Ive truly had enough of these constant weekend visits!
Perhaps youve encountered this type of person beforethe kind who believes the entire world revolves around them, never even stopping to consider you might have plans of your own. My brother-in-law and his whole family descend on us every weekend like clockwork. His little clan includes himself, his wife, their two children, and his wifes brother. The whole lot of them arrive on Friday night and settle in until Sunday, never once bothering to ask if its convenient for us or what we might have on.
This parade of guests has been going on for nearly a year now, and I am utterly fed up. I do enjoy hosting, but only within reason. As it stands, I cant get anything done for myself, nor can I enjoy a quiet rest after my long working week.
Instead of unwinding, I find myself glued to the cooker all weekend, making conversation and meals, preparing beds, and then after they finally clear off, Im left with mountains of laundry to wash. Each time I ask myself whether they realise just how rude it is to rock up uninvited, even if we are family. Had these visits been a rare thing, I might not have minded, but theyre here at least three times every month.
My wife and I would never impose like that on our own relatives, so in hindsight perhaps we should have made surprise visits ourselvesjust so they could enjoy the “pleasure” from the other side. I asked my wife to speak to them, but she claimed she didnt know how to approach it, worried she might offend someone. Perhaps, deep down, she doesnt really mind it. With no help from her, I was forced to take matters into my own hands.
First off, I stopped cooking at weekends. I simply told them, “Whatevers left in the fridge from the week is up for grabs, but if it runs out, feel free to make something yourself. Im not fussed if I skip a meal.”
One afternoon, they all sat expectantly at the table, waiting for dinner, giving me increasingly puzzled glances. I told them outright, “Theres nothing cooking today. If youre hungry, the kitchens all yours.” They said nothing, made no food, just drank their tea and retired to bed.
On top of this, I stopped the frantic cleaning before every visit. One day my brother-in-laws wife complained that her daughters white socks had turned grey. I told her I hadnt had time to wash the floors lately, and if the state of my home concerned her, there was a bucket and mop in the bathroom ready and waiting. She never mentioned it again.
Most importantly, I stopped pushing my needs aside. I no longer cancelled my own plans just for guests. At the end of the day, I deserve a life of my own, time for myself and with people I truly want to see. If they came round, Id sit for an hour then excuse myself: “Ive things to do.” If my wife wished to entertain them, that was her choice. If I had a totally free day, Id start a deep clean just to keep myself busy and spend as little time with them as possible.
After one such visit, my brother-in-law said to my wife, “Looks like our times up, eh?” How on earth did he come to that conclusion? Since then, dear guests only visit after asking first and never stay the night. Now, their visits are much less frequent.
If anyones faced a similar situation, Id say this: dont let people take your hospitality for granted. Its fine to lay down boundariesand in my case, it worked!
