The doorbell screeched unnervingly, announcing visitors. Louise set aside her apron, wiped her hands, and went to answer. Her daughter stood on the threshold with a young man. Louise let them in.
“Hello, Mum,” said her daughter, planting a kiss on her cheek. “This is Dad. Hes going to live with us now.”
“Pleasure,” the young man greeted politely.
“And this is my mum, Auntie Louise.”
“Louise Whitaker,” she corrected.
“Mum, whats for dinner?”
“Mashed peas and bangers.”
“I dont eat mashed peas,” the boy replied, toeing off his shoes and striding into the living room.
“But Mum, Dad wont eat peas,” said the girl, eyes wide with pleading.
The boy flopped onto the sofa and tossed his rucksack onto the floor.
“Thats actually my spot,” Louise remarked.
“Dad, come on, Ill show you where well be staying,” called Lily.
“I like it right here,” he grunted, reluctantly standing.
“Mum, think of something else for Dad to eat.”
“Dunno. Theres half a pack of sausages left,” Louise shrugged.
“Thatll domustard, ketchup, and a bit of bread,” he declared.
“Fine,” Louise sighed, retreating to the kitchen. “First it was stray kittens and pups, now this. And Im expected to feed him too?”
She served herself mashed peas, plated two fried sausages, added a side salad, and ate with quiet relish.
“Mum, why are you eating alone?” her daughter asked, appearing in the doorway.
“Because I just got home from work and Im starving,” Louise said between bites. “Anyone else whos hungry can help themselves. And while were at itwhys Dad moving in?”
“What do you mean? Hes my husband.”
“Your what?!”
“Yeah. Your daughters grown nowshe can marry if she likes. Im nineteen, after all.”
“You didnt even invite me to the wedding.”
“There wasnt one. Just a quick registry office do. Now were man and wife, so were living together,” Lily said, watching her mother chew.
“Congratulations, then. But why skip the wedding?”
“If youve got money for a big do, hand it over. Well put it to good use.”
“Right,” Louise muttered, still eating. “But why here?”
“Because his flats crammed with four people already.”
“So renting wasnt an option?”
“Why bother when Ive got a room here?” Lily frowned.
“Got it.”
“Can you give us something to eat?”
“Lily, the peas are on the hob, sausages in the pan. If thats not enough, theres half a pack in the fridge. Sort yourselves out.”
“Mum, you dont get ityouve got a SON-IN-LAW now,” Lily stressed.
“And? Want me to break into a jig? Lily, Ive just come home from work. Im knackered. Save the fanfare. Youve got handsuse them.”
“No wonder youre still single!” Lily shot her a glare and stormed off, slamming her bedroom door. Louise finished eating, washed up, wiped the table, and changed into her gym gear. Most evenings, she swam or lifted weights.
By ten, she returned, craving teaonly to find the kitchen a wreck. The pot lid had vanished, its contents dried and cracked. Sausage wrappers littered the table beside a hardened crust of bread. The frying pan was scorched, scratched by a fork. Dirty dishes piled in the sink, and something sticky pooled on the floor. The flat reeked of cigarettes.
“New habits. Never used to pull this.”
Louise opened her daughters door. The pair were drinking wine and smoking.
“Lily, clean the kitchen. And buy a new pan tomorrow,” she said, leaving the door ajar.
Lily leapt up, chasing after her.
“Why should we? And where am I supposed to get money for a pan? Im a student, not a wage slave. Care more about dishes than your own flesh and blood?”
“You know the rules: you eat, you clean. You break it, you replace it. Sort yourselves out. And yes, I carethat pan wasnt cheap.”
“You dont want us here,” Lily accused.
“No,” Louise said calmly.
She wasnt in the mood for a rowLily had never acted like this before.
“But part of this place is mine.”
“No, its not. I worked for it. Youre just registered here. Solve your own problems. Stay? Follow the rules.”
“Ive lived by your rules my whole life. Im married nowyou dont get to boss me,” Lily spat. “Besides, youve had your turn. Hand the flat over.”
“You can have the hallway bench. Married? Didnt ask. You stay alone, or he goes. Hes not living here.”
“Keep your stupid flat. Dad, were leaving,” Lily yelled, shoving clothes into a bag.
Five minutes later, the so-called son-in-law lurched into Louises room.
“Chill, Mum. Itll all work out,” he slurred. “We wont bolt at midnight. Play nice, and well keep it down.”
“Your mums at home. Go to her. Take your wife.”
“Yeah, Ill” He raised a fist under her nose.
“Go on, then.”
Louise gripped his wrist, nails digging in.
“Ouch! Let go, you nutter!”
“Mum, stop!” Lily screamed, clawing at her.
Louise shoved her aside, kneed the boy between the legs, then elbowed his throat.
“Ill sue you for this!” he wheezed.
“Hold onIll call the police to speed things up,” Louise replied.
The pair fled the cosy two-bed flat.
“Youre not my mother anymore!” Lily screeched. “Youll never see your grandkids!”
“What a tragedy,” Louise deadpanned. “Freedom at last.”
She inspected her handstwo nails had snapped.
“Nothing but trouble,” she muttered.
After they left, she scrubbed the kitchen, binned the ruined peas and pan, and changed the locks. Three months later, she bumped into Lily at work. Her daughter looked gaunt, hollow-cheeked, miserable.
“Mum, whats for dinner?” she asked.
“Dunno. Havent decided. Fancy something?”
“Chicken and rice,” Lily whispered. “And a bit of salad.”
“Lets get chicken, then,” Louise said. “Youre making the salad.”
