Emily, are you busy? my mum asked, popping her head into my room.
One minute, Mum. Ill send this email then come help you, my daughter replied, her eyes glued to the screen.
We’re out of mayonnaise for the salad. I clearly miscalculated. And I forgot to pick up any dill. Would you nip to the shop before it closes?
All right.
Sorry to bother you. I know youve already done your hair. My heads spinning with all this holiday prep, Mum sighed.
Thats it, Im done, Emily said, snapping the laptop shut and swivelling towards her mum. What do you need?
She slipped on her boots and a coat, deciding against a hat for fear of ruining her hairdo. The shops just next door; shed hardly have time to catch cold. There was a light frost outside, with fine snow fluttering downjust like something from a Christmas card.
There werent many people in the shop, only those grabbing last-minute bits. All that was left of the herbs was a sagging mixed bunch with parsley and spring onion bundled in. Emily thought about calling her mum, to ask if those would do, but realised shed left her mobile at home. After a pause, she grabbed the limp greenery, picked out a tub of mayonnaise from the nearly bare shelf, paid at the till and stepped back out into the snowy night.
She hadnt taken two steps from the shop before a car swung around the corner, flooding her with headlights. Emily recoiled, her heel slipping on a patch of icy pavement dusted with snow. Her ankle twisted, sending her crashing onto the pavement. Her bag skidded away.
She tried to get up, but her ankle flared with pain and tears pricked her eyes. There was nobody about, and her phone was at home. What could she do? She didnt hear the car door softly shut behind her.
Are you all right? A young man was suddenly beside her. Can you stand? Here, let me help, he said, offering a hand.
I think Ive broken my ankle, thanks to you. Driving about like maniacs, you lot, turning the pavement into a skating rink, Emily snapped through tears, ignoring his hand.
Suit yourself. Who goes out in heels at night, anyway?
Oh, sod off, she shot back, sobbing.
Are you planning to sit here all night then? Fine. But Im not in the habit of leaving ladies injured in the snow. Where do you live?
Just there, Emily gestured towards the next building.
The man strode off, but soon she heard the engine again. The car reversed and stopped beside her.
Im going to pick you up nowtry not to put weight on your bad foot. One, two, three Before Emily could protest, he scooped her up and gingerly got her standing on one leg.
Can you balance? he asked, steadying her as he opened the car door. Lean on me and get in.
My bag! Emily cried, collapsing onto the passenger seat.
He retrieved the bag and popped it onto the back seat. At her building, he helped her out and carried her in his arms to the door, bumping the car door shut with his foot.
Outside her flat, he paused. Are your keys in your bag? Is anyone home?
My mum, said Emily.
Right. Buzz her and ask her to let us in.
There was no lift, so he had to carry Emily up three flights of stairs. She threw her arms round his neck, noticing how heavily he breathed. In the glow of the dim hallway, she saw sweat trickling down his face. Serves you right for racing your car outside the shop, she thought, vengefully.
Put me down, I can walk from here, Emily requested as they reached her front door.
He just grunted, still catching his breath. Suddenly, the door swung open and her mum appeared.
Emily? Whats going on?
The man shouldntered past, forcing her mum to step aside. He gently set Emily down and took a deep breath.
Fetch a chair, please, he told her shocked mum, who stood clinging to the coat hooks.
Mum scurried to the kitchen for a chair, and Emily gratefully sat, leg stuck out in front.
Will someone explain whats happening? Mum demanded, agitated.
The man didnt seem to hear. One hand steadying her ankle, he briskly unzipped her boot. Emily yelped.
What are you doing? That hurts!
What on earth are you about? Youre hurting her! Mum cried, aghast at Emilys swelling, purpling ankleobvious even through her tights.
Im calling for an ambulance, Mum declared.
Its just a sprain. Im a doctor. Bring some icequickly, he instructed.
Mum didnt argue, hurrying to the kitchen and returning with a frozen chicken wrapped in plastic.
Hold that to your ankle. The man straightened and reached for the front door.
Youre leaving? Emily asked, suddenly anxious.
Im just popping to the car. Ive got a bandage, and Ill bring your bag, he replied, disappearing.
Did you really leave your bag in his car? Emily, who is he? Mum perched beside her, holding the chicken to her bruised ankle.
Emily recoiled at the cold, taking a shaky breath. He flew round the corner, I slipped and fell. He carried me home. Thats all I know.
Maybe hes a thief? He might drive off with your bageven your card and house keys are in there! Should I ring the policebefore he gets too far? Mum whispered.
Dont be ridiculous, Mum. If he wanted to mug me, hed have left me outside. He brought me up here.
Im not so sure, Mum said doubtfully.
At that moment, the intercom buzzed.
Thatll be him. Mum, please let him in, Emily asked.
He walked in, scrutinising both Emily and her mum, then set her bag down on the cabinet.
Check everythings there, if you like, he said, slipping off his coat and kneeling on it.
This will hurt. I need to pop your ankle back in. Hold the chair for supportitll help.
He cupped her foot, gently bending it. Emily moaned, biting her lip.
Somethings burning, he said with a glance at Mum.
She dashed into the kitchen.
Then, in one swift movement, pain exploded through Emilys ankleso sharp her vision dimmed. The jolt shot up her spine.
Stay calm. The worst is over, the man said quietly.
Mum reappeared, rooted to the spot, watching Emily cry.
I turned the oven off, nothings burning she started, but the man interrupted.
The sprains gone back in. It’ll hurt for a few days, but dont walk on it, he said, gently setting Emilys foot down, standing and pulling on his coat.
Thank you. Im sorry for what I thought about you, Mum said, flustered. Wont you stay? Its almost midnightyou wont make it back for the chimes. Everythings ready.
He hesitated.
All right, if Im not imposing.
Of course not. You can help open the fizz!
Mum! Emily protested.
What? Ill get the roast outyou, young man, take Emily to the living room, Mum instructed.
With his arm for balance, Emily hobbled to the sofa. She tested her toe. It hurt, but was bearable. Still, she enjoyed having his arm around her, feeling his hand at her waist.
Thank you, she said, sitting and stretching her leg.
No need. I caused your accident, after all, he replied.
No you didnt. I jumped aside. Whats your name?
Andrew. Shall we be on first name terms?
Yes. Are you really a doctor?
A surgeon. I was only popping into the shop for something Andrew paused, settling onto the sofa.
Your wifes probably waiting for you.
She left six months ago. She got tired of me always being called to workeven weekends and holidays. She left with our daughter, moved in with her mum.
I must look a mess, Emily said, embarrassed.
Quite the opposite.
So the three of us saw in the New Year together. And you know what they sayhow you greet it, thats how youll spend it.
When Andrew left, Mum and I went to bed. I couldnt sleep. I could still feel Andrews hand on my waist, replay how hed carried me in. Even now, his touch sent a shiver down my spine. Could anyone forget that?
By morning, I could actually put some weight on my foot, though the swelling had worsened and the bandage was tight. But at least I could walk.
My heart leapt when Andrew called in again. He removed the bandage, inspected my ankle, then re-wrapped it.
All fine. Can you walk?
We agreed on first names yesterday. Yes, I can, Emily grinned.
Tea? Mum offered.
Next time, Im due on shift, he replied.
Will you call again? Emily blurted.
He smiled.
Two months later, Emily moved in with him.
Hes not even divorced. What if his wife comes back? Mum fretted as Emily packed.
She wont. Andrew says shes got someone else.
I just hope youre not rushing into this.
It turned out to be a wonderful year. Emily was jealous when he saw his daughterafter all, he still met his wife. Emily had seen her photo; she was stunning.
Living with him, Emily began to understand his wife. He was always called into the hospitalnights, weekends, holidays. And there were plenty of young nurses about. It was impossible not to fall for him. Still, when he was home, Emily glowed with happiness.
A year passed. Despite everything, it had been a happy one. Andrew still hadnt divorced his wife, the only real cloud over Emily. Mum never let up, always advising Emily to get things clear. But Emily delayed.
On the 31st December, she was busy in the kitchen. The Christmas tree sparkled in the living room, and a new dress lay waiting on the bed. She checked the roast and heard a phone ring. When she entered the room, Andrew was at the window, talking quietly.
Right, Ill come over now, he said, turning to her.
Back to A&E again? Emily asked, voice shaky.
No. My wife rang. Said our daughters crying, wont settle without me. Ill pop round and then come back.
Andrew, its less than three hours till midnight. Emilys voice quivered.
Ill be quick, dont worry. Ill tuck her in and be right back. Might as well drop off her gift too. I wont be long. He kissed her cheek and left.
Emily told herself not to be jealous, not to fret, but it was no good. She finished laying the table, dressed for the evening. Midnight crept ever closer, but Andrew didnt return. She didnt callhe might be driving just sent a message, which went unanswered.
Unable to bear the waiting or the unknown, Emily surveyed the festive table in disappointment and blew out the candles. Now, more than ever, she understood his wife. What if Mum was right, and his wife wanted him back? What would she do then? She loved Andrew.
She couldnt stand listening out for him any longer. Emily remembered the elderly lady on the ground floor. She lived alone; Andrew had said shed never married, never had children. Emily was alone too, now. Spending New Year alone just felt wrong. She filled two containers, one with salad, one with cake, and went downstairs.
The old lady was slow to answer the door. Emily stumbled over her words, explaining why shed come. Eventually, the lock clicked and the old lady peered at her.
I brought you some salad and cake. I baked them myself. Hope you dont mind me sharing?
Come in, said the old lady.
She was tiny and frail, but her flat was clean and warm. No Christmas tree, no special meal, just a little telly murmuring in the background.
There you are, said Emily, setting the food down.
Thank you, dear. Sit. Ill pop the kettle on, the old lady said, shuffling away.
Do you live with Andrew Lawrence? she asked over tea.
Yes.
The old lady nodded, seeming to approve.
His wife never said hello, never noticed anyone. Did nothing but think of herself, never worked. Youre not like that. Did they call him back to the hospital?
Hes gone to see his daughter.
Again, a nod.
Hell come back. Dont worry. Hes a good sort, trustworthy.
Are you on your own? Emily asked.
All my life. Shouldve had kidsno use thinking about that now. I loved a lad once. My best friend stole him.
What do you mean?
Left school, went to nursing college in London. My Tom stayed in the village. I went to see him for New Years that first winter. But the coach broke downflat tyre. Getting dark, no mobiles back then. The driver went for help, and the rest of us waited. But New Year was close.
I set off walking, thought Id get there quicker that way. It started snowing, then a biting wind picked up. Proper blizzard. But Id come so far, no use turning back. I figured the coach would catch up. I spent New Years on that snowy roadside.
When I reached his house, my face and fingers were frostbittennot a terribly cold night, but the wind cut right through. Four days I lay delirious with fever. When I finally woke, my friend told me Tom was hers nowshe said she was pregnant by him.
He tried to explain, but I was young, proud. Sent him away, I did. Never saw him again. Never got over him, though. Years later, I learnt my friend liedthe baby wasnt his. My Tom turned to drink, froze to death outside his house one winter. He was a good lad. The old lady wiped her tears.
So I never married. Loved only him. I shouldve forgiven. My life wouldve been different if I had. Forgive him if you love him. Dont be jealous. Or, better still, go somewhere new together. Shell only make your life miserable. Dont repeat my mistake. Listen to your heart.
Emily went back, cleared the table and packed everything away. Andrew didnt come home until New Years Day.
Sorry. Ive no idea what happened. I think she drugged my tea. Ive only just woken up with the worst headache.
Why havent you divorced her? Do you still love her?
No. Not in the slightest. If you knew her, you wouldnt ask. I love my daughter. Emily, I know youve been waiting, your minds been spinning all sorts of ideas. Nothing happened. Do you believe me?
Emily went to him, hugged him, looked into his eyes.
Lets leave. Anywhere. Hospitals are everywhere. Youre a great surgeon
I cant talk about it right now. My heads pounding. Well chat later, all right? I do love you, Emily.
He fell asleep, and Emily watched him, remembering the old ladys words.
His daughters still little. Shell forget soon enough. Theyve not lived together for half a year. The wife plotted all thisI bet she just wants me to give up. Let her plot. Ill fight for him. When he wakes, well talk. We have to
Emily switched off the Christmas lights, curling up next to Andrew.
To say I love you doesnt quite cover it. But I do, Andrew. I really do.
Annie Hall: “When you love someone you can forgive anything except when they stop loving you.”
