Mum, your son is a grown man!
Thats exactly what I said to my mother-in-law, because for the hundredth time, she asked her son what sort of pants he was wearing. And by the way, he turned thirty just last week. She monitors his every move, as though Im invisible, utterly dismissing me.
I cannot fathom just how she manages to control every facet of her sons life, but Ive had enough. Its reached a point where my husband will consider leaving his job, simply because his mother doesnt approve of the company he works for. And when hes looking for work, she slips him a wad of pounds from her thick purse. Shes well-to-do, no doubt, but I refuse to live with a healthy, capable man at other peoples expense.
Not long ago, we were getting ready for a wedding. My husband bought himself a new suit nothing flashy, but smart and sensibly priced. The moment his mother saw it, she was furious it wasnt a designer label. She pressed some cash into his hand and sent him out to replace it.
And then theres the flat. Recently, she gave us one or so it seems. The deed, of course, is in her name. Not that it truly bothers me, but she insists on decorating every room as she likes. How am I meant to feel at home when Im not even allowed to choose the toilet seat?
On the one hand, I suppose we should be grateful. But truthfully, it feels like shes shoving her status in our faces. She does everything for her darling boy, and he seems perfectly content with it never once a word of protest to her.
A few weeks ago, my mother came from the countryside to visit. Shed planned to stay with us in the city. But when my husband saw her step through the door, he said, Lets get Mum a cup of tea, and then well run her over to Aunt Margarets in a cab.
It turned out my mother-in-law insisted he keep my mum away from me, in case she was a bad influence. My mother has plenty of relatives around, true, but shed come here for me, and it was in my home she should stay.
Do you know what I did? I packed my things, took my mum by the arm, and we left together. I dont regret it one bit. For once, I stopped bowing and scraping.
Never tie yourself to a man whos still his mothers little boy. Its never worth it.
