Reining In a Husband
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After my time in hospital, I had started feeling better, and planned to leap back into routine first thing in the morning.
Yet, as I awoke, I was struck by an unexpected sense of resistance.
My wife Elizabeth was already up, stretching and flexing her joints. Athletic by nature, shes never abandoned her habits, even now in retirement. Each day begins with her exercises to ease the aches that visit us both in later years.
MeI traditionally rushed to greet our cat, Tilly, cleaning out her tray before anything else. Next, Id feed both Tilly and our loyal little terrier, Barney, clear away the traces of last nights shenanigans, and get Barney out for his morning walk.
In the afternoons and evenings, Elizabeth and I strolled together, meandering quietly through the nearby park. Mornings, however, were my domain; I raced to sort everything out before crafting a simple, trusty breakfast for both of us. It was always something along the lines of cottage cheese with honey and sultanas, or perhaps scrambled eggs or a soft-boiled eggnothing flashy, but traditional and comforting. I always considered this hustle my version of morning exercise. But after talking to the doctors during my hospital stay, Id been told sternly that bustling about the house does not count as proper physical activity.
Elizabeth, meanwhile, wrapped up her stretching, made the bed, and would sometimes grumble about how men shouldnt have to do this and that all of the housework seems to fall on my shoulders. Twice a week shed pop a wash on, give the house a once-over with the hoover, and then, with a sigh, mention how it appeared Id not done anything quite right. After breakfast, shed do the washing up, feeling shed made a significant contribution.
Afterwards, Id prepare lunch and retreat to the computer. Despite being retired, Id picked up bits of remote work to avoid counting every penny. Elizabeth found my efforts amusing, insisting there was no real need for extra spending when our wardrobes were already bursting. I tended not to arguefashion held no special appeal for me, especially since Elizabeth often complimented how well I looked, considering our age bracket. I hardly batted an eye when she bought herself yet another electric drill or some gadget with the money Id earned from these trivial jobs.
But then, quite out of the blue, illness changed everythingso much so that, at first, it rather frightened me.
It happened suddenly. I collapsed in the street, heading to the shops. The ambulance crew whisked me to hospital, and the doctors were shocked Id been functioning at all. My blood results were dreadful.
Even Elizabeth was visibly shaken when she saw me, pale and attached to a drip. Managing the house alone for a spell, she soon realised there was far more to be done daily than shed ever thought.
Naturally, she was desperate for me to recover and come home, and I know she really does love me deeply.
For the first few days after I was back, I resteddoctors orders. Elizabeth fussed, always asking, Feeling any better, Michael? Not really? Well, at least you dont look so ghostly pale anymore. Shed laugh, Dont get too comfy in bed. Youll forget how to walk! Its time you got back into the rhythm of things
I agreed, in part, with her, but not entirely. And today, when I woke, I found I had no desire at all to plunge straight back into all my usual chores.
I watched Elizabeth, her face intent as she twisted and stretched, and, for the first time in ages, I didnt simply see my caring wife. I saw someoneunwittinglyready to pile all of the unseen weight of housework back on my shoulders.
A surge of rebellion blossomed inside me.
I recalled the concern in my doctors voice: Michael, you never think of yourself, and youve gotten your wife used to that. She truly believes its all easy for you, that you dont tire. You always do everything with a smile, dont you? But here you are, brought in with severe anaemiayour test results three times worse than normal. Dont you want to live?
In hospital, they wasted no time hooking me up to a drip, and I had five transfusions before my blood finally looked sensible again.
It was my first blood transfusion, and as I watched that clear tube running straight into my arm, I thought: Fancy thatblood from five strangers, keeping me alive. In a funny way, I felt something had changed almost as if I carried a piece of them now. Would it alter me in ways I didnt expect?
Perhaps it did. Because when I got home, I was surprised to find I had no drive at all to submerge myself back into non-stop chores.
Yes, I love Elizabeth, and she loves meeven if she grumbles, she does a great deal more than many men ever would. But she always overstates the importance of her own efforts and downplays mine.
In the past, Id have let that slide. Im a forgiving soul. But something had shifted. I suddenly wanted to devote more time to myself, to old passions long neglected. The piano, for instance, had sat gathering dust, its future always uncertain. Or perhaps something new, something I hadnt even recognised just yet.
Rising, I started to stretch beside Elizabeth. She stared and remarked, Did they overdo it at hospital, love? Taking up fitness nowarent you spry enough? Go on, feed the cat and dog and sort out breakfast, Im starving.
My doctor prescribed these exercises, I replied, seriousness colouring my tone in a way she was unused to hearing. He said my health depends on it. Or is it that youd rather be a widow?
The bluntness of my words stunned her; she seemed gobsmacked. Maybe she thought I was still addled from my hospital stay. But she didnt complain when I, after our exercise, told her, Ill feed Tilly and Barney, and while you take Barney for a walk, Ill prepare breakfast. Itll all get done far faster that way.
I was taken aback myself at how smoothly Elizabeth agreed. Inside, I felt a peculiar disquiet. As if five newfound energies, borrowed from my transfusions, conspired to lend me strength to take simple, decisive actionslike tossing out sagging shirts to buy new ones with my own earnings, or taking exercise seriously, or returning to music.
I counted five firm intentionsone for each donor perhaps! The courage to act perhaps it came from them. People claim a heart transplant can bring strange transfers of talent or tastes; why not a transfusion? Didnt stories abound of those who, after major operations, discovered unexpected new gifts?
Now, when I looked at Elizabeth, my gaze had shed its old apologist softness. I felt a new confidenceborn not only from my doctors warnings but from this strange welling up of energy.
She watched me, probably wondering what had come over me; her familiar world, where Michael always behaved meekly and conveniently, was crumbling.
You know, Liz, I said, no longer fearing her reaction, I think Ive figured it outwhy youve always assumed all the works down to you. You just dont see what I dothe effort and exhaustion, the things I do to make life easier for you.
Well, from now on, youll notice. Dont be surprised when I chuck out all my worn-out jumpers and coats and buy new onesIve earned them. And Im going to play the piano, too. You always joked my music school days amounted to nothing but Chopsticks and When the Saints Go Marching In? Listen closely, then
Lifting the lid, I set my fingers on the keys and, to my own astonishment, played something beautiful, forgotten but deeply familiar.
Elizabeth watched me, wide-eyed in admiration, her voice a whisper, Michael, how are you doing that? Youve changed, havent you?
Her expression mingled astonishment and, perhaps, a hint of apprehension.
She was used to the old Michael, but standing before her now was someone different. Stronger. More decisive. This transformation struck her as mysterious, even unsettling.
I smilednot the old, apologetic half-smile, but one bursting with anticipation for what was to come. I could feel the fire in me, stoked by five new sparks of life, promising not just survival but real living.
I intended to live fully nowwith space for myself and my wishes. And perhaps to forge a newfound love with Elizabethone drawn from respect, not self-sacrifice.
Id never know who my five blood donors were, but they gave me more than a second chance. They gave me a shot at a truly rich and joyful life.
Elizabeth watches me now, pride brightening her eyes.
They say you should never ask why hardship or illness happens to you. What matters is to recognise what its meant to teach you. Perhaps these challenges came so I could see anew how marvellous life is.
Springs promise, winters chill, rain and bracing windeach day has its beauty, each sunrise its own blessing. The smiles and care of loved ones, even their flaws, remind us we are all human.
And if your loving spouse grows a little grumpy, perhaps you need to take the reinsremind them what being a proper partner truly means.
So long as we can, lets live life to the fullest and cherish every gift were given. Anything less would be a disserviceto ourselves, and those whove helped us along the way.
