Tom, enough with the melodrama, let’s sit down and sort this out, Eleanor says, trying to keep her voice steady.
What youre imagining isnt happening, I promise, she adds, insisting that nothing terrible has occurred. Were not fiveyearolds who need to be coddled
The sound of Toms voice from the nursery door makes Eleanor and her tenyearold son, Sam, exchange a glance and shake their heads in unison.
Honestly, I hate how he always twists things so it looks like were overreacting, Tom mutters, his tone slipping into that familiar, slightly reproachful rhythm that once made Eleanor fall for him. She had believed a man could settle any dispute with a bit of diplomacy.
What she didnt realise was that, in Toms mind, diplomacy meant bending every situation to suit his own interests, painting anyone who challenged him as immature or hysterical. She had tolerated those games for the sake of their child, but she would never allow him to treat Sam the same way.
Sams birthday the previous week had shown Tom cared just as little about his own son. Hed often put Eleanors needs aside for his mother and sister, justifying it with the old a mans first duty is to his own family. But neglecting his son was a line even the most patient Eleanor would not cross.
They had planned Sams birthday a month in advance. They booked a table at their favourite bistro that has a lovely playroom, invited three of Sams best friends and their families, decided on a menu and ordered a custom cake. What could possibly go wrong? In the worst case, a friend might fall ill and not turn up an inconvenience, but everyone would understand and no hard feelings would arise. In the worstcasescenario, Sam could get sick, meaning theyd lose the reservation money and perhaps the cake, which they could simply give to the friends to avoid waste. But Sam is robust, and by the morning all the friends called to confirm theyd be there on time.
Only Tom, while the whole family is dressing for the occasion, answers his sisters call and immediately begins changing into nonformal clothes.
What are you thinking youre doing? Eleanors voice carries the familiar accusation that anyone who knows their history would recognise. Toms world is organised around three women in descending order of importance: his mother, his sister, then Eleanor. It isnt the first time Eleanor has watched him spend a weekend helping his mother in the garden or shopping with her. When his mother has nothing for Sam, his sister swoops in, demanding a brothers help with some household chore.
When Eleanor first met Tom, she took his devotion to his relatives as a sign of a good husband. A man who respects his mother will treat his wife well, she thought. It turned out to be a false assumption. While Tom scurries around the city catering to his relatives, the pipes in his own house start leaking, doors creak, and the pile of maleonly chores grows. Eleanor, tired of Toms perpetual promise to do it tomorrow, finally hires tradespeople.
Tom finally breathes a sigh of relief when he realises his relatives are no longer demanding his time. Eleanor has grown accustomed to his absence and even finds a strange comfort in being alone. Lately, Tom complains that she seems colder, as if his occasional presence doesnt matter. Eleanor, accustomed to his gaps, sees no point in trying to be warm when his visits are fleeting. When his phone rings, she watches him duck, muttering, Yes, Mum, Im on my way, and disappears from view. Shed rather knit a scarf or bingewatch a sitcom than engage in marital small talk.
But when Tom decides, on Sams birthday, to dash off to his sisters house, Eleanor cant bear it. He claims his sister needs help moving boxes and that Sams birthday can be celebrated another day. Is the birthday really that important to a tenyearold? she snaps, raising her voice for the first time in years. She gives him a week to understand his mistakes and devise a way to make amends.
Honestly, that week gives her time to reflect and steel herself for what comes next. Divorce feels heavy, almost unacceptable on a subconscious level. If shed been a bit more impulsive, she might have called it off after the first night when Tom spent the entire morning on the phone with his mother because he was bored and lonely.
Sitting on a bench at the train station, Eleanor feels the emptiness that should accompany Toms permanent absence. She doesnt forgive Sams father for the slight. He spends the whole week trying to explain to her and Sam why theyre wrong to be upset, but when the deadline passes, she files for divorce, evicts Tom from the marital home, and hands the flat over to his devoted mother.
For the next eight years, they barely see the former husband and loving father. He pays child support but only turns up for Sams birthday, and even then rarely on the exact day, preferring to wish him later a few weeks after. Sam quickly loses interest, stops waiting for him, and his desire to reconnect fades. When Sam turns eighteen, the father suddenly feels a surge of longing, and a barrage of complaints rises against his exwife.
You could have smoothed things over, explained that a child needs both parents, that a father deserves love even if the visits are rare, Tom launches into a longwinded tirade when they meet outside Eleanors house, trying to corner her with his grievances.
Where do you think I should go? You had eight years to mend things, yet you only widened the gap, Eleanor retorts, her tone no longer the obedient, acquiescent one of old. Shes adapted to real life.
I had other priorities besides parenting, and you know that. I still have my mother and sister, Tom snaps.
Fine, go to them. Let them help you with Sam. Leave me in peace, Eleanor says, slamming the door in his face as he passes the entrance. Shes finally capable of that.
That evening Sam tells his mother, Im over it, Mum.
What do you mean? she asks.
My dad invited me to his place for a belated celebration next week, but I already have a concert with Yulia. You know Yuliaalways flashing those blue hairpins at work.
And what about your dad?
He got upset because I seemed to put Yulia above him. I told him we could celebrate another day, maybe a week or a month later after my exams. He didnt take that well, Sam grins crookedly.
Quite the memory you have, young man, Eleanor replies.
Nothing special, just a good one. And a bit spiteful, where it counts. Mum, I have one question: why did you put up with him until I was ten? You could have divorced sooner and avoided all this.
It was, Eleanor waves it off. Now all the reasons she once clung to seem foolish and contrived.
Back then she wasnt as clearsighted as she is now, years later. It was Toms disregard for their own son that finally jolted her into reassessing the marriage. Otherwise she might still be living with him, his mother and sister, a fourth unwanted element in an already tangled family web. Thankfully, she finally filed for divorce.
