Dear Diary,
I’m 45 now, and I’ve stopped opening my front door to visitors. These days, some folk forget that they’re guests when they step inside, behaving as if they own the placegiving orders, lingering long after they’re supposed to leave, and never hurrying home.
I used to pride myself on being a good host, but that changed quickly after I crossed the fortyyear mark. I asked myself why I should bother with that bother. Hosting has become more of a nuisance than a pleasure.
My last birthday I celebrated at The Ivy on StJames’s Street. I loved itI’ll be doing that forever, and here’s why. Throwing a party at home is an expense I cant justify. Even a modest dinner party can set you back a few hundred pounds, and a Christmas bash can be even steeper. Guests arrive with tiny parcels because times are tight, then they stay on until the small hours. Id rather relax than be left with a mountain of dishes to wash and a living room that needs a full sweep.
Now I sit in my flat in Camden, waiting for no one. I clean and cook only when the mood strikes. Back in the day, after a Christmas gathering Id feel drained and downcast. These days, after the holidays, I can slip into a warm bath and hit the sack early without a second thought.
I have plenty of spare time, and I make good use of it. Friends are welcome for a cuppa, and I never fret about running out of biscuits. I speak my mind freely now. When I need a break, I simply point to the door and step out. It may not look polished, but Im not losing sleep over it. My wellbeing comes first.
What’s most striking is that the people who love to pop into other people’s homes rarely invite anyone into theirs. For them, it’s easier to play the host without the hassle of washing up or cooking a proper meal.
Do I still welcome guests? I guess not as I once did. Can I call myself a hospitable sort? Perhaps not in the traditional sense, but I’ve learned that looking after oneself is a kind of hospitality too.
Lesson learned: taking care of my own peace of mind is the most generous thing I can do for myself.
