My mum gave me my grandmothers ring. It wasnt one of those charming vintage rings, but rather a clunky, unattractive pieceif you could even call it a designand it was far too big for me. I never would have worn it. Since my mum said it was mine, I figured I could do with it whatever I pleased. So I went down to the jeweller and, after paying a bit extra, swapped it for a modern piece I genuinely liked.
Excited about my new purchase, I called my mum to tell her. She completely lost the plot.
How could you do that? she demanded. How could you get rid of your grandmothers ring without asking me? Its not just jewelleryits a family heirloom. Its a memory!
I tried to explain that since shed given it to me, I had the right to choose what I did with it, but she wouldnt hear of it. She just wouldnt listen and soon enough, we ended the call quite abruptly. After a while, she rang again, but I was still too angry to pick up, so she sent me a text instead. Turns out the ring wasnt supposed to be an actual present, but something entrusted to me for safekeepingI wasnt allowed to do anything with it. Whats the point? Its a pretty awkward situation. I really think its strange the way my mum went about things. I mean, either you give something to someone or you dont. My grandmother is still alive, by the way, and relations between her, my mum, and me are rather tense. I do question what sort of ‘keepsake’ this is meant to be.
I came across this story just yesterday in my Facebook feed, and it gripped me so much I decided to talk about it. Personally, I could never imagine parting with a ‘family heirloom’ like that, even if its more run-of-the-mill than a jewellers masterpiece. Its part of our family history, regardless of whether anyone actually wears it. Pieces like that are rare these days. Future generations will be curious about the kind of jewellery their ancestors wore. Who knows what will be fashionable down the line? Trends are always circling back. For a daughter, it becomes a memory of her mum when shes goneand of her granny, too.
Yet heres this girl trading it in for something trendy. Nevermind the quality of modern gold. At the very least, you could ask a jeweller to redesign the original. That way, you keep the memory alive while getting something youll actually wear. It would still be passed down through the family, still keeping its story.
Or, of course, you could just buy new jewellery and leave the old ring alone.
As for me, Im entirely on the mothers side and I understand her outrage. Surely she didnt expect her daughter to miss the pointthat this ring stood for memories, that its a kind of gift ones meant to treasure. Even with ordinary presents, its not exactly civil to sell or give them away, let alone your grandmothers ring.
On the other hand, perhaps we should try to see it from the daughters perspective. Maybe she just isnt the sentimental type. Some people prefer things they can use, not things meant to gather dust. There are loads of family keepsakes gathering on the bric-a-brac stalls at car boot sales, waiting to be discarded. Maybe its better to live in the moment, not bogged down with family tales. If she simply doesnt need reminders, can you blame her? Looks like her mum never really took the time to teach her those simple truths.
