I wished to surprise my husband one day, so I decided to take his lunch to him at work. As I approached the door, I overheard a conversation that left me deeply unsettled.
I am twenty-nine years old. Perhaps I was the most naïve woman in the world, for until recently, I believed my family was perfectly content. How wrong I had been in my choice My husband, it turned out, was a betrayer and a selfish man. Even now, I struggle to believe he could do such a thing to me.
We had known each other for ten years, married for six. His name was Edwardthoughtful, attentive, the sort who provided well for me and our children. We had two: a son and a daughter. With my support, he had managed to establish his own business, which brought in a comfortable income.
I had worked as a sales assistant, and more recently, I had opened my own online clothing shop. Between our daughters nursery hours and our sons naps, I found time to work and earn my own keep.
My weight had always hovered around eight and a half stone. After childbirth, I gained nearly three stone. At first, I hoped caring for two little ones would help me shed the extra pounds, but things were never as simple as they seemed. I made it my goalate properly, exercised, drank plenty of water, cut out bread and pastries. Yet the scale refused to budge, and it weighed on my spirits more than I cared to admit. I grew self-conscious, uneasy in my own skin.
After our second child, I no longer recognised the woman in the mirror. The softness of motherhood had replaced the confidence I once carried. And Edwardhe changed before my very eyes. The kisses and embraces dwindled, let alone anything more intimate. I scarcely remembered the last time we spoke of anything beyond household matters.
I admit, before the children, I had felt surer of myself, more appealing. Now, I avoided my reflection. Our marriage had suffered for it, and so I resolved to mend things. That day, I meant to surprise him. I brought his lunch to the office, but as I reached the door, I heard him speak:
“Dont fret, darling. Ill come by after work. Ive told my wife Im buried in paperworkshe hasnt the faintest idea you exist!”
I did not step inside. I turned and left.
Did he not understand? The weight I carried was from bearing his children. He was no paragon himselfa little soft around the middle, yet he fixated on my flaws.
Had he always thought me a fool?
I couldnt bring myself to tell Edward what Id heard. What should I do? File for divorce but the childrenhow would they fare without their father? Pretend as though nothing happened? I doubted I could bear it.
For now, Ive chosen to tend to myself. Ive joined a gym. First, Ill show him what hes lost. Thenwe shall see.
