Uninvited guests had overrun the house.
Cant these lovely people live somewhere else? asked Julia, her tone edged with exasperation. There are plenty of hotels about!
Theyre not here just to make us uncomfortable, replied Paul, trying to keep the peace. Theyve run into difficulties. Once its sorted, theyll be off.
And as soon as one leaves, two more take their place! And yesterday I heard that, apparently, theres a Peter Grahamnever heard of himwhos been living here for two years already!
How long is this meant to go on? Julia cried. I cant fathom it!
Whats all this noise about? Paul called out, still lounging beneath the duvet.
Julia jabbed a finger towards the window. That racket! The rugby match is kicking off!
Brilliant! Paul stretched lazily.
Are you kidding? Julia snapped the curtains closed. Dont tell me youre thinking of joining in!
No, no, Im perfectly fine right here, he grinned. Might do you some good toorelax for a bit!
She perched at the edge of the bed, sighing. Tell me, what sane person holds a rugby match outside in December?
Why not? Paul shrugged. No frost, no snow, the grass is dry. Perfect for a quick game.
Theyre going to smash all the windows! Not a professional among them, which means the ball will go wherever it likes!
Well, if they break any, theyll just have to replace them, Paul replied, unfazed.
Julia rolled her eyes, already preparing another retort, when from downstairs came a rowdy call:
Darlings! Breakfast is ready! Ive made fresh crumpets! You can canoodle laterhurry up, while theyre hot!
Paul grinned. Aunt Martha never misses a beat!
Excuse me, but breakfast is meant to be the wifes privilege! Julia sniffed.
You could always make the coffee! Paul laughed.
Darlings! Even the coffee wont wait forever! Aunt Marthas voice rang out again.
There you go! Julia jabbed the air. Next thing you know, Aunt Martha will try to replace me in bed!
Paul grinned wider. Youre irreplaceable, love. Now lets go down before she bursts in here herself!
Julia sighed, resigned, and tugged on her dressing gown.
Oddly enough, no one met them en route to the kitchennot a soul hovered around.
Incredible, Julia grumbled, I thought Id never get a moment alone in our own house!
Surprises happen, said Paul, pouring tea with a smirk, but at least its never dull. Well eat, watch a bit of the rugby, and later Mr. Stevensons promised a barbecue!
Oh goody, more smoke and something else burning! Julia said, stabbing a crumpet. Or is this for the guest cottage?
Paul snorted. Theyve built a new one! Bigger and better than before.
To house even more guests, Julia muttered. I cant remember half their names. They should wear name tags. And indicate relation, so I can make sense of this endless parade!
Wed get tangled anyway, mused Paul, since the connection runs something like: wife of your husbands brother, and after thatwell, heaven knows.
Youd lose your mind before you finished reading it out!
Breakfast, at least, was blissful. Eventually, Julia, mellowed by good food, asked, Paul, how much longer will all this go on?
He knew what she meant, but played for time. What do you mean, love?
These endless guests! Julia said. I know its English tradition to be hospitable, but theres a limit! Yesterday, for fun, I tried to count them all. I lost track somewhere in the twenties! Thats thirty people under one roof who dont even seem to be leaving anytime soon! Thats not what I pictured as married life.
But it is married life! And these peoplewell, theyre almost family now.
Julia snorted. Family by marriage thrice removed! And half of them arent even related to your side, but to your brothers wife!
If you dig into it, theyve probably got official names for this type of kinship. I just dont know them, Paul replied. But, theyre a good lot.
Cant your good lot stay somewhere else? Havent they heard of inns?
Theyve come because they needed help, not to take over our home. When theyve sorted things, theyll be off.
And then two more arrive to take their place. Did you know Peter Graham works in the village shop now? And Aunt Marthawhose crumpets were eatingcleans three houses on the row, like some sort of housekeeper!
Paul smiled. At least theyre getting on all right.
If this keeps up, Im heading back to London! Julia declared. My flats still there. Much rather live there with youjust usthan here in this madhouse!
***
Truth be told, Julia had always known life with Paul would be a gamble. He was ten years older, and at twenty-five she herself was no ingénue. At their first meeting, suspicion had flickered in her mind.
Why hadnt Paul married before? Was there something wrong with him?
But of course, anyone could question why she was still single at twenty-five. Whats her flaw then?
Julia knew her own reasons well enough. Shed trained as an architect, but found one diploma wasnt enough. She wanted a solid reputation, to be self-sufficientso she could pick her own partner, not just settle because she had to.
So she worked first for the council, then moved to the private sectormore interesting, and much better pay, but less stability. She found herself working with clients who could be quirky, to put it mildly. Little time left for romantic entanglements.
Pauls early years were similarif messier. His brother Andrew had founded a modest company just after university and married young. To balance family and work, Andrew promptly enlisted Pauldumping the lions share of the company on his just-demobbed brother. So while working full time, Paul had to earn his degree on the side.
He powered through, but his personal life took a back seat. Some weeks he didnt even go homeespecially after Andrew had a son.
One day Paul confronted his brother: Andrew, when are you going to start pulling your weight?
Andrew, sheepish, told him hed lost his taste for business. I want to work with my hands, come home each evening to my familyits all I care about now.
Will that pay the bills? Paul asked.
Were planning to move to the Lake District, Andrew said, pulling out papers. Ive signed the company and all the assets over to youyoure better at it anyway. Just send a bit back my way now and then.
From then, Pauls life only became busier.
By age thirty-five, though, hed found his groove, and finally started to think about settling down.
There was a warmth between Julia and Paul the moment they met. The red flags were discussed, then discarded. Six monthsno need to dawdleand they married.
They lived in Julias flat to start with.
I do love you, but its handier for me, Julia admitted, blushing. Five minutes walk to work, and mornings are hard enough as it is.
No bother at all, Paul assured her. Never bought my own place, always rented. Id rather let you choose, love.
To be honest, Id always dreamed of living out in the countryside, Julia said. Though Im not sure Id be allowed to work remotely.
Tell them its either remote or you join the competition. Or start your own companywed give them a run for their money. Paul grinned.
Ill try my luck, Julia replied.
I actually own a place in the country, Paul blurted out, a bit sheepish.
Andrews only request before moving north had been: Paul, if any of Natashas lot turn up needing a place to stay for a bit, take them injust dont let them take advantage.
Where am I supposed to put them? Hotels? Paul had replied, wide-eyed.
Oh, by the way, I bought a house last year, never moved in. Its yours now too, Andrew said, waving goodbye as he left with his family.
There may be a few of Natashas relatives living there, but its a huge place, and theres a guest house too. I doubt well get in each others way.
Julia hadnt realised what a few meant until she arrived. She was met by a veritable crowd, all beaming, bustling, and keen to help with everything.
A month living there brought her a hundred sad tales: divorces, abusive husbands, disinherited children, lost homes to conmen. Renovations, studies, or simply nowhere else to go.
A professor, abandoned by his student-mistress then refused by his wife, was waiting for the sale of his flat. There were visitors of all ages and professionseven the odd academic. The mood was friendly, if hectic.
Julia tried to work, but one client was impossibledemand after demand. Mr. Edwards, passing by, overheard a complaint, nudged her aside, and addressed the webcam bluntly:
If I may say so, sir, your comments smack of utter ignorance. The young ladys got it exactly righttake my word, after thirty-six years as an architect. Live in it and youll be grateful. But if you insist, and it all keels over, dont come crying to us.
The client relented. As Julia shut her laptop, she looked up at Mr. Edwards. How do you know all this?
Spent thirty-six years at it, love, he said. Come by for advice any time.
His help was invaluable, but the crowd and constant commotion wore on Juliacountry life in Pauls home was nothing like she had imagined.
It was absolute bedlam.
***
Darling, we can always move back to London, Paul said quietly, if thats truly what you want. But perhaps you dont realise everything about our guests.
Whats to realise? Julia asked, frowning.
You were complaining about the burnt guest house. But theres a new one now, and do you know what it cost us?
Julia ventured, Quite a bit, I expect
Nothing, Paul declared, forming a large O with his fingers. They paid for it themselves, even did all the building!
Julia stared.
They cover all the billsheating, food, repairs, the lot. They cook, clean, fix things that break. In truth, were living here on their expense! They even work and find side jobs nearby. And the help and advice from all sortsfrom accountants to electriciansyou cant put a price on that!
And even the professor, Julia added, glad now for Mr. Edwards tips.
My business profits have doubled since I started listening to their advice, Paul went on. Almost worth putting them on staff!
And the best part? he laughed. They want nothing in return. They just live here with us like one big, odd family.
Just then, a rugby ball crashed through the window, scattering shards. Toby skidded in after it.
Jacks heading for the glaziers now! No worries, well have it sorted in two hoursand sorry! Grabbing the ball, Toby dashed out again.
Thats the way of it, Paul chuckled.
Julia looked around, bewildered but no longer angry. Perhaps Ill get used to it.
And a month later, Julia felt itthese werent guests. They were simply the branches and roots of a new, bustling family tree.
