More aid only if she leaves that good-for-nothing: I told my daughter to become independent.
Until she divorces, she wont receive a single cent from us, I said, refusing to help her until she parts ways with that parasite.
Our house trembles daily, not from fights between my husband and me, but because of my soninlaw. The man my daughter married is utterly lazy and irresponsible. He hasnt held a steady job for over a year, surviving on occasional odd jobs while spending the rest of his time doing nothing. My daughter bears the entire familys burden, raising two toddlers while on parental leave. And him? He simply exists.
Of course my daughter cant work fulltimetwins need constant attention. I offered help, but with a strict condition: I will not give a single penny until she ends her marriage with that leech. Assisting her now would only be feeding his indolence, and Im done financing someones laziness.
From the start, I never liked Antoine. I hoped shed see the truth, that shed wake up. But, alas, they married. Youth, love, fantasieseverything clouded her judgment. Now we have to live with the fallout.
My husband and I gave them Grandmas apartment. It used to be rented out, providing our only supplemental retirement income. The young couple couldnt afford the rent, so we handed it over, asking only for minor renovations to make it comfortable for the children.
Thats when Antoine revealed his true nature:
I wont handle that. Im not a handyman; Im an intellectual. Let the paid professionals do it.
With what money, I asked? He hadnt even earned enough to buy a screwdriver. All he does is philosophize and complain about his bad luck. Working evenings? Impossible. Weekends? I need rest. Hes clearly gotten used to expecting everything on a silver platter.
When I bluntly called him a loafer, he took offense. Youre being unfair to me. And my daughter? Instead of supporting me, she blamed me:
Because of you were arguing again. Why are you meddling?
I decided to distance myself, warning her plainly: if she chose this situation, she must own it. Dont come asking for help later. When I learned she was pregnant with twins, my heart broke. I thought Antoine might finally step up, but nothing changed. Everything fell back on us. We finished the repairs, sourced baby cribs, even accompanied my daughter to the doctor. He? Still slumped on the couch, glued to his computer.
Camille did her best, yet it was clear she was beginning to see the man shed married. Together we cobbled the apartment together, everything done by hand. Later he bought a few discounted gadgetsnot an excuse. When you have a family depending on you, you must act like a man. He? Just a tenant in a house where everyone else does the work.
We eventually discovered how they managed to scrape by: a hidden creditcard theyd opened without saying a word. Then the call came:
Mom, we cant make it work. Help us
I was furious.
Camille, you have children with a man who cant even change a lightbulb! How did you expect to handle everything alone?
Were just going through a rough patch
What patch? You have a roof over your head, parents who shoulder everything. And him? He cant even find a jobeither the pay is too low, the location too far, or the hours dont suit him!
Mom, you dont get it Hes looking! He just wont work for peanuts!
We survive on peanuts! You, your kids, and himall at our expense!
I had enough. I refused to be a cash cow. I told her:
Until you divorce, forget our door. No more money. If you want to stay with him, accept the consequences.
She burst into tears.
You want my children to grow up without a father?
And I finally said what Id been thinking for a long time:
Better a fatherless upbringing than one under a man who lives off others.
I am a mother, but I wont be a victim. I want my daughter to raise her children with a real partner, not a dead weight. I want her to respect herself, not to demand assistance while he sips tea on the couch. She hung up in silence, but I know someday shell understand.
