Blatant Nerve: “Nat, tell me honestly,” Kieran whined, “What’s the cosmic difference who we rent the cottage to—family or strangers? Money’s money.” Natasha finished hanging the laundry on the rack. If only he’d help instead of moaning. “Kol, darling, the difference is that when it comes to family, you can never actually get the money out of them.” “You mean Dave? That’s not fair—he’s my brother! He’ll pay, I promise. He’s not even asking for a discount. He’ll take it for the full price, all summer long, and we won’t have to deal with advertising.” “This is a seaside cottage, Kol. I could fill it in five minutes.” “What I don’t get is why you’re so dead against renting to family?” “With strangers it’s simple: contract, deposit—don’t pay, you’re out, end of. With family it’s always, ‘Oh Natasha, you know the kids… We’ll wire it later… Oops, we broke the telly but you won’t charge us, will you?’ Trust me, I’ve seen it all before. You don’t know how it ends.” Natasha’s parents had let to all the so-called friends and family who happily ‘forgot’ to pay. She’d learned her lesson: no mates or relatives in the rental. “And how did it end?” her husband asked. “With family never paying, or even apologizing! As if, ‘What, it’s so hard to let us have a little holiday?’ Sorry, but the cottage is a business, not a free family B&B.” Recently, Dave had decided a summer by the sea was just what the doctor ordered for his wife and three kids. Work was slow, so why not? Natasha was sure he had no intention to pay. “Dave’s not asking for a favour!” Kieran insisted. “He’ll pay.” They always promise to pay. “Why even risk it? There’s always a queue of people ready to pay the market rate. They’ll sign the contract and I can sleep easy. No friends, no family. Business is business.” Natasha’s logic was airtight, but Kieran had one more card to play. “Fine. You don’t trust Dave—but you trust me, yeah?” She paused. “I do. So?” “If Dave tries to stiff us, I’ll pay you the rent myself,” he blurted. “Brilliant. You’ll pay me from our joint account.” “Um… no, I’ll take an extra job. Evenings, weekends—whatever I earn goes to you, so it’ll be your money, not ours. Deal?” Natasha hadn’t expected it to be this important to him. Maybe she should trust him if he trusted Dave that much… “You’ll talk anyone ‘round,” she said. “It’s all on you then. Alright.” Summer was still months away. Natasha tried to be optimistic. June arrived—and trouble with it. Kieran called Dave every few days, gently nudging about the first month’s rent. Every time, Dave had a reason. “Yeah, Kieran, no worries! Money? Ah, just waiting on a big client, should clear by the end of the month. Sorry, mate, but it’s coming. Don’t stress!” End of June. No money. Natasha gave it a month, no nagging. This was Kieran’s deal. But after another round of stalling, she asked, “Well? Has he paid?” “They haven’t transferred his payment yet. Soon, he promised!” Same old excuse. “Told you—family always have a reason not to pay up,” she sighed. “It’s just bad luck!” Kieran pleaded. “He’s not doing it on purpose. Sometimes you just have to wait!” “Right—until September, when they pack up and say, ‘Thanks for the lovely holiday, we’ll settle up later’?” “Kieran, you promised. Where’s that second job?” He wilted. “Give him a couple more weeks. If nothing comes, I’ll pay—if it means that much to you.” “I didn’t force you to take responsibility. You wanted to. Prove you were right about your brother!” The atmosphere cooled. July, heatwave. Natasha caught Kieran browsing jobs online, but never dialling. “Look at the calendar, Kol. Two-thirds of the summer’s gone, and we’ve seen not a penny.” “It’s just… he still can’t pay. But he will! He promised to give us a bit extra for the inconvenience.” “I don’t believe it. You put your name to it—now it’s your problem.” He mumbled about back pain, none of the jobs were suitable. “Not exactly great ads… I can’t lug boxes with my back.” “Better send your brother to lug boxes, then. You promised. Either look for a job now, or I’ll call Dave and say if I don’t get half the money by Friday, his family’s out by law and I’ll chase what’s owed through court.” Ice-cold sweat. “Don’t call Dave! Everyone’ll look at me like I’m the villain! What would I tell Mum? Suing my own brother? No one will understand.” Dave didn’t want to pay, Kieran didn’t want to keep his word, and now suddenly it was Natasha’s fault. “So much for caring about your own husband! Don’t you mind sending me to work two jobs just to pay you back?” “I never asked, Kieran! You insisted!” “I didn’t know Dave would rip us off!” “I did,” Natasha answered. “Because I’ve seen it before. You just wouldn’t listen.” “I’ve got the message!” He played the martyr. “But you, Natasha, you care more about your precious money than my wellbeing! What if I have a heart attack working extra? Still want your rent?” “I’m not forcing you—I’m just holding to the deal you made.” “FINE! I’ll take another job and pay for Dave—if you care about money more than me! There you go!” The deal crumbled, but Natasha got her way. Kieran did shifts as a courier, shooting wolves’ eyes at her each night. “It’s all because of you,” he muttered once. “All because of me?” “Yes!” “Well, maybe now you’ll understand—you can be generous with my cash, but it’s different shelling out yourself.” Natasha still hoped Dave might find a conscience and pay up himself. Miraculously, he rang—her, not Kieran. Maybe he’d finally transfer the money? “Natasha, I’ve got a small problem…” “I’ve no time for problems, Dave. You owe July and we’re still waiting. It’s Kieran’s problem now, not mine.” “Yeah, Kieran told me! Poor fella. But listen—the car’s broken down and I spent the rent money fixing it. Got to get the family home somehow, but I’ll sort you out… sometime, yeah?” Predictable. Natasha hung up. Kieran saw from her face. “Okay,” he admitted, “I shouldn’t have trusted him so much. But you could cut me some slack! Instead of support you just rub it in…” “Oh, I’m supposed to giggle and say, ‘Never mind, let them have a free holiday while I somehow get by’? You insisted you’d pay!” “Yeah, I did! But I didn’t think you’d let me work myself into exhaustion. Don’t you care about me?” “Does your brother?” “He’s not bad, things just… happened…” “Right. He’s not bad—rips me off, lets you take the blame. But I’m the baddie for demanding what’s mine?” Kieran looked away. Looks like a rocky patch ahead in their marriage.

Boundless Cheek

Well, Emma, just be honest with me, moaned Nick, What real, cosmic difference does it make who we let the cottage to? Family or strangers? The moneys the same pounds.

Emma finished pegging out shirts on the rotary line. Hed be better off helping than whining.

Nicholas, darling, she replied, The point is, with family its nearly impossible to squeeze the rent out of them.

Youre talking about Dan? Thats not nice to hearDans my brother! Hell pay, I guarantee it, a hundred percent. Hes not even asking for a discount. Hell take the cottage at full price! All summer. No messing about trying to find tenants ourselves.

Nick, its a cottage by the sea. I could find tenants in five minutes flat.

Just explainwhys it so important to you to let the place to strangers?

With strangers its easy: contract, deposit, no payment means out they go, and thats that. With family, it becomes, Oh, Em, you know what its like with the kids Well transfer it next week Sorry about the TV, but you wouldnt really charge us for that, would you? Ive seen it too many times. You wouldnt believe how it ends up.

Emma inherited the cottage from her parents, whod done exactly the samelet it out every summer. They lived in Portsmouth, and the seaside let made a tidy little bonus. Emma kept up the tradition, but with a ruleno family, no friends. Shed watched her parents get fleeced by mates more than once.

And how did it end? asked her husband.

With family not only refusing to pay, but acting like we owed them! What, cant you just let us stay? No, thanks. The cottage is business, Nick. Not your familys free B&B.

Recently, Dan decided that three months by the sea was just the doctor ordered for his wife and three kids. Work was quiet in the summer, so why not enjoy himself? Emma had no doubtDan wasnt planning to pay a penny.

Dans not asking to stay for free! pressed Nick. Hell pay.

They always say theyll pay.

Why risk it? The cottage always has a queue of people willing to pay the going rate. They sign, they pay, I sleep well. No. No family, no friends. Business is business.

Emmas logic was hard to argue with, but Nick wasnt ready to quit.

Alright. You dont trust Dan. But you trust me, dont you?

Emma waited.

I do, and so?

Ill pay you for the let if it turns out Dan lets us down, Nick blurted out, ever the hero.

It was a weak argument.

Brilliant. Youll pay me from our joint bank account.

Well… if you say so… Ill pick up extra work, yeah. Evening shifts, weekends, and whatever I earn, its yours alone. Not ours. Just yours. Deal?

Emma hadnt realised how much this meant to Nick. Maybe, if he believed in Dan so much, she just had to trust him too…

You could charm the moon down, you know, she said. Itll be your responsibility, then. Fine.

There was still a long time until summer, so Emma managed to calm herself and even believe in Nicks optimism.

June arrived, and so did trouble. Nick, whod taken to phoning Dan every three days to gently hint about the first months rent, was met with breezy reassurances.

Yeah, yeah, Nick, all sorted! The cash? Oh, Im just waiting for a client to send the final bit. Should be the end of the month. Soon as it comes through, youll have it. Sorry, mate, just how it is. Dont worry!

The end of June crept by.

Still no money.

Emma kept her word for a month. She didnt ask, didnt push, didnt argue. Nick said to leave it to him, so she did. She didnt want to dent his pride, but after another round with his brother on the phone, she finally asked:

Well? Did he pay?

Dans client still hasnt transferred the rest of the payment from his last job. Soon as that lands, he promised!

The excuse was on repeat.

Emma was biting her tongue to keep from saying, Called it.

What did I say? With family, theres always some urgent reason why they cant pay on time.

Em, this is just bad luck! Nick spluttered. Hes not doing it on purpose, I get what it looks like but its just circumstances! It happens. We just need to wait.

Alright, lets wait till September then, shall we? Until they pack their three suitcases and say, Thanks for a lovely time, well phone about the bill, yeah?

Youre not losing out! Ill get a second job.

You? A second job? Right now?

Nick seemed to deflate.

Give him a couple more weeks. If nothing, then… Ill pay you myself, if you need it that badly.

I didnt force you to take responsibility. You were the one desperate to prove your brother was honest. So do it.

The mood in the house chilled, Nick somehow managing to always look slightly bruised in their conversations.

July. The heatwave grew unbearable. Every night Emma noticed Nick browsing job ads on his phone, not ringing a single one.

Nick, todays the 30th. Were two-thirds through summer and havent seen a single pound in rent, she reminded him.

Hes still not sorted the payment But

As soon as, right?

Hell sort it! He promised the moment the money comes in, well be firstmaybe even a bit extra for the inconvenience.

I dont believe it anymore. You vouched for him. You told me: Ill pay. So pay. Wheres the extra job?

It was clear Nicks enthusiasm for extra shifts had evaporated. Making promises is easier than the work itself.

Ill find something. Justthese jobs arent great. Im not lugging sacks in some warehouse, not with my back.

Maybe find the courage to send your brother to haul sacks, then. You promised. Either you find a job now, or I ring Dan and say if I dont see at least half the rent by Friday, they can pack up and Ill chase the debt through Small Claims.

A chill swept over Nick.

Dont call Dan! The courts? What would the family think? What do I say to Mum? Suing my brother, Emma, nobody will understand.

Dan didnt want to pay. Nick didnt want to stand by his word, but nor did he want a row or a court summons. Andquite suddenlyit seemed he decided Emma was the one at fault.

Do you care about me at all, Em? Not a jot? Couldnt care less that Ill be breaking my back in double shifts to pay you. My own wife, whod rather have the cash than a healthy husband! Suppose I have a heart attack? Will you still force me into extra work then?

Im not making you do anything, Nick! Im just asking you to keep the promise YOU made.

Fine! Nick barked. Ill slog away and cover Dan, if a few lousy pounds mean that much. Done!

His deal failed under his own rules, but Emma got what shed been afterhe went out in the evenings as a delivery driver, coming home with a wolfish glare.

All your fault he grumbled once.

My fault?

Yes!

Maybe this way youll understand, Emma replied. Easy to look generous at someone elses expense. Now youre paying for your brother, you might actually learn something.

Emma had hopedjust a littlethat Dan might have a pang of conscience and pay up, even at the end. And then, just as she had the thought, Dan himself rang. Surprising enoughhe called Emma, not Nick.

Could she have judged him wrong? Was he finally sending the money?

Emma, quick one

I havent got time. You were supposed to pay for August already, and Julys still unresolved. Its not my problem, its Nickshe promised on your behalf.

Yeah, Nick told me! Poor bloke, honestly. But look, bit of an issueIve had to drop a wad fixing the car this week, and I need to get everyone home. The rentIll sort it later

Predictable.

Emma ended the call.

Nick saw the look on her face and understood.

Alright, he admitted. I shouldnt have trusted him like that. But youhonestly, you never let me make a mistake! Instead of support, you just finish me off.

So what was I meant to do? asked Emma. Smile and say, Never mind, Nick, let them holiday for free and Ill just get over it? You insisted youd pay!

I did, he muttered, sulking. Didnt know youd be so happy to see me wear myself out. Dont you care?

Does your brother care about you?

Hes not a bad bloke, just it turned out this way.

Of course. Hes not bad while stiffing me and putting you in the mire, but Im supposed to be the villain because I want what Im owed?

Nick fell silent.

It seemed to Emma that their marriage had sailed into rather rocky waters.