My oldest brother paid us a visit not long ago. Hes been living with his wife in the United States for more than ten years and hardly ever comes back to see his parents. This was only his third trip back in that whole period. Jack arrived laden with gifts stylish clothes and a handful of imported gadgets for Mum and Dad and my heart swelled with a mix of pride and guilt.
When Jack left for America in search of his fortune, I stepped in to look after Mum and Dad. Now I realise I should have handled things differently, and Im sorry it took me so long to see it. His arrival brightened Mums spirits instantly. She forgot all her aches and hurried to rustle up treats for her son. Dad was thrilled that his boy and daughterinlaw were under the same roof. While Jack and his wife, Sarah, stayed with us, the house was a whirlwind of activity: Dad tried his hand at playing with the grandkids who were visiting from the States, and Mum baked pies and a roast for Sarah.
For two weeks the whole place buzzed with a festive vibe. Sarah spent her days in the kitchen or glued to the television, sipping tea, never once offering to lend a hand or tidy up after herself. When the couple finally left, Dad slipped an envelope of cash into their hands. Jack laughed, What am I supposed to do with pounds when Im back in America? but he didnt turn the money down.
That night, after the guests had gone, Mums blood pressure spiked again. Sarah had to make her a calming tea and stay by her side the whole evening, looking after her health. Dad asked me to chop some firewood a task hed boasted about handling with a axe just the day before. I watched Sarah juggle the kitchen, caring for Mum, and trying to keep the house in order; it was a frustrating sight.
My life with Mum and Dad is a bit of a balancing act. Sarah and I have been married for almost nine years, and throughout that time weve lived in my parents cottage. Since they retired, theyve stepped back from the chores, leaving the repairs, cleaning and daily upkeep to us. Weve taken on every renovation: new windows, a roof replacement, a fresh fence all paid for out of our own pockets.
Jack hardly ever visits, but when he does the whole family seems to snap back into high gear, full of energy and laughter, as if nothing could touch them. We moved back into the family home to make it easier to help Mum and Dad when they need it. I now see that my decision to stay put was both a blessing and a curse. Weve poured a lot of money and effort into the house, so walking away feels wasteful. Yet Mum and Dad rarely acknowledge the daily grind we endure. They sing Jacks praises to neighbours and friends, while they label us, the ones still living under their roof, as failures. Im at a loss about what to do next.
