How my mother-in-law lost her home
I am quite convinced that it was never our responsibility to support my brother-in-law and his family, let alone rent a flat for them. Let me be clear right away: I owned our three-bedroom flat, the one we lived in, and I had bought it in rather a dreadful state before my husband and I married. You can only imagine how run-down it wasthe front door was simply leaning against its frame. Still, I was pleased with the price, and fixed it up a bit at a time as I could manage. But that’s not really the point.
By the time I met my husband, I had already renovated two of the rooms and managed to furnish them a little. Altogether, it was becoming quite comfortable.
My husband, a handsome and solidly built man, had been renting a small flat. A few months after we met, he moved in with me. After we married, we turned one of the bedrooms into a nursery; first, I gave birth to a boy, and later a little girl.
All was well until, one chilly autumn evening, our peaceful family routine was upended by my mother-in-laws arrival. She turned up, tearful, with several suitcases in tow:
Could I stay with you for a while? she pleaded. My son has brought a girl to live in my flat. I hope it works out for them, perhaps shell be his wife and theyll live together until theyre old and grey… I wont be long. Ill help with the house, collect the children from nursery and school, cook for them. Ive no one left but you!
Seeing her in such a state, we let her in. We gave her the largest room. My husbands mother had long since retired and began looking after our children, as promised, but she avoided her own place, where her younger son was forging his new life. He now lived in her one-bedroom flat along with his young wife and two children: one of theirs, and one his wife had from before.
Years before, my brother-in-law had wed straight out of school. Soon after, my parents-in-law sold the family home and split the proceedsbuying a studio flat for themselves and a two-bedroom flat for their son. But later, my father-in-law fell ill and sadly passed away.
My brother-in-law and his first wife had two children together, then divorced, and he left his flat with them. Now, his ex-wife lives there with her new husband and three children.
After his marriage ended, my brother-in-law returned to his mother. He told her:
Mum, Ill stay with you. Free as the wind, dreaming big! Ill sort myself out, find a place. Somehow things didnt work out as he wished. A few months on, he brought a new girlfriend to live with him at his mums flat.
Weekends became utter mayhem, with my mother-in-law bringing his children from the first marriage, as well as those from the second. It was a madhouse.
A year later, we told my mother-in-law that she’d need to solve her housing situation. Once more, she was weeping and throwing herself into hysterics.
I saw I had to talk to my brother-in-law, and explained it was time to free up his mothers flat. He refused to budge, insisting he simply could not afford rent, given his children and tiny salary. But what could I do?
Lately, my relationship with my mother-in-law had soured badly. I dreaded returning home after work. I decided it was time to speak firmly to my husband, telling him he must find a home for his mother, or I would file for divorce.
He was utterly shocked. He had absolutely no idea where his mother might goafter all, one hardly puts one’s mother on the street.
I suggested that she could simply rent a studio flat, and that we could easily cover the cost. But my mother-in-law flatly refused to live in rented accommodation. Instead, she declared that we should rent a two-bedroom place for my brother-in-laws family, so she could return to her own home.
I found her suggestion incredibly cheeky, and told her plainly that if she did not move out within the week, I would leave all her things outside the door. What other options did I have?
I simply do not believe its our obligation to support my brother-in-laws family, much less provide them with a place to live!
