So, tomorrow is my mother-in-laws birthday, and shes decided she wants to celebrate it in our flat.
Our little one is only four and a half months old, you know, and at first shed invited us round to hers, so we thought my own mum would look after the baby. But then, typical as ever, she changed her mind and said theyd rather come round to us her, my father-in-law, and my daughter and have a little do here. Honestly, I dont have the money for a dinner out, and my husband isnt keen, and anyway, his parents arent fussy at all and would turn their noses up. Very thrifty, that pair.
Im honestly not sure why shes decided to throw her birthday party at ours. Is it just to irritate me? Maybe so I come across as a rubbish host? Or is it her way of getting the family all together round one table? I cant read her. Ever since Ive known her, its been a bit tense between us but after the birth, things got even worse. Maybe shes trying, in her own awkward way, to patch things up but this isnt the way to go about it. Its not that shes ever insulted me outright, but shes definitely hurt me. Any warm feelings I had left for her have pretty much disappeared. Now, whatever sort of smile she puts on, I know what shes really thinking about me.
Its not like I stop her seeing her grandchild to be honest, she never actually asks to. Every Friday I ask my husband whether his mum wants to see the baby that weekend. Like, I have no objection; its her grandchild after all. But Id rather not see her if I can help it whenever we do, it gets all awkward. Probably because we both remember whats been said before.
Im honestly not embarrassed to admit my familys a bit rough round the edges; my dad and my sister both drink. So what? Im still a person, arent I? She doesnt have to respect my need to catch up on some sleep at the weekend, if the baby gives me a chance. My weekends are precious at least I dont have to get up at half six to make breakfast for my husband. If Im not absolutely exhausted, its a miracle. And every time I hear the key turn in the lock, part of me just wants to run away…
And, of course, every now and then she reminds me again that technically this is her flat, and everythings done by her rules. I know its her place, but I live here now I should be able to walk about in my dressing gown with my hair sticking up and not have to worry someones going to burst in unannounced. Surely if a flats rented out, landlords dont just barge in uninvited, do they? Feels to me like a not-so-subtle reminder about who really owns the place.
Our relationship was strained from the start, really. Even when she found out her son wanted to propose, she never bothered to get to know me. When we went to give notice at the registry office, she called me up, questioning whether I really meant it. Just wouldnt accept it. Didnt want to meet up, not at her place, not at a café, nowhere. Of course, she doesnt know Id never been with anyone before her son.
We only actually met by chance after me and my husband had been together about five months. She wasnt exactly welcoming. Im being polite there! She was pretty rude, really, when my husband finally introduced us. Ive only seen my father-in-law once, and that was at the wedding. Maybe thats why Ive never warmed to her.
I absolutely hate pretending, even though Im decent at it if I have to be. But I just dont want to anymore, dont want to put on a front and act all nice when I dont mean it. Yes, were living in her old flat, but really, what difference does that make? She actually handed it over to her son. And only two days after Id come home from the hospital with the baby, she went in on me telling me off about my family, that I was just leeching off her son, all that. How can a woman in her mid-fifties say those things to her daughter-in-law, whos only just had a baby, as though Ive done her some great wrong apart from marrying her son?
Its not that I have a problem with visitors just not her, if Im honest. Because when shes here, Ill have to help set up, dash between the baby and the table, wait around until the guests decide to head off. I mean, Ive done my bit, bought her a present and everything. But really, Im just counting down until its all over.
