG—I NEED A MAN!” — SCREAMED THE BRIDE IN INTENSIVE CARE. DR LIDA SAID NOTHING, SHE KNEW THIS PATIENT WASN’T ‘A VEGETABLE’, BUT THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD HEAR HER.

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WHY DID YOU SAVE HIM? HES A VEGETABLE! NOW YOULL BE CHANGING BEDSHEETS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AND IM YOUNG, I NEED A REAL MAN!
Thats what the fiancée was yelling in the ICU. Dr. Lydia Bennett stayed silent. She knew this patient wasnt a vegetablehe was the only one truly listening to her.

Lydia was a neurosurgeon. At thirty-eight, the operating theatre was more home to her than anywhere else. Her personal life was a blank page. Her husband had left five years ago for a chirpy Pilates instructor, and on his way out hed told her, Lydia, youre like a scalpelsharp and stone-cold. Its chilly being with you.
But Lydia wasnt cold. She was just focused. Theres little room for emotion when youre rummaging through someones brain.

One shift, they brought in a bloke after a nasty crash on his motorcycleskull fractured, brain damage, unresponsive. Odds were a million to one.
Colleagues shook their heads:
Lyd, hes a goner. Even if he makes it, hell be a complete invalid. Just a vegetable.
Were operating, Lydia said, leaving no room for argument.

She stood by the table for six hours, piecing together shattered skull, sewing up vessels. She fought for him as if shed known him all her life. What for? She couldnt explain. Maybe because when she saw his face before the swellingyoung, stubborn, strikingshe thought: not today.

His name was Arthur Collins. Twenty-nine.

He survived, but remained unconscious. Coma changed into a vegetative state. Lying there, tangled in tubes, breathing with the help of machines.

His fiancée walked ina flashy blonde with inflated lips.
When she saw Arthur, she curled her nose.
Ugh Thats him?
Yes, Lydia replied, checking the monitors. Hes in a critical but stable state. Its too soon for predictions.
Predictions?! the girl squawked. Cant you see? Hes dead! Were getting married in a month! Our holiday to Bali is all paid for! And here he is, taking up a bed!
Show some respect, Lydia murmured. He can hear you.
Oh as if! His brains are mush! Cant you just I dont know switch it all off? Why are you dragging this outfor him or for me? I didnt sign up to be a nurse to a cripple!

Lydia sent her away. Firmly.
Out. If I see you again, Ill call security.

The girl clacked away, high heels echoing. She never returned.
Arthur was left on his own. No familyjust another child of the system.
Lydia found herself staying late, at first just to check his readings, then lingering to talk with him.

Hello, Arthur. Rain todayfilthy weather, but the airs fresh. Saved a lovely old lady today, she had an aneurysm
She read him novels, chatted about her cat, shared stories about her ex-husband and how tired she was of being alone.

It was odd, pouring her heart out to someone motionless, staring blankly at the ceiling. But she felt he was there.
She massaged his hands to keep the muscles from wasting away. Played him rock music through headphonesshed found his playlist on the phone brought in with his things.

The other staff were giving her funny looks.
Lydias lost the plot. Shes half in love with a vegetable.
But sometimes, when she walked into the room, his heart rate would change. She noticed.

Four months slipped by.
One day, sitting at his bedside filling out paperwork, she said, Arthur, theyve offered to promote me. Head of department. Im terrifiedmanagement, admin, endless forms All I really want is to heal people.
Suddenly, she felt ita featherlight touch.
His fingers squeezed her hand.

Lydia froze, looking up.
Arthurs eyes were fixed on her. Awake, aware.
He tried to speak, but the tracheostomy made it impossible. His lips silently shaped the word:
T h a n k s

It was a miracleboth medical and human.
Recovery was hellish. He had to learn to breathe, swallow, speak, move all over again.
Lydia was there throughoutphysio, psychologist, friend.

When he could first speak, he said:
I remember your voice. You used to read me Remarque. And youd tell me about your cat. Tom.
Lydia weptfor the first time in years, she let the tears flow.

After six months, Arthur was discharged. He still needed a wheelchair, but doctors said he would likely walk again.
Lydia brought him homenot as a patient, but because she couldnt bear to leave him in an empty flat with no one to call for help.

Life was peculiara doctor and her charge. But something grew between them.
Arthur was a software developer, it turned out. From his wheelchair, he started working remotely.
Ill buy you a new winter coat, Lyd, hed say. The blue one you dreamt about.
Nonsensesave up for your rehab instead.

A year later, Arthur took his first steps. Limping, leaning on a cane, but walking.
And then the fiancée showed up again.
Saw him standingtall, handsome, more rugged than everin photos posted online. She turned up at Lydias door.

Oh Arty! Darling! Ive missed you so much! I was beside myself! The doctors terrified me, said you wouldnt make it! Please forgive me, I was such a fool! I love you!

She hung on his neck, reeking of expensive perfume.
Lydia waited in the hallway, fists clenched.

Arthur gently but firmly pried his exs hands away.
Christine, he said calmly, I heard everything. Back in ICU. Every word. About being a vegetable, about Bali, about pulling the plug.

Artie, I was in shock! It was all too much!
No, Christine. That was the real you. Please go.
But I
Just leave.

Christine stormed out, cursing Arthur all the way.

Arthur turned to Lydia.
Do you know why I came back?
No, why?
Because you were calling me. In the darkness, I heard your voice. You were my beacon.

He limped over and wrapped her in his arms.
Lydia, youre not cold. Youre warmer than anyone Ive ever known.

Their wedding was quietno fuss, just close friends.
Arthur made a full recovery. Now theyre raising an adopted sonthe same boy Lydia operated on some time back, after a terrible injury, the one whose parents had abandoned him.

Lydia became head of the department after all. Yet she still lingers at the bedsides of her most critical patients, knowing that even when the body is silent, the soul is listening. Sometimes, a kind word works better than the sharpest scalpel.

The lesson for me:
Its all too easy to give up on others based on their diagnosis or what meets the eye. But love and belief can revive a soul more powerfully than any medicine. Betrayal when things get dark reveals a persons true face, and real love isnt proven on a luxury beach, but at a hospital bedsidequietly holding a hand through the darkness.

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My Ex-Wife… Two years ago, as my work assignment was ending and I prepared to return home to Altham, I had three hours to spare after buying my ticket. Wandering the city, I was suddenly approached by a woman I immediately recognised—my first wife, whom I had divorced twelve years earlier. Zina looked much the same, though her face was paler. Our meeting seemed to affect her just as deeply as it did me. I’d loved her intensely—painfully so—which led to our divorce. My jealousy was overwhelming; I suspected her of everyone, even her mother. Whenever she was late, my heart pounded and I felt like I was dying. Eventually, Zina left; she couldn’t stand my constant questioning. I remember coming home from work one day with a puppy to cheer her up, only to find a note on the table. She wrote that although she loved me dearly, my suspicions had worn her down, and she had to leave, begging me not to look for her… Now, after twelve years apart, we met by chance in the city where I was on business. We talked for a long time, and I began to worry about missing my coach home. At last, I said, “I’m sorry, but I have to go or I’ll miss my bus.” Zina asked a favour: “Alex, please, do me this one kindness. I know you’re in a hurry, but for the sake of what we once shared, don’t refuse me. Come with me to an office just for a moment—it’s important, and I can’t go alone.” I agreed, but warned, “Only if it’s quick!” We entered a large building, wandering up and down staircases, moving from one wing to another—it felt like only fifteen minutes. People of every age—from children to the elderly—passed us, but I didn’t wonder why so many, especially children, were in such a place. My attention was fixed on Zina. She finally disappeared behind a door, giving me a look as if saying farewell, and said, “How strange—it seems I could be neither with you, nor without you.” I waited for her to return, wanting to ask what she meant, but she never came back. Suddenly, reality hit: I was running late and still standing there. Glancing around, I panicked. The building was derelict, its windows just gaping holes. There were no stairs—only some planks I had to carefully use to make my way out. I missed my bus by an hour and had to buy a new ticket. When I finally did, I learned the bus I’d missed had crashed into a river and no one survived. Two weeks later, I stood at my former mother-in-law’s door; I’d tracked her down through records. Mrs. Allen told me Zina had died eleven years earlier, just a year after our divorce. I didn’t believe her, thinking she feared I’d resume my jealous pursuit. When I asked to see Zina’s grave, she surprisingly agreed. Hours later, I was at a gravestone, staring at the smiling face of the woman I’d loved all my life—the woman who, in an inexplicable way, had just saved mine.
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Anna Parker sat weeping alone on a hospital bench. It was her 70th birthday, yet neither her son nor her daughter had come or called. Only her ward-mate, Mrs. Evans, had wished her happy birthday and given a small gift, and young care assistant Molly brought her an apple. The care home was respectable, but most of the staff were indifferent. Everyone knew this was where the elderly were left by children for whom they had become a burden. Anna’s own son had brought her here, saying it was only for a rest and some treatment, but in truth, she was simply in the way of her daughter-in-law. The flat had been Anna’s, until her son convinced her to sign it over. He promised she could continue living at home, but after the family moved in, arguments began—especially with her daughter-in-law, who seemed always dissatisfied. At first, her son stood by her, but soon even he became irritable. Then one morning, he suggested she should stay in a care home for a bit. Anna looked him in the eye and bitterly asked, “Are you putting me in a nursing home, son?” He blushed and protested, “No, Mum, it’s just a convalescent home. Just for a month, then you’ll be home.” He quickly dropped her off, signed the papers, and left, promising to visit soon. He only came once, bringing two apples and two oranges, and dashed away without even hearing her out. She’s been living here ever since—already two years have passed. After a month, when he still hadn’t come, Anna called her old home only to hear strangers’ voices. It turned out her son had sold the flat, and now she had no idea where he was. She cried for a few nights, but realised tears would not change anything—she would never go home again. The saddest part was that Anna had once deeply hurt her daughter for her son’s sake. Anna grew up in the English countryside, married her school sweetheart Peter, and together they owned a house and small farm. Times weren’t easy, but they never went hungry. But a city friend convinced Peter the city promised a better life with jobs and housing. So they sold everything and moved; the council gave them a flat and they bought a second-hand Mini. But then Peter died in a car crash. Widowed, Anna raised her two children alone, cleaning apartment blocks at night to make ends meet. She hoped her children would help her in old age, but life took a different turn. Her son got into trouble with the law; Anna borrowed money to save him from prison and paid off debt for years. Later, her daughter Dasha married and had a child, but the boy became seriously ill. With her husband gone, Dasha depended on Anna’s help, but Anna had little to spare—she refused to give Dasha the deposit money, saving it for her son instead. The pain of this betrayal lingered; Dasha left, vowing not to return or acknowledge her mother. Twenty years passed with no contact. Dasha’s husband recovered, and they moved with their children to the seaside. Anna often wished she could undo the past—but what’s done is done. Slowly, Anna rose from the bench and turned to return to her room, when suddenly she heard, “Mum!” Her heart leapt as she turned. It was her daughter—Dasha—reaching out to steady her as Anna’s knees buckled. “I finally found you… Your brother wouldn’t give me the address, but I threatened court over the flat he sold illegally—then he caved in…” Together, they sat in the corridor. “Forgive me, Mum, for not speaking for so long. First, I was angry; then ashamed. Last week, I dreamed of you walking and crying in a dark forest. I woke up heavy-hearted and told my husband everything. He told me, ‘Go, make peace.’ I came, but strangers lived at your house. I searched everywhere and finally found you. Now pack your things—you’re coming with me. We have a lovely house by the sea. My husband insisted: if your mother needs you, you bring her home.” Anna hugged her daughter and at last, wept tears of joy. Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land the Lord your God is giving you.
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Default Breakup “It’ll all be fine,” Vova whispered quietly, trying to sound confident as he drew a deep breath and pressed the doorbell. The evening promised to be tense—how could it be otherwise? Meeting the parents was never easy… The door opened almost at once. On the threshold stood Mrs. Alexandra Peterson. She looked immaculate—her hair styled into a neat chignon, an elegant dress, makeup done just so. Her sharp gaze flickered to Lara, lingered on the basket of biscuits, and her lips tightened—for the briefest instant, but Lara noticed. “Come in,” Mrs. Peterson said coolly, barely stepping aside to let them pass. Vova entered, doing his best not to meet his mother’s eyes, Lara trailing after him, stepping over the threshold with care. The flat greeted them with muted lighting and the woody scent of sandalwood. Everything was cosy, yet almost ostentatiously perfect. No clutter, no stray scarf tossed aside or a forgotten book. Every detail screamed order and control. Mrs. Peterson led them into the sitting room—a spacious place with a large window, heavy cream drapes, an imposing sofa upholstered in expensive fabric, and a low mahogany table. She indicated the sofa with a precision that brooked little argument. “Tea? Coffee?” she asked, still not looking Lara’s way. Her voice was even, emotionless, as if going through social motions rather than being truly welcoming. “I’d love some tea, thank you,” Lara replied politely, striving to sound calm and friendly. She set the basket on the table, undid the ribbon, lifting the lid gently. The smell of fresh biscuits filled the room. “I brought biscuits I baked myself—if you’d like to try.” Mrs. Peterson glanced at the basket, then nodded. “Alright. I’ll bring some tea.” Whilst she was in the kitchen, Vova hunched near Lara and murmured, “Sorry. Mum’s always… like this.” “It’s okay,” Lara smiled, squeezing his hand. “I understand. What matters is that you’re with me.” When Mrs. Peterson returned, she carried a tray with fine bone china teacups, a silver teapot, biscuits neatly arranged on a plate. She poured the tea with care and took her seat, arms folded in her lap, directly opposite her guests. “So, Lara,” she began, her gaze picking over every detail—hair, eyes, how Lara held her cup. “Vova said you’re at university—training to be a nursery teacher, isn’t it?” “I am, yes, I’m in my third year,” Lara replied, steadying the teacup so her hands wouldn’t tremble. “Teaching children is something I genuinely love. Helping them learn and grow means a lot to me.” “With children,” Mrs. Peterson echoed, a hint of irony in her arched brow. “Admirable, I suppose. But you do realise the pay for that work is… modest? These days, one must consider the future, security.” Vova jumped in, a bit more heated than intended: “Mum, must it always be about money? Lara loves what she does. That’s more important. Money will come—we’ll support one another, that’s what matters.” Mrs. Peterson turned her head toward her son, but didn’t reply right away. She sipped her tea, as if weighing every word with care. “Loving your work is wonderful,” she said at last, returning her gaze to Lara. “Still, love alone rarely pays the bills. Have you considered what comes after university? Any plans for your future?” Lara drew a deep breath, gathering her thoughts—she sensed this was more than mere curiosity; it was a test. “Of course I have,” she replied steadily. “I plan to start in a nursery, gain experience, and maybe take courses to work with children with special needs. Challenging, but I feel it’s my calling.” Mrs. Peterson nodded, silent, eyes keenly watchful. “I don’t intend to be a burden on Vova,” Lara added, “I want to work, to be independent, to help build a strong family with more than just financial contributions. It’s important to do work I find fulfilling.” “An interesting perspective,” said Mrs. Peterson, tilting her head slightly. “But with your skills, have you not thought of something more lucrative? Sales, or marketing perhaps—those pay much better.” Vova tried to interject, but a subtle gesture from Lara stopped him. She sensed now was the time to speak up for herself. “And what is it you do?” she asked, surprising both Mrs. Peterson and herself with her firmness. Mrs. Peterson flinched, caught off guard, then collected herself. “I… I don’t work. My husband supports our family. I run the household, assist him in practical matters, keep order. That’s work in its own way—though unpaid.” “I understand,” Lara nodded, resolve growing within her. “So if you chose not to pursue a career for money, why expect me to give up what I love just for higher pay? I’m not asking Vova to provide for me.” A heavy silence settled. Mrs. Peterson stared at Lara, as if reassessing her. “My husband offered me that life. We could afford it, you see. But Vova…” Vova fidgeted uncomfortably at this. He cast his eyes at his mother, whose face remained impassive, and then to Lara, who sat upright, her expression proud but now shadowed by uncertainty. “Lara, you know—” he began haltingly, searching for the right words, his voice catching. “Mum only wants the best for us, you know. She doesn’t want us to face hardships we can avoid.” Lara looked at him in surprise—wasn’t he on her side a moment ago? How quickly his loyalty shifted. It hurt in ways she hadn’t anticipated, right when she most needed him. “So you agree with her, then?” she asked, voice steady but cool. “You think I should abandon my passion, take any job just because it pays more?” “Not exactly… but… Mum has a point: we need to think about the future, stability. We can’t just live for today, right? We need to know how we’ll manage.” Mrs. Peterson now gave Vova a small, approving glance. Then she turned back to Lara, arms still crossed, her tone softening, if only in form: “Tell me, Lara, do you truly believe my son should give up his dreams? After all, he’s always wanted to be a journalist—to travel, write, create. It’s not just a job—it’s who he is. But he’d have to leave that behind to provide for a family, wouldn’t he?” Lara opened her mouth, but Vova spoke first. “Mum, I…” “No, Vova, be honest,” Mrs. Peterson snapped in, not taking her eyes off him. “Are you ready to give up everything you’ve worked for—your dreams, chances to travel, new projects—just for this girl?” Vova stilled, torn. He looked to Lara—her hurt was visible, but she waited, letting him decide. He felt the tug of two versions of himself: one wanted to fight for Lara, the other feared his mother’s logic. “I…” he faltered, then inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to let go of my dreams. But I don’t want to lose Lara, either. I believe we can find a balance; maybe I can pursue journalism, if not as much as before, and Lara will be by my side—as I will, for her.” Mrs. Peterson sighed and shook her head, but said nothing more, reclining in her chair as if to signal she’d said all she meant and would wait for fate’s verdict. “How curious,” Lara said, her voice sharp now, “So Vova can’t give up his dreams, but I must? I’m the one meant to get a high-paid job, while Vova enjoys his life? Doesn’t seem very fair, does it?” Vova lowered his eyes, clutching his teacup tight, his hands trembling so the cup clinked gently against its saucer. Thoughts churned. He found no words to appease them all—mother, Lara, or himself. “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to juggle things then…” he mumbled, staring into the cup as if answers hid inside. “Juggle?” his mother scoffed, voice ironclad with certainty. “You can’t have everything. You must decide—career or family. Half-measures don’t work.” Vova swallowed hard, wanting to retort, to say times had changed—that people learn to balance love and work—but her stare reduced him again to a nervous boy, lost for words. “Well then, I think that’s enough for today,” Mrs. Peterson declared, rising with unhurried grace. “It’s getting late, and our neighbourhood gets rough after dark. Lara, it’s best you head home now. Vova—we need to talk. Right now.” No room for discussion—her words were law. “Mum, maybe I should walk Lara to the bus stop—at least—” “Don’t even think about it!” she shot back, not even glancing at him. “I’d be worried. Stay put.” Vova deflated, his shoulders hunched and hands limp. When his mother made up her mind, there was no arguing. “Sorry, Lara,” he mumbled, eyes down. “Best not to upset Mum. I won’t walk you out. You should book a taxi, alright?” Lara nodded. She didn’t argue, didn’t protest. She set her cup down, collected her bag, and rose to her feet. “Alright,” she said with cold calm, though her insides burned with pain and disappointment. “I’m off then.” She stood, smoothed down her jumper, as if that one act could assemble her thoughts. She made no attempt to smile—her smile felt false, irrelevant now. All she wanted was to be gone from this home where every pristine detail screamed she didn’t belong. “Thank you for the tea,” she said politely, her voice edged with chill—a mere formality now, the last word before her exit. “Goodbye,” Mrs. Peterson responded briskly, still not meeting her eye. As if Lara no longer existed. Lara made for the door, step by step, carrying the tension, not hurrying though every muscle screamed to bolt. At the threshold she looked back—Vova sat, head bowed, hands limp in his lap. He never looked up, never tried to stop her, never said a word. That silence told Lara everything. Relief hit her as she stepped out into the cool evening air, though the tangled surge of anger, sadness, resentment wasn’t so easily chased away. Now it was plain: Vova would always be his mother’s boy—never hers. She walked down the street, slow at first, then faster, as if she could outpace her thoughts. But they chased her: “He couldn’t even defend me. Couldn’t say he respected my choice. Pleasing his mother matters more than supporting me.” She barely noticed her quickening pace, her balled fists, choking back tears. Home at last, she shut the door, kicked off her shoes, slumped onto the hallway stool. The quiet cocooned her—and finally, she let herself breathe. The storm inside her eased. This wasn’t the end of the world—just the end of a story that perhaps should never have begun. Lara inhaled, exhaled. Tomorrow, she reminded herself, was a new day. She would cope. ******************* The next day, Lara ignored Vova’s calls. Her phone buzzed repeatedly, but she only glanced at the screen and tucked it away. She needed time—to think, to figure out what she really wanted. Over and over, her mind returned to their last conversation, to his silence, to the way he failed her when it mattered most. For days, she went through the motions: university, assignments, friends, but in a haze. She tried not to think of Vova, but the thoughts crept back: he would always be torn between her and his mother. Every important decision, every little thing, would pass through the filter of Mrs. Peterson’s judgment—a future Lara dreaded. A few days on, heading home from class, Lara spotted a familiar figure by her building. As she neared, she heard her name: “Lara!” She turned. Vova stood by the door, shoulders hunched, hands stuffed in his jacket. His look was apologetic, but had none of his former assurance. “We need to talk,” he started, not quite meeting her eye. “Mum explained to me…well, she thinks you’re not right for me.” Lara arched a brow, bracing herself for the familiar ache, but her face stayed calm. “And what do you think?” she asked, keeping her voice steady. Vova hesitated, eyes down, shuffling from foot to foot. He seemed to be searching for words that never came. “Well… she’s my mum,” he said at length, with a nervous shrug. “She just wants the best for me. I don’t want to upset her.” No strength or conviction in his tone—no explanation, just an excuse. Lara watched him, trying to see if he meant it or simply couldn’t face the truth. “So you agree with her?” she pressed, but she already knew. “I’m not saying I agree—” he blurted, meeting her gaze, “But she’s family. I can’t just turn away from her.” He fell silent, as if waiting for Lara to patch things herself, to find some solution. But she was in no rush—her mind was already moving on: “What if he never changes? What if he’ll always put his mum first? I’ll never be anything but second.” “Do you want to be with me?” she asked, quietly, directly. He stalled again. He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came. Instead, he only sighed, shoulders slumping, as if conceding he couldn’t give her what she needed. Lara nodded—a gesture more for herself than for him. She didn’t argue or ask for explanations. She just turned and entered the building, leaving Vova staring after her. He watched her disappear through the doors, feeling oddly hollow, unsure if he’d said what he really meant. That evening, Lara went for a walk. The street was quiet, lamplight spilling over wet pavements. The air was autumnal—leaves, rain, something fresh and free. She walked with no destination, letting her feet set the pace. Suddenly, she laughed. The sound was light, almost flippant, surprising her as much as anyone. She stopped, watching far-off lights flicker, and it struck her: trouble might lie ahead, but she was ready for it. Because now she knew—she didn’t need to twist for someone else, or explain herself, or prove her worth. She was free. And that was all that mattered.
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The Real Son “Lena, you won’t believe it! Matvey and I have decided—we’re off to Turkey again next year!” My stepdad was practically glowing with happiness. “He says he needs that hotel with the sea view all over again. What can I do? My own son makes the call, you know?” That word—*own*—slipped out so naturally, as if it mattered. “I’m happy for you,” I answered, thinking back to better times, before Matvey appeared on the scene. “Your own son… And you always said we were a family. That there was no difference, whether a child was born to you or not.” He used to say that. That I was his daughter, and that’s all there was to it. “Here you go again… Oh, Lena! You’re my daughter, that’s not up for debate! You know I love you as if you were my own. But still, Matvey is my son…” He didn’t even realize he’d just proven my point. “Matvey’s your son. So I’m just…what, an acquaintance?” “Lena, what are you talking about? I just said, you’re like a daughter to me!” “Like a daughter… Did you ever take me to the seaside? In the fifteen years you’ve called yourself my dad?” Nope. Never did. Arthur was always saying there was no difference between me and Matvey, but I could hear it in how much he did for his son—there was a world of difference. “It just never worked out, Lena. You know money was always tight in the past. You’re not a kid, you know what two weeks in a five-star hotel costs… It’s expensive.” “I get it,” I nodded. “Expenses. It’s a bit much to take me there. But for Matvey, whom you only discovered six months ago, you’re already thinking of buying a flat, so he’s got somewhere to bring his wife?” I smiled thinly, “Guess that’s a minor expense if it’s for a son?” “I’m not buying anyone a flat. Who told you that, eh?” “People.” “Tell your ‘good people’ to stop spreading gossip.” For a minute, I felt a flicker of hope. “Really, you’re not?” “Of course not. Oh, by the way! Guess where we’re going with him this Saturday? Karting! Back when he was at uni, he did some sort of racing, and I just tag along.” “Karting?” I repeated, “Sounds thrilling.” “Doesn’t it just?!” “Can I come with you two?” The question popped out before I could stop it. Arthur, clearly not wanting me there, spluttered: “Uh… Lena… You’d be bored, honestly. It’s a guy thing, really. Matvey and I, we’ve got our… you know, father-son stuff to talk about.” Ouch. “So… it might be entertaining for you, but not for me?” “That’s not quite it…” Arthur fidgeted, “It’s just, well, we haven’t seen each other for a lifetime. We’re trying to make up for lost time, just the two of us, you understand?” Understand. “You understand” had become the cruellest phrase in our new family lexicon. I was supposed to understand that flesh and blood always comes first, that now my place is somewhere out in the cold. And to be fair, Matvey was a great guy. Grew up without a father—his mum never told Arthur she’d had a child. And yet he’d done well for himself: clever, good-looking, kind. Everything a father could want from a son. “Dad, I helped out at the animal shelter. Fixed up the dog kennels,” Matvey would say. “Dad, by the way, you know I graduated top of my class?” “Dad, look, I fixed your phone!” He wasn’t just a son. He was the ideal son. That evening, after Arthur left, I found myself flipping through old photos. Arthur and Mum’s wedding (Mum, gone five years now, just leaving Arthur and me). Us at the allotment… Me on my school graduation day… Nothing would ever be as it was. * “Lena, you up? I’ve got an urgent question.” Arthur turned up at eight on the dot the next morning. “What’s so urgent?” I pushed back my fringe and started the coffee machine. “It’s about the flat for Matvey.” “So it’s true, then?” I breathed out. “Sorry, but yes. True.” “And you lied to me.” “I just didn’t want to upset you. But I need your advice! I’m thinking I should move quickly. He’ll want to get married sooner or later, and it’s best to help him while he’s still young. Give him a roof over his head. You know what I went through…” “Take out a mortgage,” I said tightly, dreading this whole conversation. Matvey really had landed on his feet. “I know, I know. But you know my credit history is a mess… Matvey deserves help from a dad he never had before.” “So what exactly do you want from me?” “Here’s the thing. I’ve got £20,000 saved. That’s enough for a deposit. The bank will never approve a loan for me. But they’d approve it for you. Clean record, you see? We put it in your name, make the payments together. All above board, I promise.” The illusion that “there’s no difference” between us was shattered forever. Oh, there’s a difference, all right. Not like he’d have put Matvey in this position. “So Matvey gets the flat, and I get the mortgage? Is that the deal?” Arthur shook his head, as if I’d just offered him an insult. “No, no! I’ll make all the payments… I’m not asking you to pay! Just need it in your name. Just think it over—” “I’m not thinking about the mortgage, Arthur. I’m thinking about the fact you don’t see me as your daughter anymore. You’ve got a son now. Him, you’ve known for six months. Me, for fifteen years. And only blood matters.” “That’s not true!” Arthur flared, “I love you both equally!” “No. You don’t.” “Lena, that’s not fair! He’s my real—” Curtain down. I wasn’t his daughter anymore. Just someone convenient to have around, until the real deal showed up. “Right then,” I said as politely as I could. “I won’t be signing anything, Arthur. I’ll need to buy my own flat one day. The bank won’t give me a second mortgage, will they?” Arthur seemed to remember for the first time that I’d be needing a place too. “Oh… I suppose you will, won’t you? But at least for now, before you buy your own, you could help me. I’ve got most of it covered, honestly. It’s just a couple of years—” “No. I’m not having anything registered in my name.” I didn’t expect Arthur to understand. “Fine,” he said, “If you can’t help me as a daughter… then I’ll have to manage by myself.” Whether he actually ever saw me as a daughter didn’t matter anymore. Now, Arthur existed only in the photographs. One evening, scrolling through my feed, I saw it. Arthur and Matvey at the airport, both in matching light jackets. Arthur’s hand, proudly on his son’s shoulder. The caption: “Off to Dubai with my dad. Family means everything.” Family. I put my phone down. A memory came back—me at five, years before Mum married Arthur. Life was tough then. My favourite doll broke, the one Gran had given me, and I sobbed and sobbed. My real father just shrugged: “Lena, why cry over a silly toy? Don’t bother me!” He was a man who never wanted to be bothered. His main interest was a bottle. I never really had a father, not until Arthur. Or so I thought. Arthur tried once more to change my mind. “Lena, we need to sort out this trust issue between us…” “What trust issue, Arthur? I said no, clearly.” “You really don’t understand. Matvey… he never knew his dad. Not ever! I have to make it up to him, somehow. He’s a grown man—he needs somewhere to live. And you wouldn’t have to do anything except sign! I promise, not a penny out of your pocket.” “Who’s going to make it up to me?” That hit a nerve. “Lena, enough! I don’t want any more arguments. I do love you, I do! But you have to understand—Matvey is my real family now. Maybe you’ll get it if you have your own kids one day. Yes, I love you both, but it’s different. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” “You need me. As a resource.” “Lena, cool off! You’re being dramatic.” “You switched to him in six months, Arthur,” I said. “I never asked you to choose. There never was a choice. You’ve told the truth: Matvey is your real one. I never was.” Six months went by. Arthur didn’t call. Not once. One day, I saw a new photo in my feed. Arthur and Matvey, this time in the mountains, both wearing expensive skiing gear. The caption: “Teaching Dad to snowboard! He’s a bit old for it, but with a son by your side, anything is possible!” I looked at it for a long while. I reached for my laptop to finish my report, when I got a text from an unknown number. “Hi Lena, it’s Matvey. Dad gave me your number, but he can’t bring himself to call. He wanted me to let you know he sorted the flat without your help, and he’s worried about you. He also wants to invite you over for the May bank holiday. He can’t explain why, but he’s really hoping you’ll come.” I typed and rewrote my reply three times. “Hi Matvey. Tell Arthur I’m really glad things are going well for him. I think about him too. But I won’t be coming. I have my own plans—I’m off to the seaside.” I didn’t mention that I’d bought my own ticket, and that it was only Brighton, not Turkey, and I wasn’t going with my dad but with a friend. I hit send. And realized that happiness was still possible, even without him.
07
Thank You for the Journey I Had Marrying Your Son; I’m Bringing Him Back to You.
05
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“WHY DID YOU SAVE HIM? HE’S JUST A VEGETABLE! NOW YOU’LL BE CHANGING BEDPANS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AND I’M YOUNG—I NEED A MAN!” — SCREAMED THE BRIDE IN INTENSIVE CARE. DR LIDA SAID NOTHING, SHE KNEW THIS PATIENT WASN’T ‘A VEGETABLE’, BUT THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD HEAR HER.