“Well, that’s the way it is,” I muttered, spitting onto the damp ground. “I took her to the altar, and now she can’t cook a proper roast nor wash a load without making a mess.” I was perched on a log outside the neighbour’s cottage, eyes trailing sadly over my own thatched house where my young wife used to sleep.
My next-door neighbour, Nicholas, was fiddling with a wrench on his motorbike.
“Listen, Vic,” he said, “you’ve only just celebrated the wedding. Let your wife have a bit of time to recover.”
“What? I don’t want to hear any more about the wedding. She wore me out that day.”
“Wore you out?” Nicholas asked, genuinely puzzled.
I cracked a seed shell and scowled. “She started mocking me the minute I brought the dowry to her doorstep. Half the day she was pushing me around the yard, riddling me with nonsense, forcing me to dance a gypsy jig. My new trousers tore from the strain.”
“The old man gave me those trousers, and I married her in the old church. By the time I reached her bedroom, Id gone through a dozen circles of hell, and she she leapt out the window and fled.”
“The whole village searched for half a day, found her laughing and saying she’d changed her mind. When I trampled her bouquet, she burst into tears, calling me a fool who doesnt understand humour. At the ceremony she put on a show, looking as if Id forced her into marriage. At the banquet she wouldnt even let me touch her, fearing Id dirty her dress. ‘Youre all greasy, Vic,’ she snorted, ‘youve been eating fried fish, your fingers are filthy. My dress is expensive; its not a napkin for you.’ So dont even start on the wedding, Kolya.”
Nicholas set his wrench aside and scratched his head under his cap. “Look, Vic, Ive never seen anything like that. My own sister, Harriet, never caused a scene like yours.”
“All women are supposed to be sensible, but I got a nightmare. Every morning I get up, do all the chores, and she just lies there asleep! She cant even put the kettle on.”
“Does she want a job?” Nicholas asked.
She refuses to look for work, claiming she needs a break after her studies. Her mother and grandmother slip her extra cash for trinkets and hairpins, otherwise shed be a constant nag.
Nicholas frowned, leaned close and said, “You’re in a rotten spot, Vic. Youve got a lazy wife; send her away until she bears a child.”
“I never guessed the Crocket family raised a lazy daughter. They kept bragging about how precious their Lily was. Turns out theyd been fooling us, discarding her like ballast, and Im the fool left holding the sack.”
Life in the village was peaceful: the river murmured, crickets sang in the grass, cows mooed now and then, a hound barked, and roosters crowed at dawn. Tractors and motorbikes rumbled over the dusty lane, buckets clanged.
“Kolya!” shouted Catherine, my neighbours wife, from her cottage window, “Dinners ready; come in.”
“I’m coming,” I replied lazily, leaning against the bike. From my perch I could hear the newlyweds chatter spilling out of their windows.
“Vic, could you peel the potatoes? Ill get the onions,” crooned Lucy, my wifes sweet voice.
“Why am I the one peeling? Thats a womans job,” Nicholas muttered to me, “Im already chopping the chicken.”
“Ha,” Nicholas chuckled, “Theyre only making soup, and mines already on the table!”
“Im busy,” Lucy sang back, “Im taking the curlers out of my hair.”
“Oh, youll have to wait for me, love!”
“I want to look pretty, not like a drab housewife. When I style my hair like that, I feel like a movie star. Everyone says I look like a classic film actress.”
I rolled my eyes and peered into the neighbours windows. “Whats she answering to?”
I tossed my bike aside and slipped quietly into the yard, looking through the curtains. There she was, my young wife twirling in the middle of the room, her hair piled high in a big wave. Nicholas searched for me, and I was standing by the table, head bowed over a bowl.
Nicholas ate his soup without appetite, glanced at his satisfied wife, and sighed. “Can you imagine, Catherine, how theyve been treating Vic?”
“What happened?” she asked.
“He married Lily Crocket, who just moved here from the city.”
“I remember. She was supposed to be a teacher, but never finished her training.”
“Shes a bit of a ditz, always dreaming about dancing and dressup. Vics a fool for marrying her without a word of warning. He could’ve taken your sister, Mabel, whos still single and reliable.”
Catherine turned her round, flourdusted face away. She didnt want to speak of her younger sister, Mandy, who was plump and clumsyjust like Catherine herself once was. Both sisters had grown a bit rounder with the years.
Later, a loud record player blared in the neighbours house, and a womans laughter filled the air. Nicholas raised an eyebrow and went to the windows to listen. He shook his head.
“Vic, whats going on in your house? The whole village can hear the racket. Is it your wife?
“Shes not a child anymore; shes married, a future mother. You need to discipline her, kick out that noisy friend, and throw the tape player out the window. My women have no friends, just sit knitting socks.”
Vic looked downcast and glared at me. “You can go tell your mother what to do. Ill sort my own mess.”
The next day the rain fell nonstop. The sky stayed grey, and Catherine stayed in the kitchen making jam while I drifted around the house.
“Bored, love?” she asked.
“Go collect mushrooms. Put on your raincoat; fresh ones pop up after a shower,” she suggested.
“Dont want to go alone,” I said.
“Invite Vic then.”
I sighed. “Hell probably be miffed with me.”
I looked out the window and saw Vic trudging toward my house, a sack in his hand.
“Hey neighbour,” he said, pushing the door open with a creak.
“Kolya, Ive brought some smoked trout I cured myself. Want a bite?” I offered.
“Sounds grand. Lets have tea,” he replied, smiling.
We sat in silence for a while. Finally, I asked, “Hows married life? Did your wife go away?”
“She left.”
Nicholas crumpled a newspaper and went back to his work. “Whats your wife up to now? Lily?”
“She went to the shop.”
“What did she buy? A bag of dumplings and lipstick?” I laughed. “My wife, Kate, saw yours at the till, ordering cosmetics. Wheres the bread for the family, Kate?”
Catherine, standing by the stove, fell silent, her shoulders drooping.
“Let her buy what she likes,” Vic muttered, eyes on the floor.
“Why?”
“We decided our women should be friends. Kate will teach your wife to keep the house tidy and cook properly, instead of fussing over makeup.”
“Lucy, we need to talk,” Vic said.
“Whats up, my dear?” his wife turned, her eyes shining with perfume.
Shed dyed her thick russet hair white, got false lashes, and emphasized her brows.
“Do you like it?” she cooed.
“Sure, you look like a different woman. You were pretty, now youre a knockout.”
“Its Tanya, my friend, who fixed me up at the salon.”
Lucy, now smiling, said, “Why not? Ill go over.”
Lucy spritzed herself with perfume, slipped into a fancy dress, and left the house, returning later looking solemn. She changed into a nightgown, washed her face, and tied her gorgeous hair into a bun.
“Vic,” she said, sitting on the edge of the sofa where I was resting, “youve been complaining to the neighbours about me, havent you?”
“Me?”
“Youve been hearing all sorts about me If youre unhappy, just say so! Why complain to strangers, Vic?”
She dropped her face into her hands and wept. From that day she changed drastically: stopped staring at herself in the mirror, began scrubbing the house, baking pies, and visiting neighbours with a gloomy air, her smile and laughter gone. The music in Vics cottage fell silent.
Then she vanished. I woke early to find her bed empty, the house empty, only a note on the door:
“Vic, Ive thought it over Im a bad wife. Youre always nagging, complaining to the neighbours about how hard it is with me. I cant take it any longer. Lets part. Dont look for me; you wont find me. Goodbye.”
“How could she?” I muttered, halfshouting. “Lucy, my Lucy!”
Nicholas was the first to rush over, trying to console me. “She ran off, let her run. Shes a free spirit, not meant for village life. Probably moved to the town; its livelier there. I told you shed be a bad wife, and I was right. Dont worry, Vic, well find you a proper, hardworking wife.”
Just then, Kate, Nicholass own wife, burst in with her plump sister Mandy, both lugging pots.
“Mandy, whats she to you? A wife?” Nicholas joked, but Vic turned his face away, irritated.
Later, Nicholas stared out his window at Vics house. “Whys she not staying home? Ive got no one to go fishing with. Kate!”
“What are you shouting about?” Kate called from the kitchen, her voice sour.
Lately, the tension between Nicholas and Kate had grown; after Lucys runaway, Kates mood shifted too, and it started to bother Nicholas.
“Kate, whats this? Youre acting as if you cant live without me, dumping all the housework on me, leaving me no breath.”
“Whats wrong with you?” Nicholas asked, worried.
“Im not a horse, Kol. I want perfume and lipstick, to look at myself in a mirror, to go shopping in the town, try on dresses…”
“Ah, I see where the wind is blowing. Its Lucys influence.”
“Its not Lucys fault,” Kate sighed. “I cant see a future with you, Kol. Im stuck in the kitchen, the yard, the cattle When was the last time I danced? At the school prom with you. Oh, Kol”
Vic came back to the village, eager to finish the repairs on his cottagehammering windows and doors. Nicholas heard the hammer and rushed over.
“What are you doing, Vic?”
I paused at the gate, eyes wide. “Im moving, neighbour.”
“Where to?”
“Im heading to the town centre. Theres a club, a café, somewhere to take a wife.”
“What wife? Lucy ran off.”
“I found her”
I turned to Nicholas and grinned. “I found my Lucy. She got a job in the town centre, rented a little flat. Im off to join her.”
Nicholas was flabbergasted. “Youve lost your mind, Vic! You trusted a reckless woman! How will you live with someone so daft? You said youd married for your own sake, tired of her whims Youll come back penniless, without a wife! Dont be foolishlisten to me. Forget those silly thoughts and take my sister, Mandy, as your wife. Shell cook borscht, bake pies, wash shirts.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Happiness isnt in pies, Kol. Its in a beloved woman. Well eat readymade meals if we must, but shell be by my side. I was wrong before, but now I see the truth.”
Nicholas shouted, trying to make me reconsider, but I only laughed and walked away.
“Stupid fool,” Nicholas muttered, shaking his head. “Married a foolish woman and became the same. What a pair.”
Nicholas returned home, sighing. On his doorstep, his wife Kate sat on the porch, suitcase in her lap.
“What are you doing here?” Nicholas asked, bewildered.
“Its me, Kol. Ive had enough. Im leaving you.”
“Where to?” he stammered.
Kate sobbed, dropping her head onto her chest. “I cant see a life with you, Kol. Im off to the town centre to find work! Im tired of toiling for you! I want the freedom Lucy got”
I watched as Nicholas gently lifted her suitcase and embraced her trembling form.
“She should have said so,” he whispered.
He sighed. “She should have just said she was tired, maybe even slammed the table. If only Id listened, Kate”
The old stereotypes in Nicholass mind began to crack.
