Tell James to get here right now! my sister shouted, clutching the phone. All three little ones are running fevers, theyre whining nonstop. I cant get them to the doctor on my own. If he comes by car, maybe we can manage.
Margaret, my motherinlaw, tried to keep her voice steady, even though I could see the worry in her eyes. Inside, the tension had tightened like a knot.
Give me a minute, love. Dont stress yourself, she whispered, hoping to calm me. She hit the mute button and held her breath, her fingers trembling as they searched for my number in her contacts. Three sick children, Emily alone, and I was at work. The situation was dire.
I knew I could help, she thought. The first ring, the second, and finally I answered.
Hey, Mum, I said quickly.
Chris, Margaret began, hunting for the right words. Emily called. All three of her kids have come down with something, and she cant get them to a doctor. Her husbands stuck at the office, cant get time off. Could you drive over and take the little ones? It shouldnt take long.
Silence hung heavy. I could hear my own breathing and a faint clatter in the background.
Honestly, Mum, I cant, I sighed. Its Annies birthday today. We booked a table at the riverside bistro weeks ago. Driving across town in this rain is a nightmare, and we wont make the reservation. Im sorry, but Im out.
Margarets grip on the phone tightened until her knuckles turned white. Chris, the children are ill! Your nieces kids! Emily cant handle three sick toddlers on her own. They need a doctor now!
I get that, Mum, I replied flatly, without a hint of emotion. But we have plans. You could call a taxi, or ask your husband to help. Whats the problem?
She sank into a chair, her legs giving way. Her husbands at work! I cant possibly manage three sick kids by myself! Dont you understand the basics?
Sorry, Mum, I cant, I snapped. Its not my problem. Emilys responsible for her own children. Shell have to sort it out.
Her face flushed with fury. How can you say thats not your problem? Its your family! Your sister! You cant just turn your back on kin.
I already told youI cant. Were about to leave, sorry, I cut off, the line clicking as the call ended.
The short, harsh beeps of the phone lingered. I stared at the screen, unable to process what had just happened. My hands trembled slightly. I dialed again, hoping for a different answer, but there was only silence.
Something inside me flared. How could I have spoken to my own mother like that? I called my sisterinlaw, hoping Poppy might convince me to reconsider.
Hello, Margaret? Poppy answered almost instantly.
Poppy, dear, Margaret tried to keep her tone gentle. Why arent you asking Chris to help? Those are his nieces! Emilys in a bind. You know, youre a womansurely you understand?
Poppy sighed, her voice calm, almost detached. Margaret, the parents are supposed to look after their kids. There are taxis, an NHS ambulance if its serious. The children arent babies any more. Emilys an adult; shell manage.
Margaret froze, the words hitting harder than my refusal. Do you even realise what it would be like to haul three ill, fussy toddlers in a taxi? Theyre tiny! Emily cant do it alone!
Its her children, Margaret, Poppy replied breezily. Weve planned our own evening. We dont want to ruin it over other peoples issues.
Rage surged again. Then perhaps you and your future family should never be asked for help! I heard Margaret throw the handset down.
The days that followed drifted like a fog. I didnt call Margaret again, and she didnt call me. She tried to push the memory aside, but the hurt kept gnawing at her.
At night she lay awake, replaying our conversation. How could I have been so cold? Had she failed as a mother? Had she raised me to be selfish?
Her husband tried to talk to her a few times, but Margaret brushed him off. She felt she had to sort it all out herself, to understand what had gone wrong.
On the fourth evening, her patience snapped. She decided to drive to my flat, determined to look me in the eye and demand an explanation.
Poppy opened the door, a flicker of surprise on her face, then stepped aside silently. Margaret didnt even take off her coat as she entered.
Wheres Chris? she snapped.
In the bedroom, Poppy said, pointing at the door.
Margaret pushed the door open. I looked up, my eyes meeting hers. For a heartbeat something unspoken flashed across my gaze, then my expression hardened.
Mum? Whats happened? I asked, raising an eyebrow.
How could you? she shouted, her voice cracking the quiet. All the anger of four days burst out at once.
How could you turn away from sick children? From your own sister? I didnt raise you to be such a selfish, cold-hearted man!
I rose slowly, my face still calm, almost indifferent. The coldness only fed her fury.
Mum, you could have called a taxi yourself, I said, shrugging. Drive over to Emily, help with the kids. Im not going to drop everything at the first call.
I paused, looking straight at her.
Did you forget how Emily stopped talking to us after we bought the flat? Shes been spouting gossip ever since, I continued. Since we moved in, shes been angry about everything, never picks up the phone, even refuses to meet us on the street. Now she needs help out of the blue?
Margarets mouth opened, then closed again. Its its just that Emily lives in a rented flat with three kids, she stammered.
And you and Poppy live in a twobedroom house, no kids. Of course shes upset, I replied, voice flat. But thats not my concern.
Poppy stood in the doorway, arms crossed, her face unchanged.
Shes always chatting away, saying nasty things about Annie, I added coldly. The flat isnt my business.
My husband and I earned that flat on our own, Margaret snapped. No one helped us. Let Emily sort her own problems, dont drag my family into it.
I took a step forward, fists clenched involuntarily.
What are you talking about? I barked. Shes your sister! Family!
No, Mum, I snapped back, voice rising. My family is Poppy. Emily should have thought ahead!
She chose to have three children! No one forced her! Im not obligated to drop everything for her at the first sign of trouble! I said, eyes flashing.
Youre selfish! Margaret cried. All you think about is yourself! Your sister can barely manage her kids, and you cant even help once?
Help? I laughed. Why should I help someone whos ignored me for six months? We stopped speaking to Emily! How could you not see that?
I drew a breath, then lowered my voice. What am I even talking about? I shook my head. You only ever worry about Emily. Its always been that way. Im just a empty space for you.
Youre heartless! Margaret shouted, turning away. How can you say that? I never raised you like this! I taught you to look out for each other!
I lunged for the door, the hallway echoing my footsteps. The cold street air hit my face, but it didnt ease the tension. I walked to the bus stop, the thought looping in my mind: where had I gone wrong? How had I become this?
Why cant family just help each other? Why do we turn away from those we love?
Deep down, a small, sharp seed of doubt began to grow. Maybe Poppy was right about the flat, about Emilys bitterness. Maybe Id been blind to my own needs while demanding everything from my mother.
I stopped on the pavement, pedestrians brushing past. What if she was right? What if Id been demanding too much, ignoring my sisters plight?
No, I shook my head. I was a father, a husband. I knew what was right for my own family. I couldnt let other peoples problems dictate my life.
Yet the doubt lingered, a tiny ache that got bigger with each step toward the bus.
I boarded the omnibus, pressed my forehead against the window. Outside, houses, cars, ordinary life rolled by. Inside, something inside me cracked, something shifted forever.
I didnt know if I could ever fix it. Whether I could talk to my mother again, or if she would ever forgive me. Whether she would ever understand my side.
The bus rattled over potholes. I closed my eyes, hoping tomorrow would bring clarity. Perhaps the right words would surface. Perhaps the family could be a family again.
Or perhaps it was already too late.
