Listen, mate your fatherinlaw said it straight to Tom, We took you into the family, we treat you like one of our own, and you keep turning us down on the little things? Not right, son. Youve got to respect your wifes folks. What if you need a hand from us someday?
—
Emily was born when her mum was barely nineteen. Being a teen mum knocked the young parents plans right out of the window, so they left little Emily with her gran. While the parents went off to study, Gran became Emilys rock, the most reliable person she ever knew.
Emilys parents got married after she was born, but the real family routine didnt click until she turned six. Thats when they moved to a new town from Leeds to a suburb of Manchester and enrolled her in primary school.
The new household was a mess from the start. Her dad, who had a decent job at a city office, showed zero interest in either his wife or his daughter. He was off all the time, getting into affairs and nights out. Mum disappeared into her shift at the factory until the early hours. Emily was left to fend for herself, spending days roaming the streets. Irregular, cold meals left her with chronic gastritis. When it flared up, her mother would ferry her between hospitals a routine that turned into a constant lever of control.
There were no personal boundaries in that house, no right to have an opinion. Any wish Emily had was smothered instantly. If she tried to stand up for herself it always ended in a shouting match and a barrage of accusations. Mum would openly call her an ungrateful brat.
I’m doing everything for you, and you cant even muster a thankyou! Only God knows how many tears youve caused me, shed snap, Get out of my sight!
Things blew up over a seemingly trivial fight when Emily, now a teenager, refused to pose for a family photo session with guests. Mum erupted:
Shameless! How dare you embarrass me in front of people? Change your clothes right now, now!
Mom, I dont want to be in the picture, Emily protested, Im tired, I need to sleep, Ive got an early start tomorrow.
Mum lunged at her with fists, Dad stepped in to pull them apart, then told Emily flatout that theyd have liked another child but just couldnt have one.
If I could, Id kick you out this very second! he snarled, Too bad we cant have any other kids. If there was even one chance, Id hand you over to a childrens home!
—
Emily wasnt allowed to say no. Mum kept telling her she was useless and ungrateful. When Emily turned sixteen and a foster girl, Lucy, joined the family, Mum finally softened a touch which only added a fresh, heavier layer of stress for Emily.
Honestly, youre still our golden girl, Mum sighed, watching Lucy throw plates around in a tantrum because she couldnt get a laptop like everyone else. Youve never been a problem. Weve spoken to your dad, hes agreed to take you in so thats settled.
No one knew that at school Emily was being beaten and locked in cupboards. She was despised, bullied by the whole lot, and she never complained she saw no point. Whats the use if nobody steps up for you?
Emily chose law as a career, exactly where her parents nudged her, hoping it would earn their approval. That didnt work either they started griping that she still hadnt found her place.
Why are you studying law? Dad snorted, Nothings waiting for you but a factory floor. Youre talentless! You might as well get a job somewhere else.
Emily kept her mouth shut, enduring it, dreaming of the day she could cut the strings her parents had tied around her. She was exhausted.
—
When Emily got married, her parents staged a prewedding drama, accusing her of selfishness, of ruining their plans, and of stealing money from them. She had, in fact, borrowed a modest sum because she wanted to chip in for the big day. Meanwhile, Mum kept loading Emily with extra chores, dumping her own problems on her.
How many hours have we spent on you, Emily? Mum would say when Emily tried to say no to another favour.
I get it, Mum, but Tom and I are trying to get on our feet, we have our own stuff, Emily replied gently, We just dont have time for all this.
What stuff? Your concerns are ours too! Your husband should understand that, Dad chimed in, Isnt it a lot to ask? Pick up the groceries, take them to the restaurant, look after the little one while were at the wedding.
Dad, Tom works late, hes got an important meeting tomorrow, Emily tried to argue.
A meeting? More important than family? Have you forgotten how hard we worked to raise you? Your illnesses, your terrible temperament! Mums voice rose.
Mum, my health issues came about while you were busy with work and other things. I dont recall you ever really raising me, Emily said, bitterness seeping through.
Ungrateful! You have no idea what being a parent means! If it werent for us youd be out on the streets, living off your gran! she shouted.
Mom, Im grateful, but Im not obligated to spend my whole life on you! All we ask is a little personal space, Emily sighed.
Personal space? You just got married and youre already thinking about yourself! We gave you a roof, we raised you! And now you dare turn us down? Dad insisted.
Your house isnt my concern, Emily retorted, hinting that the flat she and Tom were paying off together was a mortgage theyd both been handling.
If youre so independent, why cant you land a decent job, why are you always flirting with shady deals? And why havent you paid us back for your education? Dad threw a lowblow, We put you through school. Show some gratitude!
Emily finally turned to her dad:
Dad, can you just stop backing her up in this nonsense?
Emily, dont start, Dad said calmly but firmly, Mums right. Were only asking for a little. And your husband should know his place. Nothing will happen to him if he gives us a lift. Were family, after all.
Tom isnt your taxi driver! Emilys voice cracked with hysteria.
Whats gotten into you? How dare you raise your voice at your father? Mum stepped forward.
Tom, whod been silent up to then, snapped:
Thats enough! Stop shouting at her! I married your daughter, Im responsible for her. Im not your servant!
Who do you think you are, telling us what to do? Dad roared, You took my girl, we took you into the family, and out of gratitude you owe us help!
I love Emily, I want her happy. Since the wedding youve given us no peace, Tom said firmly, Either we start living our own lives, or shell have no contact with you at all!
Emily looked at Tom, then at her parents.
You cant betray us, Emily, Mum hissed, Youre our daughter! Weve done so much for you
I remember, Mum, Emily whispered, clenching her fists, I remember everything the humiliation, the beatings. I remember you saying you wanted another child. I remember
Ungrateful! Mums voice rang.
No, Mum. Im an adult now with my own family. Toms right well live our own lives. You can stop calling us until you learn to respect our choices.
The first few days of this socalled freedom were tense. The parents called nonstop, threatened, tried to blackmail with silence, but Emily and Tom held firm. Emily also decided to give her dad the only chance hed have to keep bothering her she planned to pay back the money hed demanded for her tuition. They scrimped on everything to clear the debt as fast as possible.
The hardest part was dealing with Emilys own breakdowns. Fighting for the right to live her life meant confronting years of psychological pressure. But Tom was her rock, her anchor.
Well get through this, love. We will, I promise.
And they did. It took them about a year to settle with Emilys parents, who had handed them a bill of £500,000 even though the actual tuition was half that. Once the money was paid, Emily cut off contact. Her parents didnt rush to reconcile they were still sore about their ungrateful daughter.
