My husbands parents simply wont settle down and keep trying to reconcile him with his ex-wife. Dont you understand? They have a child together! my mother-in-law complains.
Im the wife of a man whose parents havent accepted for years that their son has been divorcedeven though its been over four years now. Theyre forever making attempts to bring him and his ex back together. He and I got married three years ago, and weve built a happy life.
My mother-in-law insists her son was reckless and foolish, and shes determined he should do everything possible to rebuild ties with his former in-laws. After all, his son still lives with them.
When I first met Adam, he was already divorced. Apparently, it was mutual. His ex-wife had already remarried quite happily, in fact. Most likely, she had fallen for someone else, which caused their split.
Perhaps it was a mistake for us to marry. My own mother pressured us into it, particularly with a child on the way, even though, as Adam admits, he wasnt truly in lovehe was just seeing her at the time. Had she not been pregnant, Id never have married her, Adam once told me.
I was never intimidated by his ex. At the start, I simply wanted to understand him better. I noticed quickly there was no longing for his old familyhe was indifferent toward his ex-wife, and she certainly wasnt interested in him either. She had remarried, and the two only communicated about their son.
But my husbands mother couldnt bear this. Nor could his father. They kept trying to reunite the old family and were thoroughly unimpressed by our relationship.
You’re both young with your whole lives ahead of you. Why tie yourself to someone elses family? my mother-in-law once asked when we were alone.
I told her that if Adam were married, Id never have interfered. But hes free now. She looked like she wanted to argue, but Adam walked in and silenced her. That was when I realised Id never have a warm relationship with my mother-in-lawbut that didnt bother me much.
We married and set up our home together, and I tried to keep my distance from the in-laws except for the occasional family gathering. Each time, though, I had to listen to her grumbling about Adams old family. Adam always tried to shush her; it irritated him just as much. But the cycle would repeat.
We werent in any hurry to have children. I didnt yet see myself as a mother, and Adam already had a son, which seemed to please his mum well enough.
When Adam divorced, his mother threw herself into actioninviting his ex for Christmas, sighing over how wonderful theyd been together, praising her at every turn.
The ex-wife herself couldnt have cared lessshed just turn up, detached from it all. You could sense she was unmoved by the whole charade.
Adams mother would even try to stoke jealousy in both of usringing me up to ask if I knew where Adam was, and if I didnt, leaping to the conclusion he was off with his ex. Sometimes shed even send him to see her. The antics were endless.
Im not jealous. But the entire situation gets on my nerves. Anyone looking at Adam and his ex would see theres nothing between them and never will be. Still, having a child together complicates things. Adam regularly sends money for his son, calls him, and brings him round to our house. His ex doesnt make demands, isnt mercenary, and never restricts contact. If you ask me, she’s perfectly reasonable. They behave like civilised adultswhat happened is in the past, and now they each have their own lives. They’ve managed to be respectful.
But my mother-in-law cant seem to accept it. Shes always scheming, always meddling. When will she get tired of it? Will she ever wise up? Adam hopes itll stop if I give her another grandchild, but somehow, I doubt it.
