When I stepped out of the bath, where Id stood under the shower for at least ten minutes, numb to the heat or the cold, he was already on the sofa, fiddling with his phone. The flat, as usual, looked like a battlefield. I walked past him without a word.
Oh, so youre sulking again? he muttered mockingly, not even looking up. Maybe you could start with the kitchen while the kids are asleep.
I stopped. Everything inside me tremblednot from hurt, but from a strange, fierce resolve. Suddenly, I saw it clearly: if I didnt break this wretched cycle now, Id vanish entirely.
No, I said quietly. I wont start anything today.
He lifted his head and stared at me.
What do you mean, wont?
I wont. I wont clean, I wont wash, I wont cook.
He laughed.
Theres your drama again Get some sleep, itll pass by morning.
But I didnt sleep. In silence, I packed a baga few clothes, my phone, my documents. And I walked out the door. No explanations.
Outside, the air was crisp, the wind sweeping down the street, yet I breathed deeply, as if inhaling properly for the first time. I called my sistershe asked no questions.
Come, she said. Ive got a spare room.
I spent three days with her. Three days without accusations, without must or should. The first day, I slept nearly all of it. By the second, I began to think.
On the fourth day, I went back. Not homejust to the door. Where a weary, guilt-ridden woman had once stood, a different person now entered. I wanted to see his face when he realised what hed lost.
He opened the door and paled.
Where have you been? Youve no idea what Ive been through with the kids! Everything fell on me!
I stepped inside and looked around. The same mess, the unwashed dishes, toys strewn everywhere.
I see, I said calmly. Exactly how it looked when I was doing everything.
He frowned.
Dont start a row. I cant manage alone, theres no time
Twelve-hour shifts, I cut in. Every day. And then more at home. Now do you see what its like?
Silence. Then, softly:
I didnt realise it was this hard.
I sat at the table and pulled out a sheet of paper.
Look, I said. Heres the truth.
He saw the listhours calculated, tasks written down: the cooking, the washing, the children, the housework. Beneath it, his own daily duties. The difference was staggering.
You actually calculated all this? he asked, stunned.
Yes. This is our life. Yours and mine.
For minutes, he just stared at the page. Then he stood and walked to the kitchen. He said nothing, but I heard the water runninghe was washing up.
Dont expect me to get it all at once, he said quietly. But Ill try.
For the first time, his voice was unsure. And I just sat in the armchair, listening to the water, the movements, the house slowly settling.
That evening, the children went to bed early. He sat beside me.
I think Ive been a fool, he said. Forgive me.
I dont want forgiveness, I replied. Just understanding.
He nodded.
I understand.
A few days later, he bought a dishwasher. Then a tumble dryer. But the most important change? He woke earlier to fix the childrens breakfast, and sometimes after work, hed come to meet me so we could walk home together.
It didnt become perfect overnight. There were slip-ups, arguments, exhaustion.
But slowly, he learned that it wasnt the tidiness of the house that mattered, but the people living in it.
Now, half a year on, the flat no longer resembles a battlefield. On weekends, we take the children to the park. Sometimes, he even jokes:
Ill mop today. Or would you rather disappear for another three days?
And I laugh. Because now he knowsI could. But I dont need to.
He learned his lesson. For good.
