My motherinlaw took offense when we declined to take her son, a student, into our home.
My husband and I have been together for eleven years. After years of borrowing, we finally managed to pay off our tworoom flat. We raise our eightyearold son, and everything seemed to be going smoothlyuntil my motherinlaw came up with another brilliant idea that once again disturbed our peace.
My husband has a younger brother, Théo, who is seventeen. To be honest, we have never been close to him. The age gap means my husband barely sees him, and it annoys him to watch his parents coddle their youngest, spoiling him and excusing any misbehavior.
Théo is a terrible student, teetering on the brink of being expelled from high school. Yet each poor grade is met with a new tablet, the latest sneakers, and other gifts. My husband constantly says, If I got a zero, Id have to stay up all night studying; he just gets presents!
I side with him completely. We have often seen Théo refuse to heat his own food, even in front of everyone. He stays seated until his parents have prepared, served, and cleared the meal for him. Afterward he says nothingno thank you, no goodbyejust gets up and retreats to his room. He cant locate his socks, cant make tea, mixes all his belongings; everything depends on his parents. My husband has tried many times to warn his mother, Youre raising an incompetent! but she simply shrugs, He isnt like you. He needs more affection.
Arguments, grudges, weeks of silencethose were the usual outcomes of such talks. We did our best to stay out of the mess. Then, one day, Théo abruptly decided to enroll at the university in our city, and things got complicated.
Without a hint of embarrassment, my motherinlaw suggested that Théo move in with us. She claimed he couldnt secure a university dormno registration, rent too high, and he wouldnt manage on his own. Youre a family! You have a tworoom flat; theres room for everyone! she insisted confidently.
I tried to explain calmly: one bedroom holds our bed, the other our childs. Where, excuse me, could we fit another adult? My motherinlaw then offered a bright solution: Well put an extra bed in our grandsons room, so theyll share! After all, two boys, theyll become friends.
At that point my husband lost his temper. He cut in:
Im not a nanny, Mom! You want to dump your baby on us? No! Hes your sontake care of him! I lived on my own at seventeen and survived!
My motherinlaw turned red, burst into tears, called us heartless, and slammed the door. That same evening my fatherinlaw called to scold us:
This isnt family! Youre abandoning your brother!
My husband stood his ground. He said he would visit Théo if his parents found him a place, but living with us was out of the question. Enough of treating him like a helpless infant. He needs to grow up.
Hes only seventeen! his father protested.
I was seventeen when I moved out on my own and made it work. No one took me under their wing my husband retorted before hanging up.
After that, my motherinlaw called repeatedly; my husband didnt answer. Then a text arrived: You can cross out the inheritance. Honestly, if that inheritance means taking responsibility for a spoiled brat, well pass. We already have what we earnedthrough work, our family, and our peace of mind.
Everyone must live with the consequences of their choices. If someone chose the path of excessive indulgence and waste, they must now bear the fallout. We owe nothing to anyone.
Life teaches us that safeguarding our boundaries and inner calm is sometimes the only way to protect what we have built.
