You should have refurbished my flat instead of wasting money on a holiday!
My mother-in-law has been rather cross with us because we decided to go on a summer holiday instead of paying for her home to be redecorated. Her flat is perfectly nice, in excellent conditionthe renovation would be entirely for her own pleasure. She seems to think were her personal sponsors, although shes perfectly capable of paying for it herself.
My husband and I are careful with money. We are still paying off our mortgage and raising two children, both in secondary school. Throughout our marriage, this is the very first time weve managed a proper holiday.
Previously, our breaks were limited to walks in the woods or a weekend in a friends cottage by some local lake. The children had never been abroad, so this year we decided to save up for a trip to Italy. It took a bit of belt-tightening, but it was absolutely worth it.
When we married, my mother-in-law made it clear she wouldnt be babysitting her grandchildren. I respected this and never asked for help. So, whenever both my husband and I needed to work over holidays and weekends, the kids would stay at my parent’s place. I never judged her for itits a lot raising two children, and shed earned her retirement.
Shes really quite busy in her retirementjoined a swimming group, often goes to exhibitions and outings. Her life is rather full and active. The only trouble is her finances. She expects her children to bank-roll her every desire, even if that means we have to make sacrifices at home. Mortgages, loans, childrens needsit doesnt matter; helping Mum is her only concern.
To make things worse, each weekend shed give my husband a laundry list of things to fix or do at her place. But this year, she truly lost all senseshe wanted her entire flat redecorated, though it had only been refurbished five years ago and still looked lovely and modern.
She had no idea we were heading off to Italy. Frankly, we hadnt intended to tell her; we just locked up and left.
Unfortunately, while we were away, she popped round and, finding the door locked, rang my husband. He told her we were on holiday in Italy. She hung up, fuming, and when we returned, there was a storm waiting for us.
You should have warned me. And anyway, where did you get the money? You ought to be paying for my redecorating, not gallivanting on holiday.
Usually, my husband bites his tongue around his mother, but not this time. He calmly told her that our money was none of her business.
Since then, my mother-in-law hasnt spoken to us. She wont even ring her grandchildren. Instead, various relatives have called to say how awful we are. Yet my husband and I dont feel guilty in the slightest. My parents stand by us. We must enjoy such moments while were still young, especially since my mother-in-law expected money for her whim, not any real necessity.
Sometimes family expects more than is fair. Its important to remember that looking after your own happiness is not selfish, and supporting your family should never mean sacrificing your well-being for someone elses comfort.
