Dear Diary,
Today I watched a young woman, Lily, sit on the hospital cot with her legs tucked under her, muttering angrily: I dont want him. Im done with Andrew. He said he doesnt want a child, so I dont either. Do what you like with him it makes no difference to me. The ward sister, Margaret, tried to calm her down. Child, abandoning your own baby is barbaric. Even beasts wouldnt do that, she said. Lily snapped back, I dont care what beasts do. Discharge me now or Ill make a scene you wont forget. Margaret sighed, Bless your heart, you foolish girl. Her experience told her that medicine could do little here.
Just a week ago Lily was moved from the maternity ward to the paediatric unit. Shes a quarrelsome, dramatic sort who flatout refused to breastfeed, no matter how gently we pleaded. She would only agree to express milk, but then she had nowhere to go.
The junior doctor on the babys case, Emily, struggled in vain. Lily threw endless tantrums. Emily tried to explain the danger to the infant, and Lily threatened to run away. Flustered, Emily called Margaret, who spent a solid hour trying to reason with the irrational mother. Lily insisted she had to see her boyfriend, claiming he would leave her if she didnt go south with him.
Margaret, seasoned after years on the floor, wasnt about to give up. I can keep her here for three more days. Let her think, maybe shell come to her senses. The moment Lily heard three days she erupted. Youre mad! Andrews already angry with me over this damned baby, and now youre throwing me a curveball. If I dont go south with him, hell take Katya away. She burst into tears, shouting that everyone was clueless and that Katya only wanted him to leave. The child was merely a means to secure a marriage.
Margaret ordered a dose of valerian and headed for the door, followed by the senior registrar, Helen, who had remained silent until now. In the corridor Helen paused and asked softly, Do you really believe this child will be alright with a mother like that? Margaret replied, What can we do? If we send him to a baby home, hell end up in an orphanage. Both families are respectable, and the boy is a fine lad. Find the parents address, lets talk to them.
That very day Lily vanished. Margaret called the boys parents; they refused even a word. Two days later Lilys father, a sourtempered man named George, arrived. Margaret tried to persuade him to see the child. He dismissed it, saying hed have his daughter sign a refusal form and hand it to his driver. Margaret insisted the paperwork had to be signed by Lily herself, otherwise the rules would be broken. The stubborn man threatened to send his wife to handle it.
The next morning a small, pallid woman named Rose entered, perched on the edge of a chair, weeping. She whispered about a tragedy, saying the boys parents had whisked him abroad to a wealthy family with grand plans, leaving their own child sobbing and cursing the infant. She claimed she would follow the boy overseas, no matter what. Margaret, hoping to stir some maternal feeling, showed Rose the baby. Roses eyes softened, then hardened again as she clutched a fresh handkerchief and wailed.
Margaret sighed, ordered the nurse to give Rose another dose of valerian, and muttered about the dwindling supply of calmants. She reported everything to the chief consultant, Dr. Thomas. Upon seeing the little boy, Thomas beamed, asked what the baby was being fed, and called him Donut because of his round cheeks.
Donut stayed with us for months. Lily returned occasionally, claiming she was saving money for a ticket to find her boyfriend, and even played with the child. Her mother also visited, fussing over Donut, then departing in tears, apologising for her daughters obsession. Margaret labelled it not love but lust.
Despite the visits, Lily never signed any papers to take Donut home. Margaret finally confronted the mother and grandmother, warning them that the childs health was deteriorating. The registrar, Emily, rushed to him whenever she could. Donut grew weak, lost weight, and Emily cradled him, calling him a pancake instead of a donut. Yet he soon regained strength, becoming the wards favourite, delighting in Emilys coralcoloured beads and trying to bite them with a grin.
Then came the day Lily learned her boyfriend had married someone else. She went berserk, shouting that everyone conspired to keep them apart, that she hated everyone, especially the baby. She declared she would sign the refusal form, have Donut sent to a childrens home, and then sail off to Andrew, convinced hed abandon this monster and marry her. She handed the form to the chief, left without a word, and the chief summoned Margaret.
When Margaret returned, her face dark as a storm cloud, she said, Its done. The form is signed. The chief wants us to place him in a baby home. What can we do? Emily broke into tears. Margaret, removing her spectacles, rubbed them obsessively a habit that always meant she was on edge. The ward fell silent as Donut played happily in his cot.
A nurse entered, greeted him, and he squealed with joy, flailing his tiny arms and legs. Suddenly he froze, his eyes fixed on something unseen. The nurse, puzzled, approached and felt an inexplicable pang in her chest, tears spilling down her cheeks as she stared at his little, bright eyes. She later learned his mother had just signed the refusal.
Margaret grumbled about idle chatter, dismissing the superstition that the baby sensed his mothers betrayal. Abandoned children always feel it, she muttered, whether by angels or by fate. The world can be cruel, she thought, shoving unwanted infants into grey institutions, making them invisible. Yet she also believed that somewhere, a spark of kindness could still be found.
From that moment Donut lay quiet, his smile fading, his eyes solemn. Emily tried everything: Donut, want a hug? Look, I have beadslets play. She extended her hand, but he stared at her, motionless. She wept, feeling helpless.
One afternoon Emily shouted, Were betraying him! Those bastards put us here, and now were the villains. He didnt ask to be born into this mess! She collapsed onto the sofa, head in her hands, whimpering. Margaret sat beside her, placed a hand on her shoulder and said, Love, I dont know what to do. I feel sorry for Donut, God, what a job. Emily replied, I wont just sit here; Ill act. Margaret snapped, Then dont sit! Get up, stop whining. Your coat is soaked. Acting means doing, not talking. You wont get him, you know that. You live in a dorm, no husbandstop dreaming.
Margaret promised Emily time to find suitable parents for Donut. Emily threw herself into the search, her sincerity moving even the nightshift staff. At last she found a couple, Laura and Leo, both in their early thirties, childless, who had long dreamed of adoption. Laura was gentle, with a lilting voice; Leo was solid, almost military in bearing, clearly devoted to his wife. Their home was bright and warm.
When Laura and Leo met Donut, Laura gasped, What a sweet little thing! Leo, amused, asked, How much did he weigh? Laura laughed, Hell keep mum about his birth weight, wont he? The ward sister chuckled, Hes just a tiny mirror of Donut, thats all you need. Laura stepped into Donuts room, and the baby, eyes fluttering, grasped her finger tightly, surprising everyone with his grip. Laura smiled, whispered a promise to return, and Donut clutched her thumb as if fearing shed leave.
Margaret, watching, muttered, Bless the Lord, these little reflexes are strong at this age. She warned them, If you take him, you must be ready for his clinginess. Laura reassured, Weve decidedwell bring him home. The couple left, handinhand, confident.
Now, looking back on all the turmoil, Ive learned a hard truth: life will toss us into the most absurd dramas, and people will abandon responsibilities in the name of love or fear. Yet the smallest souls, like Donut, teach us patience, compassion, and the power of steadfast care. If I ever find myself tempted to turn away someone in need, Ill remember this ward, this baby, and the quiet strength that kept me from giving up. The lesson I carry forward is simplenever underestimate the impact of a gentle hand and a determined heart.
