James tells me hes bored of me, and suddenly Im bored of him.
Almost two years ago I hear a line from my husband that Ill never be able to forget. He says, You live so predictably Im bored of you. Even though James thinks our life is dull, Im happy with it. Each morning I get up early, have tea and toast, do my exercises and dress for work. The first thing I do is get James ready for his early commute, then I finish getting ready myself. All our meals are cooked at home; I pack a secondbreakfast for both of us in reusable containers. On the way back each evening I stop at the corner shop, then I cook, clean and do the laundry. Before bed we watch a film and then go to sleep.
Im convinced Im right. Everything is perfect: James is wellgroomed and fed, the house is tidy and comfortable. What more could I want? Every Saturday I give the whole house a deep clean, bake something delicious and prepare a big lunch. In the evenings we either invite friends over or head out into town. On Sundays we visit our parents, splitting the day between my mums and my fatherinlaws. We help with chores, chat and enjoy the time with our relatives.
At night we relax at home. We never argue or raise our voices. Our home feels calm and harmonious. But one day James declares that hes bored of me. He spends a few hours telling me hes unhappy, citing friends who party all night, travel abroad and have a blast while we never even quarrel. That afternoon he simply walks out.
Im still pleased with how weve lived and I dont want anything to change. Yet, for James sake Im ready to try anything, even a makeover. I start by clearing out my wardrobe. With the cash wed been saving for a new house, I splurge on a bunch of new clothes, chop my hair short and dye it a bold shade. I decide I wont look boring any longer. Then I land a new job not a desk job, but a role organising events. The gig opens up a world of original entertainment.
A week later James returns, stunned by the new me. I promise him well live a completely different life, and we do. Soon were rarely at home, constantly on the move, meeting interesting people. Every night we end up in a club, a restaurant, a pub, a house party, or a friends flat. We go camping, cycle through the countryside, paddle a kayak, and pop off for weekend trips to Manchester, Bath or the Lake District.
Months into this nonstop lifestyle, James starts craving quiet, calm evenings at home. He says he misses homecooked meals and my baking. I have no time left to stand at the stove. Ive changed so much that he no longer misses my company.
A week later James tells me he cant sustain such an active pace. He wants to return to the old, cosy days, spend evenings at home, drive to his parents on weekends and eat fresh, homemade food instead of reheated takeaway.
But Ive grown to love my independent adult life and Im not keen to give it up. Ive adapted to responsibilities and now I have no desire to revert. The current way of living suits me perfectly. I still like parts of my old routine, but I wouldnt switch back.
When James demands everything go back to how it was, a real blowup erupts. Dishes shatter, neighbours hear the shouting and call the police. James packs his things and heads to his mothers, apparently hoping Ill revert to the old version of myself. That would be too much. Were not movie characters who can change on a whim. James eventually comes back home to find divorce papers on the kitchen table and a note that says Im bored of him and cant live together any longer.
