I really should have better prepared for the arrival of my baby!
My discharge from hospital was quite something. My husband was at work and came straight to pick me up from the office. Id begged him to take some time off, but his manager absolutely refused. Id asked him to sort everything out for the babys arrival and he assured me hed handle it all. If wed just sorted things out earlier, wed have done the laundry, bought everything, and generally put the flat in order. But no such luck! Thirty-year-old Jane shared her frustrations.
So, he broke his promise then?
I left for the hospital without being properly prepared. When I got back home, the place was an absolute tip. I felt embarrassed, especially with family coming over. There was so much dust I could have drawn a picture on the shelves. There wasnt a pram, no chest of drawers, and he hadnt even bothered to pick up any baby clothes. Thank goodness my friends gave me some nappies Jane continued her story.
Jane married six years ago. Now, she and her husband had finally become parents. Theyd put off having children so they could get themselves steady. When things finally looked up, Jane decided the time was right.
I gave my boss notice that I was pregnant, and he sacked me on the spot. Others might have fought it, but I took it as a sign. I started quietly getting ready for motherhood, did some embroidery, and made the most of my free time. We didnt worry about money my husband had just been promoted, Jane explained.
The pregnancy went along nicely. She read a lot, took long walks, and leisurely browsed for baby bits and bobs.
My husband wouldnt let me buy anything until the baby was born. Its bad luck to buy things before, he kept saying. My sister promised us a chest of drawers and a cot, and she set aside a few other bits for us. She kept urging me to collect it all in advance, to clean and wash it. In the end, I just packed my hospital bag; I wasnt allowed to do anything else Jane sighed.
But when the time came, the soon-to-be father panicked, finally realising just how much needed to be spent. As I was in labour, I remember worrying I hadnt even had time to empty the washing machine. The clothes sat there until I got home again.
Thank goodness for my friends, who gave me clothes and nappies for the baby, or Id have had nothing clean to change him into. My husband flew around the city, collecting baby things, but everything he managed to find was filthy, dusty, and stained. I had to wash everything and wait for it to dry before I could even use it. At that point, I could have strangled every one of my relatives and filed for divorce Jane nearly broke down.
For days, she kept plugging away at tidying up their place. Its been two months since our son was born, but Jane still refuses to invite people around.
Now, the family reckon enough time has passed, so theyve started hinting about coming over. Im apparently expected to put on a proper Sunday roast Yeah, right! Theyve planned it all out for me she said half joking, half exasperated.
Janes mother couldnt understand why her daughter wasnt beaming with joy. Obviously, the flat hadnt been made ready in time. She should have sorted it herself! Nine months at home, what was she doing? She could have asked her husband to bring up the furniture or at least clean everything. And surely, persuading him to buy things wouldnt have been that difficult. You have to look after everything yourself. Who actually counts on a man for these things?
So, what do you think is Jane right to blame her family, or is it her own fault? Should she really have sorted things herself ahead of the baby? What would you have done in her shoes?
If theres anything Ive learned from all this, its that you simply cant leave everything to others no matter how much you trust them. You have to roll up your sleeves and make sure things are ready yourself. Thats one lesson I wont forget.
