After the Holiday, Charles Didnt Return
Not heard a peep from your husband, have you?
No, Vera, not on the ninth day, not even the fortieth. Not a single word, Lydia would joke, fiddling with her work apron around her ample waist.
So, hes gone off on a bender or well, you know The neighbour gave her a sympathetic nod. Just wait, youll see. Have the police kept quiet as well?
Not a word from anyone, Vera. Silent as fish in that distant sea.
Well thats fate for you.
These words weighed heavily on Lydia. Switching her broom to her left hand, she began sweeping the fallen leaves by her small house. It was a lingering autumn of 1988. The freshly swept path hardly stayed clean for more than a minute, with yellow and brown leaves cascading constantly. Back and forth she swept, gathering them in piles.
It had been three years since Lydia Gulliver retired, and shed earned her rest. Last month, though, she had to take work as a council roadsweeper, as the pension didnt stretch far enough and no other job could be found so easily.
They lived like any English family then. Neither especially well, nor especially badly. They worked, brought up their son. Charles, her husband, didnt drink muchonly at Christmas or the odd birthday. Everyone at the factory respected himhe did a good, honest job. He never so much as looked at another woman. And Lydia herself had spent her life as a nurse at the infirmary, had been given certificates of merit.
Charles had gone off on a coach trip to the seaside, and simply never returned. At first Lydia didnt suspect anything. No calls meant all was well, she thought, hes enjoying himself. But when he didnt return on the appointed day, she began her searchphoning local hospitals, the police, even checking with the coroners office.
She wired a telegram to their sons barracks to let him know his father was missing, then managed to phone him. Together, they discovered Charles had checked out of his hotel, but hadnt boarded the train back. Disappeared. And again round that weary circuit: Lydia, calling hospitals and mortuaries.
Charless work simply shrugged: Our job is to hand out the holiday tickets to our best men, and we didwhatever happens in your family, thats not our problem. If he doesnt return in time, hell be dismissed.
Lydia was desperate to travel to the seaside herself, but her son changed her mind.
How would you find him there? If I get time off next week, Ill go down myself. Ill manage better in uniform.
Lydia settled, trying to keep busy so as not to spiral into dark thoughts. She visited the police routinely now, each time more calmly, but there was still no news. Work partly kept her going too. While she swept and was amongst people, she held herself together like that broom she wielded. At home, though, Lydia wept in the eveningsblaming herself and the fates for handing her so cruel a trial so late in life. Worst of all was not knowing.
Then, quite out of the blue, Charles appeared before her, just as suddenly as hed vanished.
He stood there in that deep-blue suit hed worn when he left for the coastno bag, no suitcasejust stood with his collar turned up, hands buried in his trouser pockets, watching Lydia sweep.
She didnt even notice him at first; she had no idea how long hed been standing there until her son called out.
Charles, Peter Lydia dropped her broom and ran to them.
She flung her arms wide, like a bird finally back at her nest, and threw herself into her husbands chest, embracing him. Charles, after a moment, embraced her too.
Come inside now, thats enough hugging, their son said, displeased. Lydia heard it in his clipped tone, his marching stride.
Peter, let me hug you too! Havent seen you since the spring, she called, dashing after her son.
All right, all right. Its coldcome on inside.
Why didnt you ring? Id have tidied up, made you something special.
Mum, I didnt come for cakes. I promised Id come, and here I am.
Lydia looked from husband to son. Shed been through so much, she felt almost in a daze. Hes alive, hes well, she thought. All she wanted, for now, was to feed them, get tea on, let them rest. Charles sat in silence.
Mum, sitplease.
But Lydia fussed through the kitchen, plates and mugs clattering.
Mum, I found Dadin another womans house at the coast.
Lydia turned sharply, staring at her husband. He sat at the table, hands clasped, head hung low, as though caught out like a schoolboy, thin and sullen, unwilling to confess.
With another woman, Charles? Whats going on?
All along, Lydia had feared something terrible: perhaps hed been robbed, lost his ticket, maybe beaten, forced to wander for scraps.
He didnt return homestayed with an Olivia Butler at her cottage near the shore. Didnt want to leave, Peter said.
Lydia stared, blinking.
Didnt want to?
Didnt. I realised I wasnt living as I ought, Charles began, voice rising. Woke up to the fact that life was passing me by. Just factoryhomefactory. Gardening at weekends. No freedom.
Freedom?! Lydia flushed with anger.
And you, Peter, why did you have to drag this bit of freedom back here? What were you thinking, bringing him? Was it to humiliate me? Wouldve been kinder to tell me hed died; would have been honest. I waited like a fool, cried myself out, and all along he was in some cottage by the waves
You know, Lydia perhaps I wanted a whole new start.
No, Charles, what happened was, you baked your head silly in that southern sun, left everything, and like the worst sort, ran off to another woman. A real man wouldve come back, divorced, then gone off for a new life. Would at least have been honest with us, and with himself. I dont want to see yougo!
Charles stood and made for the corridor and then turned into a room.
No, go onout the door! Like youd never come back! I dont want this, I cant Lydia, verging on hysterics, screamed after him.
Dad, please just go, Peter interrupted, meeting him at the hall.
Two weeks passed before Lydia saw Charles again.
With practised movements she swept the front path, shoving along water pooled from yesterdays rain. He stood at the far end of the row in a tatty old coat and a somewhat ridiculous hat.
Lydia, he called, a little louder each time.
She looked up at him with empty eyes. It was as if hed broken her arms and legs: she felt she might forgive, but could never reach out to him again. Charles trudged up to her.
Ive stayed, found work again at the factory. Not a foreman, mindjust a worker so far. Will you let me in?
She leaned on her broom and glanced at him.
Oh, Ill let you into sign the divorce papers. Thats urgent.
Not forgiven, then? Fair enough.
If you know that, why did you come?
When I left, Olivia said, Go and you dont come back. So I left, and here I am, Lydiagone and then returned.
Ha! Not wanted there, not wanted here, Charles. Because men like you arent wanted anywhere. And you only came back because Peter called the tune. He wouldnt budge without you, so you followed. Go on. Live your life as you wanted. Let me get on with my job. Youre trampling the path She swept his shoes with her broom for emphasis.
Lydia turned and swept with especial vigour. After a few minutes, she glanced over her shoulderCharles had gone. She breathed out, relieved at last, like a burden had rolled away. Shed feared he might keep standing there, and that she might forgive him Often, the ones who wound you most never have to defend themselves, for others do it for themThe wind picked up, scattering the leaves shed just gathered, but Lydia didnt stop. There would always be more leaves, more work, more days to fill. When Vera next walked by, she paused, watching Lydia for a moment before speaking.
Anything new, love?
Lydia straightened, wiped her brow, and, for the first time in weeks, let out a trembling laugh. Oh, the same as ever. Men come and men go, but autumn keeps on. I think Ill just let the wind sweep today.
Vera smiled, sensing something different in Lydias tonea hint of defiance, of peace.
When Lydia returned inside, the kettle was still warm from the morning. She poured herself a cup, sat down alone at her kitchen table, and gazed out the window at the tree-lined street. The world beyond was quiet, a patchwork of golds and browns, and for the first time in a long while, Lydia felt no weight in her chestonly the curious hush of possibility.
She reached over and patted the empty chair beside herthe one Charles used to filland then she rose, setting the cup gently in the sink. Onward, then, she whispered, voice steady.
Outside, children shrieked, running through piles of leaves shed just swept. Their laughter rose to the clouds as Lydia opened her front door and stepped into the autumn air, her broom forgotten, her hands free at last.












