I still recall the way my motherinlaw, Margaret, barged into our lives that spring, despite my wife Eleanors wishes. My own mother, Margaret, has always been a nightmare when it comes to respecting other peoples boundaries. She never kept her distance, not for any particular reason, but simply because I had married Eleanor and she could not stand seeing me pull away from her.
Three weeks ago Eleanor gave birth to a little girl, a brighteyed baby we named Rose. Margaret insisted on being present in the delivery suite, but Eleanor wanted me alone with her. So while Eleanor was in labour, Margaret loitered in the hospitals foyer, shouting down the whole ward that she deserved to witness the birth of her first grandchild.
Whenever Margaret stepped into our cottage, she clung to everything and razed Eleanors confidence, declaring her a hopeless housewife and warning that Rose would grow up a terrible mother. Those remarks broke Eleanors composure; she issued an ultimatum: Margarets feet would never cross our doorstep again. I understood her perfectlyno one likes to be demeaned in their own home.
When we finally brought Rose home, the grandparents begged to meet her. Eleanor agreed to let Margaret visit once, on the condition that she kept her tongue shut. Margaret swore she would honor the request, but the moment she crossed the threshold she unleashed a torrent of barbs:
Its filthy in here. If youre going to live like this, you might as well stay that way. But out of respect for me, you could at least tidy up.
Eleanor lost her temper and told Margaret she was no longer welcome; she could see the baby only if we invited her. About two weeks have passed since the grandparents and my own father have met Rose, yet Margaret still refuses to come, and Eleanor will not see her. We hardly leave the house, the weather being drearily cold and damp.
Two days ago Eleanor had a doctor’s appointment, and I stayed home with Rose. I seized the opportunity to invite Margaret in, telling her we only had two hours before Eleanor returned. She refused to leave, no matter how hard I tried to persuade her.
Naturally Eleanor arrived home to find Margaret cradling Rose. The sight drove her to a complete nervous breakdownshe screamed at both of us, demanding Margaret leave at once. In my mind I urged Eleanor to shut her mouth and calm down, reminding her that this was my house and my child, and if I wanted my mother to see the baby, she could not forbid it or throw her out.
In the end, Eleanor pushed Margaret and me out of the cottage. She now refuses to speak to either of us. I have taken up residence with my parents, hoping that, in time, Eleanors fury will subside and we might find some peace again.
