Ive watched countless children grow up in foster homes, and were the ones whod take one in. So why not look for other parents?
Because were us, I snapped. Here no one would hurt him, and elsewhere he might, and wed never even hear about it. Arthur, always ready with a proverb, Where theres one, theres another.
Victoria never imagined her husband could be so sensitive. The loss of his friends touched him more deeply than anyone elses grief. No one wanted to adopt a child, and Arthur kept begging her
***
Lily was a rather late baby. Her parents were already over thirtyfive, her grandparents well past sixty. Late, yes, but longawaited, cherished, and, lets be honest, a bit spoiled. Whatever she wanted, she got.
Her mornings always began the same way Mum would rouse her, call her down for breakfast, and lay out her clothes. Today was no different.
Morning, sleepyhead! Mum chirped. How did you sleep? Dream anything?
Even at seven a.m. Mum was brighteyed.
Morning, Mum! I think I dreamed cant remember, Lily mumbled.
Sooner or later itll come back. Now eat weve got a full day ahead.
On the table sat a stack of fluffy pancakes, the kind Grandma used to bake before heading off to the clinic, and a bowl of fresh fruit, neatly sliced by Dad, Arthur, before heading to work. Lily, perched on her tiny high chair, piled on the pancakes while spilling out her latest morning discoveries.
Mum, what should I wear to the school concert? she asked, dunking a pancake in jam.
In a yellow dress.
Again, yellow
Do you want red instead? Mum suggested.
Yes, red please!
The concert was a month away, yet Lily was already buzzing with anticipation.
After breakfast came the walk.
Lily sprang out the door with extra spring because today was special the day shed finally try the scooter Grandpa had gifted her for his birthday. The snow had finally melted and the air was mild enough for a proper outing, which was a relief; a week longer and Lily would have been miserable.
She laced up her trainers and bolted into the garden, Mum barely keeping up.
All the neighbourhood kids swarmed around the new scooter, eager to have a look and a go. Lily, grinning, showed off every trick she could manage.
Look at me! she cried, pushing off with one foot, wobbling over the pavement. Who wants a turn?
She lost her balance and tumbled this was only her fifth attempt, after all, her only experience being a few short rides with a friend from nursery.
No one laughed.
Want to try? Lily brushed herself off, as if nothing had happened, and offered the scooter to the others.
One by one they grabbed the handle and tried to copy the moves theyd just seen. Lily was their little hero all afternoon, and when they went home most begged their parents to buy them a similar scooter.
That evening, when Dad came home, Lily raced to meet him a habit of hers and waited for his surprise.
Surprise! Dad announced, holding out a small box that smelled of something sweet.
Whats inside? Whats inside? Lily demanded, bouncing.
Arthur handed her the box. Inside were the most decadent pastries chocolate eclairs filled with silky cream.
Dad, youre the best! Lily shrieked.
After the sweets came their favourite pastime building with the construction set. Lily spread the coloured pieces across her bedroom floor, assembling a tiny princesss house while glancing at a picture from a catalogue for guidance.
Until she turned seven, Lily knew nothing of worry or trouble. Everyone loved her, spoiled her, and showered her with gifts and attention.
Then, one afternoon at six oclock, as Lily waited for Mum to collect her from the nursery, something happened that hinted at big changes ahead. Victoria arrived half an hour earlier than usual, and Lily noticed. The nursery teacher, a friend of Mums, tried to start a chat:
I watched that film you mentioned last week. Its not really my genre, but theres something about it, and the actor
Victoria cut her off, hurried, Sorry, were in a rush. Well talk about the film later.
Lily even left her favourite doll at the nursery, too busy watching Mum and blinking her eyes. Mum had never been like that before. Lily had never known Mum could be scared, angry, or upset. Her childhood had been sunny.
Back at home, Victoria, hair tied in a ponytail, set Lilys dinner not in the kitchen but in the sittingroom, serving curd with fruit.
Sit here, have a bite, turn on the telly, she said.
Lily only nodded she was already thinking about cartoons, not what Mum might be arguing about. Victoria, telling herself to be more patient, went to the kitchen where Arthur was already seated.
She started where shed left off before heading out to the nursery:
Arthur, we just cant adopt a child, she said, her tone stiff, Its sudden If we had more time Id think it through, weigh the pros
Arthur, brimming with confidence, replied:
What pros? Whats there to discuss? The boy is the son of our best friends. He has no close relatives, no grandparents like Lilys. Theres a distant uncle who surely wont want a stranger. If the boy ends up in care, would it be any different for Lily?
Victoria shivered at the thought of her daughter hurting a family, but answered:
Hell find a good foster home
And how do you know that? How do you know itll be good?
Millions of children live in foster families, and wed be one for him. So why look for other parents?
Because were us. Here he wont be hurt, elsewhere he might be, and wed never hear about it! Arthur blurted, Where theres one, theres another
Victoria never expected her husband to be so touchy. The death of his friends moved him more than anyone elses loss. No one wanted to take the child, and Arthur was pleading with her
Im not ready. I love Lily, but I dont know how to handle another child. Hed need more attention, hes a toddler, and Id have to go on paternity leave again
Isnt it worth it for Lily and Vera? Well manage, Victoria. Lilys getting older, shell help. We have the money. We know how to deal with kids. The second child will come to mind sooner or later
When? At fortyfive? Victoria retorted, sure theyd only have one child.
At fifty if we have to!
After weeks of hesitation, Victoria finally gave in to Arthurs pleas.
Six months later, after endless paperwork, they came home with a boy in a car seat named Charlie.
Lily, now a primaryschool pupil, was ready for a little brother. Her parents did their best to explain that this was wonderful and that they wouldnt love her any less.
But when Lily saw Dad cooing over the newborn, a strange feeling washed over her she realised Dad now had two children.
That evening Lily refused to join the celebration.
Victoria, bring more slices! Arthur shouted from the livingroom where relatives were bustling about the table.
On my way! she replied.
Victoria, grab another spoon! called her motherinlaw, Agatha.
Lily stayed in her room, bouncing at every shout as if it were her name being called.
Eventually someone noticed.
Wheres the queen of the feast? asked Granddad. Wheres Lily?
Lily? Shes probably in her room with her tablet. Once you buy a tablet, you cant get her out of it.
But Lily had already declared a boycott.
Grandma and Granddad tried to coax her out, but she stayed put. Her parents seemed to have forgotten her entirely, their attention fixed on Charlie.
You could say the chapter where she reigned supreme in the house had ended.
Now everything had to be split attention, games, presents.
Dad, who used to carve out time for her, now spent most of his evenings with Charlie putting him to bed, playing with him, showing him picture books, teaching him new words. Mum, once Lilys best friend, was now consumed with the baby.
One day Dad came home with a bright plastic tractor for Charlie. Lily darted over and cried:
What about me? What did you get for me?
Arthur, caught off guard, forced a nervous smile.
Sorry, Lily, I completely forgot. Well get you something tomorrow, I promise.
From then on Lily never met Dad at the door after work. He seemed to have forgotten her.
Mum, who used to always find a moment for Lily, now spent whole days with Charlie.
Mum, can you help me with maths? I dont get it
Just a sec, she said, trying to get Charlie to brush his teeth. Well finish this and Ill be right with you.
Lily fell asleep before Mum finally got Charlie to bed, then started the washing and prepared tomorrows meals.
When Lily tried to tell Mum about school, Mum, apologising, asked her to wait while she soothed a feverish Charlie, Hes running a temperature, crying all morning his red rash looks bad, we need to call the doctor, and the rest of the conversation slipped away.
Over time Lilys hatred for Charlie peaked. The little boy who was supposed to be just a brother became, in her eyes, a rival for parental love.
Its a relief we dont have to share a room, Lily told her friends as she grew older.
Sure, lucky you, replied Anna.
Whats so good about it?
Not sharing a room! Youve got a threebedroom house, Im crammed with two younger sisters in one room! Whos worse off?
Lets argue about whos worse?
Charlie turned seven, Lily was on the brink of thirteen, and her resentment only grew. When Charlie, now in Year1, asked:
Lily, what are you doing?
Im sleeping!
Want to play?
No.
One afternoon Charlie burst into Lilys room with a waterpistol, a gift Dad had bought him despite the usual ban on toys in the house. He aimed for the curtain just above Lilys head but hit her and her notebook instead.
Dont you dare come into my room! Lily snapped.
It was an accident!
Youre the accident! she shouted.
Charlie tried to threaten, Ill tell Mum.
Go on, tell her, Lily sneered, Lets see what happens. You should stay as quiet as a mouse, you were adopted out of pity! She slammed the door.
That was the moment Charlie learned he was adopted. Hed be told the truth later, when he was ready, but for now he was clueless.
That night, when the parents got home, Lily was punished.
No phones or tablets, Dad declared. A month. No. Six months! And from now on you wont see any gifts from us! How could you say such a thing?
Charlie broke down in tears on the sofa with Mum.
Whats this about? The truth? You brought a stray baby and now youve forgotten your own daughter!
For the first time, Arthur raised his hand at Lily.
In the morning he tried to talk, even apologise, but Lily ignored him, grabbed her shoes and jacket and ran off to school.
Victoria clanged a fork against a plate.
Bravo, she said to her husband, Topnotch performance. Now youve got no daughter at all.
Dont be ridiculous. Well talk this over tonight shell forgive us.
She wont. Its not just that you hit her, its how weve treated her I try to talk to her, but its not enough. And she never loved Charlie. By saving him, we lost her
Do you want to change your mind?
I dont know! Victoria shouted. Im attached to Charlie hes a wonderful boy, but I still feel he isnt my child.
Good mother you are! Arthur snorted. Five years raising a son and not loving him!
I warned you this was too much, but I twisted everything to keep Charlie in a normal family and it never worked! Bon appétit.
Their marriage grew tense, not just now but for years.
Victoria sensed something off. Charlie, growing to look more like Arthur each year, raised more questions. How could that be? He was an adopted child.
Mum, whom Victoria consulted on everything, smiled reassuringly.
Sweetheart, it happens, she said, Adopted children often start to resemble their adoptive parents. Its common, nothing to worry about.
I know, but Charlie looks exactly like him.
Exactly, nothing surprising.
He even walks like him, has his mannerisms!
Hes copying the parent, thats normal.
Victoria could not shake the doubt. She began to suspect Arthur had once been involved with Charlies mother, a friend who had died tragically. Arthur had grieved heavily back then. Friends are friends, but there was something she hadnt wanted to see.
One day Victoria, gathering courage, ordered a DNA test.
The results came quickly and confirmed her worst fear: Charlie was Arthurs biological son.
She collected Lily from school and drove to her mothers house, not wanting to face Arthur. She wondered if he was even still her husband after all this. It turned out Arthur and Vera had been having an affair behind her back. First Leon (Arthurs friend) raised a strangers son, and now Victoria.
Her elderly mother, struggling with the news, said, Victoria, dont tear things apart immediately. Think of the family, the children. You have two kids now. Charlie is your son now. What will you tell him? Will you say sorry and walk away?
Ill still see Charlie, Victoria replied.
And Lily?
Victorias heart ached, but Lily didnt seem upset about the split from her father and brother.
Forgive Arthur, Lily said quietly. When did this happen?
Mum, he gave me a child
Who knows who raises whose kids?
If hed told us earlier maybe Id have forgiven him, but now its too late.
Lily had been eavesdropping. No one knows what the future holds, but childhood for all of them was definitely over.
