Alls Fair in Family and Inheritance
The entire flock of relatives descended upon the house, each one eager as a badger at a biscuit barrel. Officially, it was a family dinner, but anyone could see the real motive was money. Linda, daughter of Nanna Dorothy and mother to Catherine and Arthur, fiddled with a pile of her mothers old hankiesthe very same ones that had been stashing away Dorothys pension for years.
Here we go again, Linda wailed in the general direction of the gathered kin. Gone! Just gone! At least two hundred pounds missing. I cant be wrong, I counted every penny. Where do they go? Mum, do you remember how much was here?
Nanna Dorothy turned, but not to her daughterto the dusty photograph of her late husband atop the mantelpiece.
Oh, Peter how nice, she mused, then, fixing her gaze on her granddaughter Jenny, added, And you, love, dont you dare touch my biscuits. Theyre for guests. Wheres Artie? At school?
Linda folded the twenty-pound notes into one of the handkerchiefs. Of course her mother couldnt remember if thered been ten quid or ten grand. Still, Linda was convincedthe money wasnt vanishing into thin air. Someone must be pilfering! It sounded madafter all, only family ever set foot in this housebut the conviction gnawed at her. Someone was robbing poor old Nanna Dorothy!
In waltzed Arthur, the very grandson Nanna Dorothy had just mentioned.
Whats all this, then? Looks like a wake in here! he exclaimed, tossing his car keys onto the side table.
Linda, ever the dramatic matriarch, dabbed her cheeks. Arthur, darling, disaster! More money gone. I always put her pension in that cabinet, same as always Someone is nicking it!
Arthur gave the room a long, slow lookthe sort that said, I trust no one, especially not you lot.
Money, you say? Gone missing? He narrowed his eyes. Well, I know exactly where its all disappearing to!
With a theatrical sigh, Arthur strode to the hallway and returned with Catherines blue-and-white striped tote. Before Cat could so much as blink, he unzipped it and dumped the contents onto the floral vinyl tableclothwith all the subtlety of a volcano.
A flood of lipstick, keys, a compact mirrorand cash. Wads of it. A small fortune in crumpled notes. Namely, two hundred and fifty pounds, all in twenties.
There! See? cheered Arthur, brandishing a note. Knocked over her bag on the way in, went to pick it up, and out spill good ol twenties! Very, very familiar twenties.
Aunt Gail, halfway through her fourth helping of potato salad, nearly chokedher fork frozen mid-air.
Inspecting the notes, anyone with a magnifying glass could see a faint blue squigglesomeones biro had made its mark.
Remember last month, when mum was counting up and Jack doodled on the notes with his pen? Arthur went on mercilessly. These are those exact notesright from Nannas pension stash!
Every pair of eyes snapped to Catherine.
Cat, until that moment silent as a church mouse, jerked in her seat.
Arthur, what are you doing? she spluttered.
Me? he replied, all innocence. I did nothing except watch your bag spill. And look! There, right under our nosesthe money. Recognisable as your own mums handwriting!
Cat saw her only hope was an outright denial.
Its not me! she cried, leaping up and rattling the cutlery.
Even Nanna Dorothy perked up at the commotion.
Whos making all that racket? she called. Has anyone seen my slippers?
Now everyone looked positively scandalised.
Cathy, darling, Linda stood, hands trembling, how could you? You have a job, love! I help you out. Why would you steal from Nanna Dorothy?
Mum, I swear it wasnt me! I didnt take a thing!
Who else then? Arthur pressed, eyebrow cocked. Only you are always here helping Nanna, as you never fail to remind us. The rest of us barely set foot in the place. Mum? Shed never do such a thing. That leaves you.
Cat stared, backing away as if she expected a lynch mob.
I promise you, I havent touched anything! she half whispered, half wailed.
She searched for a hint of belief on her mothers face, but Linda stared at Cat as if shed grown a second head.
Youre lying, Linda uttered, barely audible. How could you
I love Nanna! Cats eyes brimmed. I came round for her, to help her! I promise I never took the money!
But, as is so often the case in families, circumstances conspired against her. The money had tumbled out of her own bag, no other suspects in sight.
That settles it, then, Arthur declared. What a shame, Cat. Really. You only had to askwed have helped. But stealing from a defenseless nanna No one expected that from you.
That night, Catherine found herself exiled. Her world had spun off its axis. No one listened, no one cared. Even Linda, later, asked the family to be gentlebut
Dont let her come back, Linda, hissed Aunt Gail down the line. Imagine the scandal! Nanna might not remember, but if she could? Shed be mortified to see what Cats become
Linda conceded. She barely spoke to her own daughter now. When Cat rang, Lindas replies were curt: Busy. Later. Not now.
Cat tried to plead her case. She rang everyone from different numbers, but as soon as anyone realised it was her, the phone fell silent. Her own tender investigation ended in disaster, as no one would so much as speak to her, and visits to Nannas flat were off limits.
At last, she managed to waylay her mum.
Mum, please, Cat all but begged, I know it sounds far-fetched but I swear to you, I didnt do it! Why wont you believe me?
Lindas face scrunched with grief. Cat, I wish it wasnt true. But the money was in your bag. Lets not talk about it again. If only Id seen it alone, maybe wed have moved on, but now the family just wont let go I feel awful. Nanna did so much for you.
But Im innocent! Maybe it fell in by accident, maybe it was someone elses bagmaybe
Enough! Linda snapped. Youre my daughter and I want to believe youbut the facts! The facts say youre a thief!
And with that final accusation, Linda hurried off, leaving Catherine alone, shivering in the cold.
They didnt even let her say goodbye to Nanna Dorothy.
Eventually, once the family drama had finally simmered down and everyone scurried back to their own corners of England, Catherine decided to chance it with a visit to Nannas flat, hoping perhaps Linda was in. Linda, though prickly, would sometimes answer the door and, if the stars aligned, some kind of conversation might happen.
But it was Arthur who greeted her.
He was tallCat had to crane her neck to see the mischief in his eyes. Maybe him, especially, was what she needed.
Arthur, Cat pleaded, just one chat. Please. One last time.
He tutted, smirking. Still trying to clear your sparkling reputation? Theres no saving it now, sis. Best just fess up, maybe theyll forgive you.
Catherine, however, wasnt about to confess to a crime she hadnt committed.
No. I want the truth. Maybe you made a mistakemaybe the notes came from somewhere else, or you mixed up the bags. Please, just think
Suddenly, Arthurs face grew cold.
Mistake? Cat, are you really that gullible? He bent closer, voice dropping. Of course I know you didnt take em. I planted the money in your bag myself.
The world went fuzzy around Cats ears.
What? It was all she could stammer.
Thats right, he shrugged.
But why would you
Easy. Had to get rid of some competition.
Competition? Cat was staggered. What are you on about?
Oh, come on, sis, he sneered. Alls fair in love, war, and inheritance. Nanna barely had six months left. The flat had been signed over to mum so there wouldnt be any legal wrangling. And that put me in a sticky spot. Mum, as you well know, is soft. She was set to give the flat to you.
But why?
He rolled his eyes. You, miss goody-two-shoes, came round every evening. Feeding Nanna, scrubbing the loo, reading stories she didnt even follow. Sweetest granddaughter ever. Mum saw that and melted. Thought you were the deserving one And whatjust because I dont like reading bedtime stories, Im not a proper grandson? Not fair, is it? So, I decided to do a little family chess.
I never did it for the flat! Cat exploded, mortally wounded now hed said it out loud. I did it for Nanna! I love her!
Arthur snorted. Save it, Cat. None of us are saints. You wanted to be the golden girl, but I outfoxed you. Score one all.
Catherine was speechless.
Arthur grinned, raising an imaginary glass to his own brilliance.
So now, youre the thieving daughter, and Im the golden boy. Mum could never turn away from her darling son. And Nannas flat, as you might guess, is mine. You cant even walk through the door without a full-blown showdown.
You absolute Cat bit her tongue before she could finish.
Quite so. Well, cheers, sisthanks for playing. The inheritance is secured.
He swung open the front door.
Cat stood there, rooted. The flat would have been a lifesaverrents an arm and a leg, and buying anything was out of question. But truthfully, it wasnt about the flat. She loved Nanna Dorothy. She remembered how, not long ago, even in a foggy daze, Nanna had stroked her cheek and whispered, Thank you for coming, love. Youre just like my Peter.
Now, if she wanted her good name back, shed have to prove Arthurs plotting. But how?
No way.
She trudged down the path, shutting the door behind her. She knew that in a year, no one would remember she wasnt always a villain. Theyd all recall just one fact: Catherine stole from her dying grandmother.
Arthur had already won. And by the sound of it, he was already celebrating.
