You never loved him, but we were happy together; shall we try again, just once more?
We parted ways three years ago, the divorce was quiet, without much bitterness. As wed written in our statementwe simply had irreconcilable differences. At first, our daughter assumed it was just a row, that her father was gone on a trip and would soon return.
On weekends, she and Edward had a marvelous time, meeting up for little adventures. When they came home in the evenings, we all sat down to supper together, and then Edward would leave. Emily always took her time over goodbyes, standing at the window to watch her father go.
Just last week, my daughter turned six. Over the past year, she and Edward hadn’t seen each other as often. There were two reasons for it: Edward had found someone new and couldnt spend every weekend with Emily, and I too had met someoneCharles. We unexpectedly crossed paths on a ramble through Ashdown Forest nature reserve. Emily and I lagged behind the walking group, and Charles, too, lost track of where he was, drifting apart from the others. When we finally regrouped with the guide, conversation came easy, phone numbers were exchanged, and we wandered onwards.
Compared to Edward, Charles was the quiet sort, but he possessed a certain reliability. He never made idle promises. In all our acquaintance, he never forgot a detail or turned up late. Anything Charles pledged, he followed through. With Edward, these things were always difficult, probably why we parted ways in the endhis lack of commitment made for strain and misunderstandings.
Both Edward and Charles were to come to Emilys birthday tea. I fretted over how theyd get along, and what the atmosphere might be. Of course, Emily was waiting for her father, though shed warmed to Charles.
Our guests arrived on the dot, except for Edward, who was late. Emily begged to wait for her dad; I had to fill the silent patch with anecdotes and harmless gossip.
At last, her father arrivedwith a grand parcel for Emilys present, and a vast bunch of flowers for me. I felt a bit awkward. Charles introduced himself, but Edward, as if the three years hadnt happened, fell naturally into the role of host. He seated guests, orchestrated the pouring of tea, generally carried on as if nothing had changed from bygone times.
Emily stuck to her father like glue, while Charles, taking it all in, was clearly out of his element, though I did my best to pay him due attention.
Regardless, after a while Charles excused himself, claiming urgent work, and went home.
After hed left, Edward became even more at ease. When we slipped into the kitchen to fetch cake, I asked him to settle down a bit. Then, out of nowhere, my ex-husband declared:
You dont love him. You and I had something goodshall we give it another go?
I was flustered, but replied
No, darling, I dont want that. We simply arent right for each other. Were joined only by Emily, and thats how it will stay. Im grateful for how you care for her, and that she looks forward to seeing you, but Im not waiting for younot after your new relationship.
Thats different, he said, thats nothing serious, just a passing fancyI could never spend my life with her
All the more reason you should look for someone you truly want to share your life with, not just
The party began to wind down. Edward was last to leave, helping me wash up in the kitchen, tucking Emily up in bed, clinging to the hope that I might ask him to stay the night. When he realised that invitation wasnt coming, he didnt sour the eveningjust thanked me for the talk, kissed me on the cheek, and said goodbye.
I called Charles and asked if hed like to go on a picnic with us the next day. Charles was instantly delighted, promising to set everything asidehed pick Emily and me up at nine oclock sharp.
And so, at nine on the dot, the bell rang. Emily shouted, Hurrah! More birthday celebrations! The three of us spent a blissful day out in the fresh air.
When we returned home, I asked my daughter:
Emily, would you mind if Charles came to live with us?
She looked at me, all seriousness, and said,
You always wait for him anyway And this way, youll get to see him every day.I smiled, sudden tears pricking my eyesof relief, of gratitude, of hope unfamiliar and soft. Emily took my hand and led me towards where Charles was unloading the picnic basket, humming to himself, calm and unhurried as always.
I realized then that happiness was not grand gestures, nor longing for what once wasit was this gentle continuity, this quiet choosing of each other, day after day. It was how Charles always showed up, how Emily watched for the faces she loved, and how even Edward, in his own way, wished us well by letting go.
As evening settled, Charles tucked a wildflower behind Emilys ear and handed me another. We watched the world go gold outside the window together, three faces close and glowing.
From somewhere deep inside, I felt the peace of acceptancetomorrow would come, uncertain and promising. For tonight, the three of us held hands, and that was enough.
