The house is absolutely full of uninvited guests.
Can these lovely people not live somewhere else? Charlotte asks, raising an eyebrow at her husband. Surely they could stay at one of the many hotels?
They havent just shown up to make our lives difficult, George replies. Theyve all had some trouble, and while they sort things out, they stop here, then head off again.
And as soon as one leaves, another takes their place! And did you know, I heard yesterday that some chap named Henry Gordonno idea who that ishes been living here for two years now!
Charlotte exclaims, How long can this possibly go on? Its simply unfathomable!
George, stretching lazily in bed, asks, Whats all the commotion down there?
There! Charlotte points out the window energetically. Theyre starting a volleyball match outside!
Well, thats rather fun, George yawns.
Are you serious? Charlotte yanks the curtains shut. Dont tell me youre thinking of joining in!
No, Ill stay in bed, thanks, he laughs. You should do the same!
Charlotte sits on the bed, sighing, Tell me, what sort of person organises an outdoor volleyball tournament in early December? Who even does that?
George simply shrugs. Weve hardly had a frost, and theres not a flake of snow. Its dry enoughmay as well have a kickabout.
Theyll smash every window they can find, Charlotte retorts, None of them are professionals, so the ball is bound to fly everywhere.
George only stretches again: If they break one, well just have it mended.
Charlotte shakes her head, unconvinced. She means to add more, but from the kitchen downstairs comes a shout:
Darlings! Breakfast is on! Ive made cottage cheese pancakes! Cuddle up lateryoud best hurry while its hot!
Auntie Margaret at her best, George grins.
Breakfast is supposed to be a wifes job, huffs Charlotte.
You could always make some coffee! George laughs.
Darlings! The coffees going cold too! Auntie Margaret calls up again.
See! Charlotte gestures at the door, Next, Auntie Margaret will be jumping into bed in my place.
Dont exaggerate, George chuckles, Youve got a permanent spot next to me! But come on, we should eat before it all gets cold.
Charlotte rolls her eyes, wraps a dressing gown around herself, and follows him out.
No one else is stirring as they make their way to the kitchen.
How strange, Charlotte mutters, Id begun to think we might never have a quiet moment in our own home!
You see? George chuckles. Surprises all around! Well have breakfast, catch a glimpse of the volleyball, and later on, Tom Harrington promised a barbecue.
Yes, more smoke and burning things, Charlotte grumbles, serving herself pancakes.
You mean the guest house? George laughs. We just built a new one! Better than the original, three times the size.
Thats just to squeeze in more guests! Charlotte is clearly unimpressed. I cant keep track of half their names.
Maybe we should issue name tags, she groans, And add their relation to us, for goodness sake!
Even so, wed get muddled, George chimes in, Youd end up with someone whos your husbands brothers wifes second cousin, or somethingheaven knows where it ends!
Charlotte calculates, By the time you finish reading the tag, youd have lost your mind.
Their conversation stops as the pancakes are simply heavenly. Later, in a far sunnier mood, Charlotte asks:
George, how long is all this going to last?
What, the endless guests? George answers with a knowing look.
Yes, exactly! I understand being hospitable but this is absurd! I tried counting yesterdayI lost track at twenty-three! Thirty people in our home, and none of them have plans to leave! I didnt picture marriage like this at all.
But this is family life, isnt it? And really, most of them are sort of family anyway! says George.
Yes, a sort of family after three marriages, two divorces and a distant cousin on your brothers wifes side! Charlotte groans. Even your brother, from whom we inherited this, isnt related to half of them. Theyre his wifes relatives!
Well, if you dig deep enough, there must be a term for all these connections. I just dont know them, George shrugs. But theyre nice people!
They couldnt have sorted themselves out somewhere else? With so many hotels about? presses Charlotte.
They didnt turn up just to be a botherthe poor souls all have their troubles. Once they solve them, off theyll go.
And new ones will roll in straight away! And that Henry Gordon has worked as an accountant in the village shop for two years now! And Auntie Margaret, who made us those pancakes, is now cleaning three neighbours houses, like some kind of housekeeper.
At least theyre getting by, George says with a wry smile.
Well, if this keeps up, Im going back to the city! My old flats still waiting. Better just the two of us in there than living with a crowd here!
***
Truth be told, Charlotte had taken a leap of faith moving in with George. He was ten years her senior, and shed already turned twenty-five when they met no longer a girl herself.
Naturally, the question arose: Why hasnt George married before? Whats wrong with him? Though she herself could have been asked the same: Why is Charlotte single at twenty-five?
But Charlotte had her reasons. Shed trained as an architect, but that degree didnt pay the bills. She wanted not just experience, but a name for herselfa shot at independence, so she could pick her life partner on her terms.
She started in local government, then moved into the private sector, joining a firm with steady contracts. It was more interesting, paid much better, but the clients could be a handful. Still, that was work for you.
Serious relationships just hadnt featured with that kind of career.
Turns out, George had a similar storyif not livelier. Georges brother, David, set up a company just after leaving universityand married soon after. Needing to spend more time at home, he roped George in to help, which meant most of the work landed with George just after his national service.
So George juggled university and running the company, somehow managing it all. Romance rarely got a look inand by the time Davids son was born, George hardly ever went home.
One day, George confronted his brother, Dave, are you even going to work today?
Ive fallen out of love with all this business malarkey, David admitted sheepishly, I want to work with my hands. Have a proper shift, go home to the wife and lad in the evening!
And will that pay the bills? George asked.
Were moving to the Lake District, David waved some papers. Ive signed the company and all the assets over to you! Youre running it brilliantlyget on with it!
Oh, and give me a bank account so I can send you a cut of the profits, George stammered, still reeling.
After that, things brightened up for George. At thirty-five, feeling his life finally settled, he began to think about family.
He and Charlotte took to each other immediatelyafter clarifying there were no red flags, they fell in love and married six months later.
They stayed in Charlottes flat to begin with. I love you, but this is just so much easier. I can walk to work in five minutes! Im hopeless with early mornings, she confessed shyly.
Fine by me, George nodded. Never bothered to buy somewhere myself, just rented. You pickwherever you want. Youre my wife, after all!
I did always dream of moving to the countryside, Charlotte admitted, But Im not sure I could work from homeour lot arent keen on that. Even during lockdown, they dragged us back to the office.
Demand remote working, or say youll go to the competition, George grinned. We could even start our own firm and compete!
Ill talk to them first, Charlotte laughs.
I do have a house outside town, George offers, Though
Davids one request before moving north had been, George, Jesss family might show up asking to stay while they sort out some things. Dont turn them away, but dont let them take liberties either!
Where will I actually put them? George wondered, taken aback.
Oh, and I bought another house last year we never used. You can have that too! With that, David left for the Lakes.
Technically, some relatives of my brothers wife are living there, plus a guesthouse in the garden. Its all so big I doubt well notice each other.
Charlotte had no idea, while moving into Georges country house, quite how many guests thered be. They greeted her as a flockit was staggering.
But everyone beamed at her, keen to help in every way.
After just a month Charlotte had heard every sob story imaginable about how each person ended up heredivorces and family rows, people fleeing dreadful spouses, children throwing their parents out, dodgy builders, and even someone cheated out of their own house. There was a professor, turfed out by his student-turned-partner, who now waited for a flat swap back in town.
Despite the commotion, the house had a friendly buzz.
Charlotte kept working, though a difficult client began nitpicking. One morning Mr Richard Lawson happened to overhear her video call, pushed her out the frame, and spoke straight to the client:
With all due respect, your comments betray a serious lack of understanding!
This young lady has done an excellent jobyoull be happy here! And if you insist on your changes, dont come crying when your house topples over like a card castle.
The client buckled. When Charlotte closed her laptop, she turned to Richard, How do you know all that?
My dear, I was an architect for thirty-six years! he chuckled, Just come to me if you need advice.
As helpful as that was, the constant to-ing and fro-ing could get on anyones nerves. This wasnt what Charlotte imagined country life with George would be like it was chaos.
***
Darling, if this really bothers you, we can always move back to the city, George says gently. But theres something about our guests you might not realise.
What am I missing? Charlotte asks.
You know the guesthouse that burned down? The new one, even bigger, was rebuilt from their own pockets. None of it cost us a thing!
Charlotte stares. What, really?
They pay for all the bills and any repairs. Everything! All the shopping, all the food, even the cleaning; if something breaks, they fix it. Honestly, we live here at their expense!
Some of them work, others do odd jobs. And their adviceits invaluable! Weve got every profession covered: engineers, accountants, lawyers, economists, plumbers, electricians, even a professor of biology.
And an architect, Charlotte remembers, thinking of Mr Lawson.
Hed given her some tips that turned out to be gold dust at work.
My firms profits have doubled since I started asking for their opinions, George grins. We should put them all on the payroll. Funny thing is, none of them ask for anythingthey just live here as one big, odd family.
At that moment, a ball flies through the kitchen window with a crash of glass. In dashes Charlie, Williams already off to town for a new pane! Dont worry, itll be fixed in two hoursbetter than before! So sorry! He grabs the ball and darts off.
See? George beams.
I suppose I could get used to it, Charlotte admits, baffled.
And, after a month, she isnt bothered by the constant bustle. She doesnt even think of them as guests anymoretheyre just family, really, one big, slightly mad, but rather wonderful family.
