Didnt Want To, But Did
Amanda never could quite master smoking. Yet shed convinced herself it helped to settle her nerves. She stood in her grandmothers old front garden, scanning the quiet village street. Her thoughts were a tangled mess brooding, anxious, weighed down by the burdens life had recently dumped on her.
She was alone in the cottage her late grandmother left behind. Her parents lived in a hamlet seven miles away. Amanda had chosen this solitude she was twenty-three now and wanted independence. She worked at the village post office.
Unable to finish the cigarette, Amanda stubbed it out and tossed it away, a grimace crossing her face.
I dont even like smoking, she mumbled, thinking of how Claire puffed away constantly. She said itd calm me down but I doubt it ever helps.
At that moment, a car rolled past the new village bobby, Tom, freshly transferred from the neighbouring parish. Amandas colleagues had gossiped about him at work. Watching his car disappear, she turned and slipped inside as dusk crept in. Tonight, shed set out on a task that filled her with dread.
The day before, the post office was mostly quiet, though a few locals dropped by.
Tomorrowll be madness, said Mrs. Foster, the senior clerk. All calm before pension day.
Mrs. Foster had worked there since she was young, so long most villagers couldnt recall her ever doing anything else. Thirty years at the post, everyone knows me. I cant imagine working anywhere else.
Youre the backbone, Mrs. Foster, laughed young Claire. Mum always said the post office would fall apart without you.
Oh, Im not irreplaceable. Someone would take over. Ill retire one day Mrs. Foster smiled.
Hello, said Marina, barrel-shaped and forty-two, as she sweltered in the heat. Just popped in my neighbour, old Ethel, begged me to renew her magazine subscription. Loves her magazines. Were off to the coast first thing tomorrow all the way to Spain! She worries shell run out of things to read while were away. Can’t walk anymore, says reading makes the days go quicker.
Spain! You brave thing, Mrs. Foster replied. Youll bask in the sun, I bet, she added, her tone suggesting recent travels.
Not scared. Ill post photos online as soon as we arrive. Bought a new swimming costume! Marina grinned and departed.
How much does it cost to take a whole family to Spain? Claire rolled her eyes.
They do all right for themselves, Mrs. Foster said knowingly. Her husband runs a farm.
Amanda sat in silence, gazing at the computer screen, listening intently, lost in thought.
Not long after, Officer Tom strode in, all cheerful greetings.
Afternoon. There should be a parcel notice for me he said to Claire, but stopped mid-sentence catching sight of Amanda.
Didnt know you had such pretty ladies working here though shes so sad.
Mrs. Foster followed Toms gaze. Ah, Amanda. She buried her fiancé not long ago.
I see, Tom said softly. Claire told him nothing had arrived.
Just three weeks before, Amandas fiancé, David, had been found dead near the town centre. Rumoured to gamble in shady clubs something Amanda had never known. Police found nothing, but one late evening, two rough young men from town arrived at Amandas door. She remembered seeing David with their crew before.
Your fiancé owes us a hefty sum.
But hes gone, Amanda stammered nervously.
Debts outlive the man. Youll have to pay. One of them Luke named an eye-watering price: three thousand pounds.
Where am I meant to find that?
Not our problem. Theres money in this village. Think about it.
I dont know whos well-off
Dont lie. Youre at the post office, you know everyones business. Well be back in two weeks for the money. Go to the police and you wont survive. Here these picks will open any lock, Luke sneered.
They left. Amanda bolted the door, blood pounding in her ears. The house was silent, darkness pressing against the windows. After a day and a sleepless night, Amanda resolved to break into Marinas house. The family had left for holiday. No dog in the yard only closed gates, easily climbed.
Breaking in felt unreal. But as Luke had said, the pick opened the door. Her heart thudded: she was on the wrong side of the law now, like those thugs who forced her into this.
Amanda searched frantically for cash, moonlight spilling through the blinds. Dear God, what am I doing? she thought, trembling. You got yourself killed, David. And now I have to clean up your mess with crime?
She knew she ought to involve the police, but terror held her Luke was ruthless, hed find her. She unearthed just £150, plus Marinas gold ring and bracelet from the dresser. A laptop lay on the table; she slipped that into her bag too.
She crept away as quietly as shed arrived, scanning each shadow. No lights in neighbouring houses, only a few lazy dogs barking. No one saw her. Amandas nerves jangled.
Back home, Amanda stuffed the bag into her grandmothers old chest at the back of the pantry, under piles of faded lace and coats. She didnt sleep that night. The next morning, she trudged to work with a pounding headache. Around noon, she darted out for lunch at the village café.
Morning, Officer Tom appeared she jolted, he smiled. Dont worry, just grabbing a bite myself.
Morning, she replied, mind racing did he know? Was he here for her?
Thats right, waiting for you, Tom quipped.
She saw his sparkling eyes, took comfort: he was teasing. From that day, they lunched together, sometimes he met her after work and walked her home, eventually staying over.
Rumours swirled across the village.
Amanda nabbed the new bobby, clever girl, muttered Tamara, annoyed. My Tanya fancied him, blinked and Amanda swooped in
Oh, hush. Anyone can see hes smitten, another replied.
It was true their feelings were genuine, burning bright. Some villagers judged Amanda.
Just buried her fiancé, and already moved on, they whispered.
She shouldnt have to mourn forever, others said in defence.
Amandas nerves frayed as the deadline neared. She dreaded Lukes return, feared for Tom catching them in the act. She longed to confess, couldnt bear the tension.
Finally, two days before the appointed date, she blurted out her secret to Tom.
Tom, I need to tell you something Amanda began, and he laughed.
I know, I love you too
No, not that
Tom grew serious as Amanda recounted everything. He struggled to believe his gentle Amanda could go so far, but understood shed been threatened and terrified.
My word Amanda, youll have to answer for this. Wheres the stolen stuff? You shouldve come to me immediately
Amanda fetched the hidden bag and handed it over. He reasoned with her, reassured her.
Two nights later, the inevitable knock came. Amanda, shaking, opened the door. Luke and his mate brushed inside, demanding the money.
I couldnt get the money Please, give me time, she begged.
Luke gripped her roughly. Times up. Its either the cash or He jerked her collar, tearing her shirt but suddenly, his friend crumpled behind him, then Luke dropped too. Officer Tom snapped on handcuffs; another officer hauled Lukes mate upright.
Its over, Tom said softly. Theyll get whats coming. Be at the station tomorrow.
Amanda confessed everything under questioning. Marina returned from holiday with her family everything was given back, quietly, as Tom asked the inspector not to let Amandas name spread.
No one guessed gentle Amanda could stoop so low. The village believed Luke and his accomplice were to blame and soon it was revealed theyd killed David, too. They were locked away for years.
Tom proposed to Amanda. They wed, love cleansing Amandas soul, healing her old wounds at last. They now have a daughter named Daisy.
