I Told My Fiancé We Live in a Rented Flat, But the Truth Is We’re Actually Living in My Place.

28May2025

Dear Diary,

I told Harriet that we were living in a rented flat in Croydon, but the truth is that the property is actually mine. I grew up in a small terraced house in Liverpool with only my mother and my grandmother. My father walked out when I was a child and never looked back, so I never had a male figure to model myself on. It fell to the women in my life to teach me resilience and independence, and I took that lesson to heart. By the time I turned twentyseven I had saved enough from my job as a carpenter to buy my own twobedroom flat in Sheffield with a modest mortgage of £120000. That achievement brought a new dilemma: how to navigate relationships when you own a home.

In the years that followed I dated a few lads, but the moment they learned I owned a property they stopped seeing me as a person and started seeing me as a convenient investment. I grew tired of being valued for my assets rather than my character. I wanted love for who I am, not for the brick and mortar I happen to own.

When I met Harriet, a lively schoolteacher from Oxford, I decided to test the waters. I told her that we were renting a place in Croydon because I wanted to see how she would treat me when I had no property of my own. She responded that the lack of a house wasnt an issue; she would work hard, save, and together we could buy a home where we could raise a family. Her practical optimism won me over, and for two years we lived together in that flat, with her contributing the rent she thought we owed the landlord. In reality, the mortgage was being paid from my own earnings, and Harriet was unknowingly helping to keep my house afloat.

Now the wedding is set for next month. Harriet has already spoken about buying a new home as soon as were married, and a knot of guilt has tightened around my chest. All this time I have taken her rent money, believing it was a harmless lie, but now the deception feels like a breach of trust. Should I come clean before the ceremony?

My mother and grandmother both shrug it off. Theres no need to make a confession, they say. You already own a house; a husband should provide a home for his wife. Yet I cannot shake the feeling that beginning married life on a foundation of falsehood is a poor start.

Lesson learned: honesty isnt just the best policyits the only one that lets you build a future together without the weight of hidden lies.