My mum pretends to be ill so she doesnt have to work and lives off us.
Shes never had the slightest desire to work. While my dad was alive, she didnt have to worry about ithe took care of everything, brought in the money, and she stayed home, enjoying her role as a housewife. But now, after his passing, she seems to think its up to me and my wife to support her. And we dont agree.
Mum married youngjust 19. My dad, six years older, had already graduated, had a steady job, and earned enough to provide for a family comfortably.
She loved telling their love story like it was a fairytalelove at first sight, that one glance that changed everything, the sudden certainty he was the one.
I believed it until I was 15. Then I realised the truth: my mum never wanted to study or build a career. Marriage was her perfect ticket to an easy life, no responsibilities.
She got pregnant quickly, had me, and declared she wanted to be a full-time mumno nursery, no nanny, no outside help. My dad, protective and proud to provide that life, agreed without question.
I never set foot in nursery, but I wasnt a difficult child. Mum would leave me in a sandpit, and Id entertain myself. Shed give me toys, and Id stay quiet for hours.
She never bothered to learn anything. No qualifications, no skills, not a single days work outside the home. A “professional housewife,” as she proudly called herself.
I never criticised her lifestyle. If my dad accepted it, who was I to judge?
But when he died, everything fell apart for her. She didnt arrange the funeral, didnt handle the paperworkjust lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, repeating, “What am I going to do? How will I survive?”
At first, I thought she was truly grieving. But slowly, I understoodit wasnt losing Dad that crushed her, but losing her financial comfort.
Dad left her some savings, but it was obvious that money wouldnt last forever.
Six months after his death, she had a “brilliant idea”: sell our three-bed flat and buy two smaller onesone for her and one for me. But she wanted mine rented out so she could live off the income.
In her mind, it was perfect. In reality, it was a fantasy. The sale money wouldnt cover two places. And even if it couldwhy should I sacrifice my future so she could keep doing nothing?
My wife and I are already paying off a mortgage. We cant afford to fund someone elses life. So I told her straight: “Mum, youre an adult. Its time to work.”
She protested, but reluctantly, she got a job at a corner shop. And thats when the drama started.
Every phone call was a complaint: “Im exhausted! My legs ache! I cant keep doing this!”
Every week, shed cry down the phone, begging for help, saying she couldnt take it.
Then last winter, she had a real accidentslipped on black ice and broke her leg. Two months in a cast, unable to walk. Of course, her employer let her go. And who had to step in?
Us.
We paid her rent, her groceries, her meds. What else could we do?
But once she recovered, she suddenly “discovered” she had other health issues.
High blood pressure. Migraines. Back pain. Dizziness. Any illness you can name, she claimed to have it.
Doctors ran tests. Nothing serious. But she played the part so well we kept giving her money, feeling guilty at the thought of leaving her to fend for herself.
Until I said no.
This month, I hit my limit. I paid her bills, gave her £800, and said, “Thats the last time. From now on, youre on your own.”
She burst into tears, called me a disgrace, accused me of abandoning her.
But honestly? I dont care. Shes perfectly healthy. If she wont work, she can find a rich man to take care of her. At 55, shes still got the looks for it.
So tell meam I being too harsh? Or have I finally done the right thing?
