Mother knows best.
Lily, I really dont like your boyfriend Mark, declared her mother after meeting the girls suitor.
Listen, Lily, to your mums advice or at least ask why the chosen one displeased her sometimes a person simply doesnt appeal, other times there are worrying signs that a lovestruck girl might miss. The story could have taken a different turn.
But Lily only waved it off, defending herself with what she thought were perfectly reasonable words.
You never like anyone, her mother snapped. Thats why you end up alone, even though you could have married even me as a package.
You think you understand a lot, hissed Mrs. Harper.
And how did you decide I understand nothing? Because Im younger?
Im not blind: I saw men showing interest, seemingly decent. Yet you rejected them all without a second glance.
Without a second glance? her mother said philosophically, then cut the argument short. Thats enough, Lily, lets drop this.
Ive given you my opinion, since you introduced Mark to me. Now decide whether to heed it or decide yourself who deserves you and who doesnt.
Mum, I must remind you Im a bit late to decide. Im pregnant with Marks child. And if thats the case, my baby wont grow up without a father.
Part of Emilys resentment toward her own mother stemmed from the lack of a father figure. In school she had been the only girl without a dad for a valid reason. Two other girls had lost fathers, but that isnt the same as never having one.
Emilys father was present until she was three, then her parents split and he disappeared from her life. He later said that if Lily had given him a son, coparenting might have been possible, but a daughter she would still be raised by her mother, so there was no point in him taking on any responsibility.
Fortunately, the dad still paid child support regularly, but he never showed interest in his daughters fate.
Emily blamed her mother for the missing father, thinking a stepfather could have been brought in. They might have lived well, perhaps. He might not have loved Emily as some of the other girls biological fathers did, but at least a man would have been in the house, and the stigma of a broken familywhat the older classmates called Lilywould have vanished.
She decided that the childs father would be present regardless. Mark wasnt perfect, but he loved Emily and would love the child.
When the paternity test confirmed his fatherhood, he immediately proposed, a proper gentleman, and began dreaming of converting the spare room in his flat into a nursery.
Emily found his behaviour endearing beyond words, and her mothers doubts about Mark could not mar the picture.
Eventually, the mother and Mark didnt force Lily to stay.
What exactly bothered Emilys mother about Mark became clear when the baby turned one. He went to work faithfully, but there was no sign of him helping with little Katie at all.
His mother, Elaine Thompson, kept fanning the flames, constantly bragging how she managed two kids, kept the house tidy, and returned to work almost immediately after giving birth. Yet she lacked the modern gadgets that Emily and Marks flat was loaded with.
She forgot one small detail: both her children were placed in a nursery after a few weeks, cared for by staff while she worked. The role of the happy mother was merely to dash in during breaks to feed the child. After nursery came preschool, then school with aftercare where teachers helped with homework and meals.
Elaines involvement at home boiled down to making breakfast and doing the laundry. By then they even owned a washing machine, albeit not the hightech models of today. She presented this lifestyle as the benchmark to aspire to.
But problems arose early in Katies life: there were no nurseries left in their town. Women with children under three were forced to stay home, handling everything alone, twentyfourseven.
Some were lucky to have supportive husbands or mothers, but Mrs. Harper lived in another city and hadnt retired yet, so Emily had to manage alone with her baby.
She still believed Mark loved them and their family was fineuntil the day, while she was taking a shower, the fire alarm blared throughout the flat.
The alarm had sounded twice earlier that year, both false. Mark seemed unmoved, so she rinsed shampoo from her hair, wrapped a towel around herself, and went to see what was happening.
She found the front door wideopen, smoke pouring in from the stairwell, and Mark nowhere to be seen. She sprinted to the nursery, wrapped Katie in a blanket, and fled.
She managed to climb onto the loft and slip into the neighbouring block. Outside, the first thing she saw was a disoriented Mark clutching his brandnew gaming PC. Around his neck hung a professional video camera hed bought six months earlier, and from his jacket pocket peeked a tablet and a phone.
You idiot she muttered. If it hadnt been for the baby, Lily might have killed that animal outright.
She lunged at him, kicking him in the groin as she swore like a dockworker. What drove her over the edge was that instead of apologising or trying to explain, Mark began accusing Emily of being hysterical, claiming he had just acted as he knew, had forgotten his wife and childsomething anyone could do.
His priorities were clear: his reflexes snapped to protect his prized computer, not his wife or child. Naturally, Emily divorced Mark after that. For the next six months, his mother kept trying to reunite them, urging them not to break the family.
Fortunately, Lilys own mother took her and the baby back in.
Mum, you were right; I shouldnt have gotten involved with Mark. You saw how he could abandon me in a crisis.
Dear, remember when we met at the flat and the neighbours terrier started barking?
Archie? He barks at everyone, his owner Tony never lets him off the leash. The little dog is harmless, just startled
Right, so when the terrier got frightened, Mark bolted away, leaving you unprotected. He didnt even try to pull you by the hand to safety.
You were already carrying his child, and he knew that. Loving husbands and fathers shouldnt act like that.
Emily used to say, you could think you know a lot about loving husbands, but after living through it, she simply fell silent. She realised, fortunately not too late, that a mans presence alone doesnt guarantee a healthy home.
Sometimes its easier to raise a child alone than stay with someone just for appearances.
She vowed not to repeat that mistake. And if Katie someday starts questioning her mother, Lily will have an answer.
How to explain why a girl grows up without a father? Perhaps shell tell the plain truth: her dad, in an emergency, ran to save his laptop, phone, tablet, and camera, not her or Emily.
Will he be cared for by technology in old age, or will he finally knock on his daughters door for help? Likely not, and Katie wont forgive him. Emily certainly wouldnt.
True strength comes not from the number of people around you, but from the character of those who never leave.
