You know, its funny what can change in a couple of years. Nearly two years ago, my husband Simon said something to me that Ill probably never forget. He just turned to me and said, You live so predictably, Im bored of you. While Simon clearly thought our life was dull, I actually liked how things were. Id wake up early, have breakfast, do my stretches, and dress for the office. Most mornings, Id get Simon sorted first since he left before me, then grab my own bits and pieces. Wed both take homemade packed lunches nothing fancy, but always made at home. Every evening, on my way back from work, Id nip into Tesco, then cook, tidy up, and do the washing. Most nights before bed, wed stick on a film and call it a night.
Honestly, I thought I had it right. Everything seemed ideal to me: Simon was always looked after, well-fed, the flat was spotless and comfy. What more could I want? Every Saturday Id go all out with the cleaning, bake something lovely Victoria sponge if I was feeling fancy and cook a proper dinner. In the evenings, wed usually either have friends over or head out for a drink. Sundays meant visiting our families half the day at Mum and Dads, half at his parents. Wed help out with odd jobs, have a cuppa, catch up, and just spend quality time together.
Sundays would wind down with us tucked up on the sofa, completely at ease. We never argued, never raised our voices. It was all peaceful and harmonious at home. But one day, Simon dropped the bomb: he was bored of me. He spent hours telling me how unsatisfied he was, talking about his mates who partied as much as they liked, lived life to the full, unlike us. He moaned that we didnt even have rows as if that meant we were missing out somehow! That night, he just walked out.
I was perfectly happy with our life and didnt see any need to change. But, for Simons sake, I was prepared to do anything even if it meant shaking things up. First off, I went for a total makeover. I ditched half my wardrobe, went shopping, and spent almost all the money wed put aside for a house deposit on clothes. I got my hair cut short and dyed it a colour Id never dared to try before. I decided I wasnt going to look boring anymore. Then I found a new job, not the usual desk job, but organising events and parties. Through that, I found a whole new world of quirky entertainment and met all sorts.
About a week later, Simon came back and was completely shocked at what he found. I promised him wed live differently now. And we really did. Suddenly, we were never at home. Always out and about, meeting new people. Every night we were at clubs, restaurants, house parties, or just hanging out somewhere. Wed go camping, take the bikes to the coast, even try things like paddleboarding on the weekend, or just zip off to another city for a couple of days.
After a few months of this brand-new, non-boring life, Simon started to complain that he missed the peace and quiet. Suddenly, what he wanted back was simple evenings at home and a proper home-cooked meal. I didnt have time for that anymore I was too busy to stand around making shepherds pie. Id changed so much, Simon hardly recognised the woman he used to long for.
The week after, he told me straight out he just couldnt keep up with that sort of whirlwind. He wanted to go back to the good old days peace, comfort, and cosiness. Evening in with a cuppa, weekends with the parents, and real homemade food, not leftovers from a takeaway.
Trouble is, by that point I just wasnt interested anymore. Id tried so hard to fit into that grown-up domestic routine, and now I had zero desire to give up my new life. To be honest, I really liked the way things were now. Sure, Id enjoyed the old routine too, but I wasnt going back. So when Simon said he wanted things to go back to how theyd been, we really had it out. I mean, a full-blown row plates smashing, neighbours knocking, someone even called the police. In the end, Simon packed his stuff and went to his mums. Maybe he thinks if he comes back, Ill be waiting, just as he left me.
But I reckon thats just too much to ask. Were not characters in a film you cant change people with the flick of a switch. When Simon comes home, all hes going to find on the kitchen table are divorce papers and a note saying that, frankly, he bores me now and I cant live with him anymore.
