After hearing this story from my friend, my whole outlook on people changed dramatically, and so did my husband’s. We began spending less time with our friends and shared far less about our private lives. It’s not that we’ve stopped trusting them, and we still get on well, but we’ve drawn a clear lineno one gets let into our personal affairs. And all of this started because of an unpleasant incident that happened to my friend and her husband.
They’d always had close friendsthey’d all known each other for years. My friend’s husband and her friend’s husband worked together, while the women had studied at the same university. Later on, her friend got married and had a baby about a year after. She introduced my friend to her husband’s colleague, and they began dating, eventually marrying.
But then, not long after, her friend’s husband left his job for a more profitable position. She, too, landed a well-paid post. Their get-togethers became less frequent. At the same time, my friend went on maternity leave after having her children, and with a couple of health issues, she was off work quite a bit. The bosses didn’t take kindly to all her absences and, under some flimsy pretext, she was sacked.
Her husband had to work really hard to provide well for their growing brood and her. Still, they managedthey bought a sizeable house, kept up with the household, and though things eventually evened out, they never became particularly wealthy.
Their friends, on the other hand, didn’t have any children, were both busy climbing the career ladder, and spent a lot of time travelling or holidaying wherever they liked.
One day, this other couple decided to invite my friend and her family over to their country house. They thought it would be just what everyone neededa break from the noise and rush of London. They could have a barbecue, swim in the nearby river, go for a ramble in the woods. It truly was stunning weather. My friends friend rang her up, delighted by her own idea, and gave her the invitation. She was over the moon, but she said she’d need to check with her husband first and would call back to confirm if they could come. Her friend set her phone down on the table, but didnt hang up. And thats when my friend overheard a shocking conversation about herself and her family.
As it turned out, these friends thought my friend and her husband were clueless about life, struggling from paycheque to paycheque all because they had four children. Their house, apparently, was a dump, nowhere fit to host anyone. The children were ill-mannered, and, honestly, they reckoned half of them belonged in an orphanage. They called my friend dull, saying she never spoke about anything but her kids.
As if that wasn’t enough, they described her husband as a coarse lout no one wanted to talk to. Then the accidental call finally ended, and the couple who’d overheard everything just sat in shock. At one point they even considered confronting these friends directly. But just then, her friends husband called, cheerfully announcing theyd come round that weekend after all. My friends husband agreed politely and got off the phone.
They talked it over and decided to just wait for the visit. The friends showed up with some cheap chutney and sweets for the children. Straight away, the husband started:
So, what kind of pitiful salary are you on that you couldn’t even get anything decent? Well, never mind, weve laid on a proper spread. Tuck in. Theres plenty here, but youll need to help out afterwardstheres loads to do.
The couple were dumbfounded, barely comprehending what was happening when the wife chimed in:
And why havent you got children yet?
Were not ready yet, replied my friends friend. Well get round to it.
I knew it. Only rough types have children. Clever people live for themselves, she shot back.
The two of them were utterly speechless. It was clear the others knew everything, but hadnt a clue how. The friends soon made up an excuse to leave early.
So, whats to be made of all this? Did the couple handle it as well as they could? Should they have been kinder to their guests, or perhaps more firm? What would you have done?
