**Diary Entry The Aunts Visit, the Wife in Tears**
I was jolted awake by the doorbell. On the other side of the bed, my wife stirred. I brushed my hand lightly over her shoulder.
“Love, go back to sleepIll get it,” I murmured, shuffling to the door. “Who on earth could it be at this hour?”
When I opened the door, there stood Aunt Agatha, gripping a bulky suitcase. Behind her, Uncle Albert shifted awkwardly from foot to foot.
“My dear nephew!” Aunt Agatha trilled. “Arent you happy to see me? Come, give your old aunt a proper hug!” She yanked me into a smothering embrace.
“Peace is over,” I thought grimly, hauling her luggage down the hall.
The rest of the night was chaos. Aunt Agatha refused the sofa, deeming it “utterly dreadful,” then suggested I might tuck her in instead. My wife, Emily, gaped in silence. Barely an hour in, Aunt Agatha had turned the flat upside down. Eventually, we all retiredshe and Uncle Albert took our bed, while Emily and I squeezed onto the lumpy sofa.
“How long do you think theyll stay?” Emily whispered the next morning, sliding toast onto my plate.
“Ill ask when Im back from work,” I muttered.
She listened anxiously to the snoring from the bedroom, then said, “Robert, they frighten me. Cant you come home early?”
“Ill try,” I promised, escaping out the door.
When I returned that evening, the table was set for a feast.
“Come in, dear boy, were celebrating!” Aunt Agatha crowed from the kitchen.
Emilys quiet voice trembled. “Im so glad youre home.”
We sat down, and I ventured, “Auntie, how longs your visit?”
“Already trying to shove us out?” she huffed, glaring at Uncle Albert. “Listen, if were not welcome”
“Aunt Agatha, what? Stay as long as you like!” I said, baffled.
“Oh, we *will*permanently. Sold our flat, you see. Youre all the family weve got left. You wouldnt toss your dear aunt into the streets, would you? Surely you can endure us a little longer?” She dabbed a theatrical tear.
My jaw dropped. Emily burst into tears and fled.
An awkward silence fell. Uncle Albert calmly chewed his salad.
“Why must you always sit there like a lump?” Aunt Agatha snapped at him. “Eating like a horse. Cant you *speak*?”
“Quite right, my dear,” he mumbled.
“Youre hopeless!” she shrieked. “Its always me making the decisions while you just nod along. What sort of man are you?” She turned to me. “Arent you lucky, nephew?”
“Stay as long as you need!” I blurted, just as Emilys sobs echoed from the hallway.
I picked at my plate while Uncle Albert ate with such force I swore I heard his jaw creak.
When Aunt Agatha finally pushed her plate away, she sighed. “Oh, Robert, I was only teasing. Were here for a hospital check-upthree days at most. You handled that beautifully! Scared stiff, but you didnt show it. Family always comes first, doesnt it?” She patted my hand. “When Im gone, youll inherit my flat. Weve no children, you see. Youre our only heir.”
Relief washed over me. “May you live a hundred years, Auntie!”
Those three days transformed Emily into a weeping mess. Nothing pleased Aunt Agathathe soup was bland, the chops tough, the laundry done wrong, the floors filthy.
As they left, Aunt Agatha whispered, however loudly, “However did you marry such a crybaby? Is she pregnant? She never stops blubbering!”
The moment the door shut, Emily danced with joy. “Maybe theyll *never* come back!”
“I wouldnt count on it,” I sighed. “I think she rather liked it here.”
“I cant bear it!” she groaned.
Thenthe doorbell again.
“Bloody hell, not *now*!” I jumped up, then laughed. “Oh. Just the alarm.”
A new day awaited, blissfully quiet.
**Lesson learned: Relatives are like bad weatherunavoidable, but at least they pass.**
