A horrible surprise came out of nowhere. My little four-year-old sister, Daisy, had an umbilical hernia. The doctors said we couldnt delaythe sooner the surgery, the better. But Daisy refused to go to the hospital without Dad. We waited till he got back from his lorry route, and he walked her right up to the operating room.
“Daddy, will you wait here for me?” she sobbed.
“Where else would I go, love? Of course Ill wait. Why are you crying? Youre my brave girl, arent you?”
“Im not crying! Im just breathing loudly!”
And off she went. A simple planned procedure. But the hospital insisted Mum and Dad donate blood beforehandno exceptions.
“Shouldnt you test us first?” Dad asked. “Only one of us will match, surely. No point taking extra.”
“Theres no such thing as extra blood,” the doctor said firmly.
So they both gave blood. Mum went pale, like she might faint any second. She couldnt sit still afterwardkept darting off to talk to the nurses. Eventually, Daisy was wheeled out, and Dad went to meet her, just like hed promised. He stayed with her all weekend. Mum finally relaxed, checked on her, then dragged me home, even though I protested.
“I could stay with her too,” I insisted.
I was eleven by then. Daisy, my little blonde sister, meant more to me than anyone. Maybe even more than Mum and Dad. How could you not love her? A proper little angel.
Now, picture a small town with its own hospitaldecently equipped, even had a blood bank. But still, just a small town. Three days after the op, Daisy was home, and Dad was prepping for another lorry run. He popped out for cigarettes but came back looking like a storm cloud.
“Daddy!” Daisy wailed from her room (she was still on bed rest). “Did you get my marshmallows?”
Dad left the shopping bag in the hall, told me to go sit with her, then took Mum by the elbow into the kitchen.
“John John, whats wrong?”
What followed was a conversation I didnt understand until years later. Daisy was too young, and I obeyed Dad without question. She whined for him and her sweets, so I offered to read to her. Thank God, she agreed.
In the kitchen, John got right in Mums face, eyes wild, backing her against the wall. Nowhere to run.
“Is it true? Daisys not mine?”
“WhathowJohn, have you lost your mind? How could you say that?”
“Let me spell it out. Im A-positive, youre O-positive. And her?” He jerked his head toward the door. “AB-negative. If they messed up, we can re-test.”
Mum shoved past him, slumped at the table, and dropped her head into her hands.
“Bastards. I *told* them not to Theyre jealous, John. Weve got everythingeven perfect kids.”
“Told them, huh? Right.”
He walked out, leaving Mum in tears. One mistake, just onceout of boredom, with some engineer on a work trip. Dad was always on the road. Being a lorry driver sounds romantic in films, but reality? Lonely and cold. She figured he probably wasnt faithful either, gone for days at a time. She jumped up to chase him, but he was already gone. Just a box of marshmallows left on the table.
After his next trip, Dad sat me down. Asked me to leave with him.
“Dad, what about Daisy? Mum? Cant you stay?”
It felt like a boulder dropped on me. Rocks are made of layersId seen videos. The weight on my shoulders wasnt solid either. Fear of losing Dad. Fear of choosing. Either way, Id lose someone. I did the mathsDaisy plus Mum outweighed Dad. Though honestly, just Daisy mightve tipped the scales.
Dad met up with me often after that. Acted like Daisy didnt exist. I didnt get it, but if he couldve explained, he wouldve. At first, Daisy moped and criedit hurt to watch. Then she stopped asking about him, retreating into her toys. I didnt know why she was being punished, but I could guess. As for Mum?
Mum lost it. Started dragging junk home from the dump. Harmless stuff at first, then just everything. She didnt care about us anymore, just muttered over her trash piles. How a young, pretty woman could turn into *that* in a year and a halfI didnt understand. But I never told Dad. Our neighbour, Auntie Mary, helped with me and sometimes Daisy. I managed food with Dads child support, but the stench in our flat? Kids at school mocked me, but I avoided fights.
“Auntie Mary, can you teach me to iron?” I knocked on her door.
“Tommy, love, you need to wash things first” She wrinkled her nose.
“Pointless. I tried. But Im seeing Dad tomorrow, and I cant look like this”
“Waithe doesnt know? About your mum?”
“I wont tell him. He left. Its not his problem!”
She let me in, then sighed. “Bring Daisy too. Ill sort you both. And bring your clotheschange here from now on.”
So we did. At least I didnt reek at school anymore. But Auntie Mary didnt stop there. She went to Dad and shamed him. He met me after school.
“Why didnt you tell me?”
“What difference would it make? Would you have come back?”
“No. But you could live with me.”
“And Daisy?”
Silence. I shook my head and turned toward home.
“Wait! Daisy could stay with your nan.”
“Nans got a new bloke. Shes not bothered with us.”
“Right. Takes after her mum, then” Dad cut himself off.
He did try talking to Nan.
“John, youre mad! Why would I want kids? Im living my best life.”
“But Daisys your granddaughter!”
“Shame.”
“*What?*”
“Shame motherhoods obvious, but fatherhood isnt. If I had a son with kidswho knows if theyre really mine? But Daisy? Definitely mine. Still, Ive got my own life.”
“Yeah. Shouldve taken a closer look at you before marrying Linda.”
One morning, Mum was gone. All her junk remainedshed at least kept mine and Daisys room cleanbut shed vanished. I cracked the window, letting icy air cut the stench. Fed Daisy, nibbled something myself, then took her to Auntie Mary.
“Mums not back. Ive got school.”
“*What?* Its freezing! Whered she go?”
My reckless, broken mum ended up dead on a landfill. Why she froze instead of coming homeno one knew. Auntie Mary said social services would take us now. And they came. A woman eyed our flat, then turned to Mary.
“Could we handle the paperwork at yours?”
“Sure, come in,” Mary said.
“Hold up.” Dads voice echoed up the stairs. “Sorry, just got back. These are *my* kids.”
“And the flats yours?” the woman scoffed.
Dad didnt even glance inside. “Pack your things, Tommy. Were leaving. Well sort this place later.”
“What about Daisy?” My voice trembled.
“Obviously. Daisy, love, grab your stuff too.”
Daisy peeled herself off the wall and shuffled toward him.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
“Is it really you?”
He scooped her up, hugging her tight.
“Its me. Im here. Its alright.”
“Dont leave again, Daddy!” she wailed.
I froze. Now shed ruin itsocial services would take us despite Dad being alive. But the woman had lost interest, gossiping with Mary instead. And Dad? Tears rolled down his face as he held Daisy. Hed tried so hard to resent her, to stay away, but love won. Love for ushis kids.
“I wont. Im not leaving you again.” His voice broke.
