I’ve honestly had enough of them turning up every weekend!
Perhaps youve come across that particular sort of person who genuinely believes the whole world revolves around them, and they simply dont care that you might have your own life to get on with. My brother-in-law and his family have been descending upon us every single weekend, as if by right. His clan consists of him, his wife, their two children, and his wifes brother. The whole lot of them would rock up and camp out at ours, without ever the courtesy to ask if we had plans or even wanted any company.
This circus has been going on for almost a year now, and Ive truly reached my limit. I do like having guests overwithin reasonyet suddenly I found I had no time to myself, not even a quiet moment to recover after a long week at work. Instead of relaxing, Id spend the entire weekend chained to the cooker, making polite conversation, sorting out spare beds, and then wrestling with mountains of laundry once theyd finally left. Each time, the same question ran through my mind: do they even realise how awfully rude it is to turn up repeatedly, without so much as a word in advance, regardless of us being family? Perhaps I could stomach it if these visits were rare, but they happened at least three times a month.
My husband and I would never dream of imposing ourselves like that on our relatives. Maybe we ought to have returned the favour a few times, just so they could get a taste of their own medicine. Id pleaded with my husband to have a word, but he hadnt the faintest idea how to phrase it without offending anyoneor maybe secretly he was perfectly happy with the set-up. He refused to get involved, so I decided to tackle the problem myself.
First, I simply stopped cooking on weekends. That left our guests to fend for themselves, scrounging whatever leftovers were lurking in the fridge. If we happened to run out, well, theyd just have to get on with it. I can go without a meal, no skin off my nose.
One time, the whole crowd gathered around the table, waiting for dinner, all staring at me expectantly. I told them point-blank there was nothing to eat that day, and if they were hungry theyd have to cook for themselves. They didnt say a wordinstead, they just drank some tea and went off to bed.
I also stopped going wild with the cleaning before each visit. Once, my brother-in-laws wife complained that her daughters white socks had turned grey. I simply said I hadnt had time to mop the floorsand if she was so worried about it, she was welcome to help herself, the mop and bucket were in the bathroom. She never mentioned it again.
Most importantly, I stopped putting everyone else ahead of myself. I no longer rearranged my plans when guests descended. At the end of the day, I deserve a personal life, and I want to spend time with people I actually enjoy. When they did come, Id sit with them for an hour, then politely excuse myself, saying I had things to get on with. If my husband wanted to entertain his family, that was his business. And if nothing else was scheduled, Id cheerfully start a deep clean, just to keep myself otherwise occupied.
After one such visit, my brother-in-law said to my husband, “Seems like our welcomes worn out, hasnt it?” Heaven knows how he finally got the hint. Since then, our dear guests only turn up if weve spoken beforehandno more overnight stays, and visits are much, much less frequent.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation, and if so, how did you manage to deal with it?
