When I think back to those days, I recall my mother, dear Agnes, tending the potted begonias on the windowsill of our modest cottage in Yorkshire. The air was crisp, and the kettle hissed on the stove as her daughter, Mabel, a woman of about thirtyfive, burst into the room.
Mother, are you alone? Mabel asked, breathless with worry.
Would you mind greeting me properly first, dear? Ask how Im feeling, Agnes replied, shaking her head with a smile.
Oh, hello, Mother. How are you? Im in a terrible stateFather isnt here, Mabel wailed.
I am as fit as the papers say, you know the laws word is my guide. And Father? Hes gone off to seek the Good Lord, Agnes said, chuckling.
Where has he gone? Mabel inquired.
Use your brain, love. Where does a man go on a Sunday? Agnes prompted.
To church, I suppose, Mabel guessed.
I hope its the church, not some womans parlour to talk about God, Agnes laughed, her eyes twinkling. What wind has blown you this way, that youre again not grateful to the Almighty?
Oh Mother, I cant take it any longer. Im leaving Harold! Mabel blurted.
Your Harold isnt the worst husband in the world, you know. Do you think a line will form behind you? Soon enough, youll be snatched up by anyone! Agnes retorted, waving her hands theatrically. Youre a queen of the tearoom, after all.
Why do you cling to him so? Do you think he loves you? Agnes pressed.
And whats bitter about the borscht if he doesnt love me? I simply know my daughter; with such a husband and a golden motherinlaw youll become a witch! Youll drive any man to his wits end! she warned.
Mother, as the saying goes, the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, Mabel said with a sly smile.
And theres always a black sheep in the family, Agnes added, sticking out her tongue and winking. Enough of tearing my poor heartjust tell me what you need.
Mother, think about this: were going to a birthday today and I want to give fifty pounds, and he says, Good heavens!
And whats wrong with that? Why set peoples eyes on fire, as if youre wealthy? Take six modest crystal goblets and be off with them, Agnes suggested.
Judgment, indeed! Who needs goblets now? Everyone has them already! Mabel snapped.
Im no judge, dear. Im a woman of the community. I cant even recall how many years Ive sold tickets to the fair, and always with a profit. If they dont want goblets, theyll sell something elsetheres plenty to do! Agnes replied.
Mabel glared at her mother, fuming. At that moment a man of about forty entered, his boots echoing on the wooden floor.
Why is the door open? Good day, Mother! he called.
Oh, look whos here! Harold, Im delightedwill you be having a bite? I have a marvelous fish, the kind youll gobble up fingerbyfinger. Id have sent Father to bring it for you if you hadnt arrived! Agnes exclaimed.
And for me? Mabel said, hurt, You didnt even offer me anything!
My dear, Im at fault, theres plenty for you as well. I was simply overjoyed to see Harold. I tell the neighbours what a golden soninlaw I havebetter than any son! Listen, Harold, come here. I want you to know Im on your side. Your wife
has driven me mad, but I admit youre right, Harold interjected, smiling sheepishly. Will you eat in the kitchen, or shall I bring it here?
Thanks, Mother. We just had breakfast, Im not hungry, and thank you for the supportmy wife will hear nothing from me unless I stand firm! he said, chuckling.
You know, Harold, she isnt such a bad wife. Shes told me lovely things about you, praised you, and I loved hearing how good you are. I love you as if you were my own child, Agnes said warmly, as Mabel gulped water and choked on her words.
Harold stepped forward and embraced his wife.
Didnt expect that, did you? Thought youd run off to complain he began.
She ran off to ask advice, didnt she? She didnt want to speak, but Ill tell you a secret: Dinah wants to cook you something delicious, though I wont say what. We were like two housewives chatting! And as a gift she mentioned you hadnt decided yet, so I told her you were right.
Mabel listened, eyes wide with amazement, then smiled.
Mother, thank you. Ive taken everything you said to heart. If I forget anything, Ill call you. We must be going now.
No, you wont leave until you fetch the fish for Harold, Agnes declared.
Only for Harold? Youve forgotten about me again? Mabel protested.
Oh, my foolish head, you know hes my first priority, and then you, Agnes replied, smiling apologetically and shrugging.
Harold stood with a pleased grin. Agnes brought a fish wrapped in a striped cloth, placed it in a waterproof bag, and handed it to him.
Here, eat it well, and may you both be satisfied, lest I take offense! she said.
Thank you, Mother. Youre a true friend. Im lucky to have such a motherinlaw, Harold said, taking his wifes arm. Shall we, Dinah?
Yes, Ill catch up, and say goodbye to Mother, Dinah replied.
Harold left, and Mabel leaned close to her mother, whispering, Mother, youre a great actress! The old theatre would weep for you! How could you leave Father without a penny?
My dear child, I never wanted you to weep with both eyes, so Father and I will share the fish another day. Remember, for peace at home you must always play a little part of the actress.
