And I also realised that my mother-in-law isnt quite the old battle-axe Id always thought she was.
The morning of the 30th December was nearly indistinguishable from all the others over the twelve years David and I have lived together. Everything was as usual: he was off hunting again at the crack of dawn, not to return until midday on the 31st. Our son was staying with my mum, so I found myself, once more, completely alone at home.
After all these years, Id grown used to it. David, an avid fisherman and hunter, spends every weekend and holiday tramping through the countryside, regardless of how miserable the weather might be, while I wait at home for his return. But for some reason, today a heavy sort of sadness had settled over me, and the silence in the house felt much louder than normal.
On days like these, I usually busied myself with tidying up, baking, or whatever bits of housework needed doing. New Years is tomorrow, and as always, well see it in at Davids mums house, just as weve done every year for the last twelve. Nothing ever changes. But today, I couldnt muster the energy for anything at all. Everything seemed to slip through my fingers.
So, when my phone rang, it was a welcome distraction. It was my best friend from school, Emma, never one for moping around. Shes divorced and seems to always have people round at hers. Without even asking, she said, On your own again, are you? David off in the woods, I bet. Come over this evening, Im having a few friends round no point stewing at home by yourself.
At the time, I didnt commit to anything and certainly wasnt planning to go out. But as evening set in, the loneliness turned to real melancholy. I found myself brooding, feeling indignant that David wasnt home even though he never is, and Id never complained before.
All these years, all I really had was the house, work, and our son. We never went anywhere. David detested social gatherings, always preferring his fishing and hunting, and I hated going by myself. Thats why we never took holidays wed just go to my mums cottage in the country. I appreciated that David got along well with my mum, but I wanted more: to see the seaside, maybe venture abroad, experience a bit of the world.
That evening, I thought why not go out for a change, at least be with people for once? So I went round to Emmas. The company was wonderful a bunch of our old school friends and I had a lovely evening.
And then, the unthinkable: there was Greg, my first crush back in secondary school. Somehow, after a few laughs and reminiscing over wine, one thing led to another and we ended up spending the night together. I honestly cant explain how it happened; it all swept me away. I hardly even drank much, but the nostalgia flooded over and overpowered me.
Morning brought nothing but shame and awkwardness. I wanted to forget the entire episode, and practically bolted from Gregs flat.
The biggest shock came when I walked through my own front door: Davids coat was hanging by the stairs. Hed returned early.
I nearly collapsed with fear. What if hed discovered I hadnt slept at home? I instantly pictured the inevitable row, David storming off for good. I knew and so did he that neither of us would forgive such a thing.
I berated myself endlessly how could I have risked my family for one night of stupidity? I loved David, and yet Id made an unthinkable mistake. My thoughts were interrupted by the home phone ringing.
It was my mother-in-law. Look, I dont know whats going on with you two, but David called in the middle of the night. You werent answering. I told him you were over at Aunt Kathys she wasnt feeling well and youd stayed to look after her. Dont let me down, love
Of all people, I never expected help from Margaret. Our relationship was always a bit odd: no shouting matches, but she never exactly warmed to me either. Shed opposed our wedding from the start, thinking we were too young, and after the ceremony, living under her roof for those first years, my nerves were constantly frayed. Once we finally moved out, communication dropped to just the family gatherings, and we kept a polite distance. But now, I felt nothing but gratitude whatever happened next, at least David didnt know where Id really been.
That evening, David and I went round to his mums for New Years. While we were alone in the kitchen, I plucked up my courage and confessed, or at least tried to thank her for intervening. Margaret just waved me off.
Oh, dont start, she said, slicing carrots. What, you think Im made of stone? You reckon I dont know what its like to be married to someone whos always off somewhere? My Peter she nodded toward her husband has spent his whole life traipsing through the forests and fields. Dyou think I never felt hurt? Just dont make this a habit, all right? You know what I mean.
I absolutely did know. And in that moment, I realised that Margaret understood much more than Id ever given her credit for and she wasnt nearly as bad as Id imagined. So that little episode, in the end, turned out all right. And I decided, without David by my side, I wouldnt so much as set a foot out of the house again.
