Although Mary was a wonderful daughter-in-law and wife, she managed to ruin not only her marriage, but herself as well.
Mary had grown up an orphan, raised in a children’s home in Birmingham. Barely eighteen, she married her sweetheart, but truly had no idea what it meant to be a wife or to belong to a family. She didnt even have any married friends to lean on for advice. Arriving at her husbands flat in Manchester, she eagerly absorbed every tidbit about what it took to be the perfect wife. Her main source of wisdom? Her mother-in-law.
Of course, Mary had overheard plenty of tales about meddling mothers-in-law, but, not having a mother of her own, she secretly hoped her husbands mother would fill that role, guiding her and wanting what’s best for her. In truth, her mother-in-law meant no true harm, but things still went wrong With zeal, she started instructing Mary in the subtle rules of family life, declaring, A wife is to blame for a husbands infidelity.
Why? Mary had always assumed the fault lay with whoever chose to betray their vows. But the reality, according to her mother-in-law, was quite different. The wife bore the blame for her husbands wandering eyeclearly she must have let herself go, lost her allure as a woman. Her mother-in-law urged her to keep a wasp waist even in old age, so Mary dutifully scribbled “dont gain weight” into her notebook and joined a gym.
Mary was already slim and graceful, but terrified of putting on weight, she became obsessive about dieting. The moment Mary seemed to master one lesson, her mother-in-law would drop another piece of wisdom: In any decent family, both are working.
Mary never argued; in fact, she longed for a job herself, and was willing to take anything that came her way. When she asked her mother-in-law how to manage during maternity leave, the womans reply was brisk: How you cope during your leave is your businessnot mine!
Mary didnt bother to write that one down, but a few years into her marriage, she found herself on maternity leave, working part-time as a nanny on the side. Mary was content, but her husband and mother-in-law complained about how pitiful her wages were.
Mary thought surely it would be harmless to spend her small salary at the hairdressers, but then came the next pearl: No point dolling yourself up while youre at home minding children! Do your hair and makeup when youve gone back to workright now, you need to save every penny!
Mary handed every bit of her wages to her husband. Throughout their married life, her mother-in-laws refrain rang in her ears: A good wife does all her own housework.
And so it was that Mary did everything herself. She was exhausted, desperate for rest, but pressed on alone. Fainting spells began to haunt her days. Often, after putting the last child to bed at nine, she would sweep up, scrub, and prepare the next day’s meals. Meanwhile, her husband, exhausted from earning a living, would be off on his umpteenth nap.
It was hardly surprising when Mary landed in hospital. She had ignored every ache and pain, too busy to notice the start of a serious illness. She stayed in hospital for over two weeks, and neither her husband nor mother-in-law came to visit even once. Mary was luckyshe had her mobile with her in hospital, and rang her closest friend, who came immediately with everything she needed. The very day she was discharged, Mary filed for divorce.
