A Hurried Farewell: A Goodbye from the Car and the Return Home
He stepped out of the car and tenderly bid his mistress goodbye before driving home. Arriving at the house, he lingered outside for a moment, steeling himself to confess everything to his wife. Taking a deep breath, he climbed the stairs and unlocked the door.
“Hello,” called Edward. “Are you home, Beatrice?”
“I am,” came his wifes indifferent reply. “Hello. Should I start frying the steaks?”
Edward had sworn to himself he would act decisivelywith the confidence and resolve befitting a man! It was time to end his double life before his lovers kisses lost their warmth, before he was swallowed again by the drudgery of routine.
“Beatrice,” Edward cleared his throat, “Ive come to tell you we need to separate.”
Beatrice received the news with unsettling calm. She had always been unshakable, which was why Edward had affectionately nicknamed her “Frosty Bea.”
“Really?” she asked from the kitchen doorway. “So youd rather I didnt fry the steaks, then?”
“Whatever you prefer,” Edward said. “Fry them if you want, dont if you dont. Im leaving. Theres someone else.”
Most wives would have thrown something at him by now. But Beatrice wasnt like most.
“Ah, you and your nonsense,” she replied. “Did you pick up my boots from the cobbler?”
“No,” Edward hesitated. “If it matters, I can fetch them right now!”
“Oh, Edward,” Beatrice murmured. “Send a fool to fetch boots, and youll get the old ones back.”
Edward bristled. This wasnt going as planned. Where was the emotion? But what had he expected from a woman called Frosty Bea?
“Beatrice, are you even listening?” he snapped. “Im leaving. Im moving in with another woman, and all you care about are boots!”
“Right,” she said. “Unlike me, you can come and go as you please. Your boots arent at the cobbler. Youve got nothing keeping you here.”
They had been married a long time, yet Edward still couldnt tell if she was serious or mocking him. Back then, hed fallen for Beatrice because of her quiet grace, her knack for avoiding conflict, her brevity. That, and her domestic skillsand yes, her beauty had sealed the deal.
Beatrice was steady, loyal, and cold as an anchor. But now, Edward loved another. A wild, forbidden, intoxicating passion! It was time to lay his cards on the table and leave.
“Beatrice, Im grateful for everything, but Im going. I love another womannot you.”
“What a shock!” Beatrice scoffed. “You dont love me. What else is new? My mother fancied the neighbour, my father loved dominoes and whiskey. So what? Look how I turned out.”
Edward knew arguing with her was futile. Every word she spoke had weight. His earlier resolve crumbledhe didnt want a fight.
“Youre wonderful, Beatrice,” he said wearily. “But I love someone elsedesperately. Im leaving. Do you understand?”
“Someone else?” she asked. “Is it Elizabeth Harper?”
Edward flinched. A year ago, hed had a fling with Elizabethbut hed thought it was a secret!
“How did you?” he began, then stopped. “Never mind. Its not her.”
Beatrice yawned.
“Then is it Sophie Adams? Youd move in with her?”
A chill ran down Edwards spine. Hed also had an affair with Sophiebut that was over. If Beatrice knew, why hadnt she said anything? Of courseshe was made of stone. Nothing made her flinch.
“No, not Sophie or Elizabeth. Its someone else, the woman of my dreams. I cant live without her, and Im going. Dont try to stop me!”
“Then it must be Sonia,” muttered Beatrice. “Oh, Edward what a poorly kept secret. Your dream woman is Sonia Whitmore. Thirty-five, one child, two miscarriages Am I right?”
Edward clutched his head. Shed nailed it! He *was* seeing Sonia Whitmore.
“But how did you know?” he stammered. “Did someone tell you? Were you following me?”
“Simple, Edward,” Beatrice replied. “Im a gynaecologist. Ive examined nearly every woman in this town, while youve only managed a few. I only needed to see the signs to catch you out.”
Edward straightened himself.
“Fine, suppose youre right! Even if it is Sonia, nothing changes. Im going with her.”
“Youre a fool, Edward,” said Beatrice. “You couldve at least asked me first! Theres nothing special about Soniajust the same as the others, and I say that as a doctor. Have you seen your muses medical records?”
“N-no,” Edward admitted.
“Well then! Go take a shower. Tomorrow, Ill speak to Dr. Oliverhell see you at the clinic without delay,” Beatrice said. “Then well talk. Honestly, a doctors husband ought to know how to pick a healthy mistress!”
“What should I do?” Edward asked, defeated.
“Ill fry the steaks,” said Beatrice. “You go wash up and do whatever you like. If youre after the perfect woman, let me knowI can recommend a few.”
