**Diary Entry A Glimpse of Fear in an Unknown Gaze**
*”What the hell are you doing in my laptop?”* Alex snapped, towering over Emily. She had never seen him like this before
Emily had just come home from school and already caught the heavy stench of alcohol in the hallway. From the living room came the sound of loud snoring. Her father was drunk again. She walked straight past, heading for the kitchen.
Her mother stood at the sink, peeling potatoes. Hearing footsteps, she turned. Emilys sharp eyes immediately caught the red, swollen cheek.
*”Mum, we need to leave him. How much longer can we take this? Hell kill you one day,”* Emily said, her voice trembling with anger.
*”And go where? Whod want us? We cant afford rent. Dont worry, lovehe wont kill me. Hes a coward. Only dares to raise his fists at me.”*
The next morning, Emily woke to strange noises. She crept into the kitchen and saw her father at the stove, his head tilted back as he drank straight from the kettle. She watched, hypnotised, as his Adams apple bobbed up and down. The water gurgled down his throat like a clogged drain. *”Choke. Please, God, let him choke,”* she thought bitterly.
But he didnt. He set the kettle down with a satisfied sigh, gave her a bleary-eyed stare, then shuffled past her to the bathroom.
Emily wrinkled her nose, remembering her mother would likely refill the kettle without washing it first. She scrubbed it furiously, vowing never to drink from it without cleaning it properly again.
That winter, Emily went on a school trip to Manchester. When she returned, her mother was in hospital.
*Did he hit you?* Emily demanded, seeing the bandages around her mothers head.
*No, lovejust slipped on the ice.*
But Emily knew she was lying.
Years of blows to the head had left her mother with high blood pressure. Six months later, she suffered a stroke and died. At the funeral, her father wept drunken tearssometimes mourning his *”beloved Margaret,”* other times cursing her for the same thing.
He told Emily she was just like her mother and threatened to kill her if she ever tried to leave. Emily counted the days until she finished college. She skipped graduation, collected her diploma in secret, and packed her bags while her father was at work.
He gave her money for food, and Emily saved every spare penny. Sometimes, she even took a few extra from his wallet while he slept. It wasnt much, but enough to get by. Shed long decided to work and study part-time.
She wasnt afraid hed come looking for her. The whole neighbourhood knew his habitsno one would help him track her down. She moved to London, rented a cheap flat on the outskirts, and got a job at a fast-food chain. They helped her get a food hygiene certificate and gave her free meals.
When they found out she was studying accounting, they put her on the till.
Boys tried to flirt. *”Theyre all sweet and gentle at first,”* her mother used to say, *”then they start drinking or cheating. I dont know which is worse. Dont fall for their pretty words, love. Your father didnt drink when we met. We were in love. What happened?”*
Emily remembered those words and ignored their advances. Shed seen where that road led.
On payday, her mother used to stock up on essentialspasta, sugar, tinned foodto last weeks. Her father drank his wages, but there was always food, even if it was plain. Now, Emily did the same.
One evening, she struggled home with a heavy bag when a boy, eyes glued to his phone, bumped into her.
*”Sorry,”* he said, looking up.
Emily wanted to snap, but his warm smile disarmed her.
*”Salright, I wasnt looking either,”* she murmured.
He offered to help carry the bag. Hesitant, she handed it over. Anyone with a smile like that couldnt be bad. His name was Alex. He walked her home but stopped at the corner when she wouldnt let him near the door.
The next day, he *”happened”* to visit her work. They started seeing each other.
Alex admitted he was divorced, with a little girl he adored. Hed left the flat to his ex and was crashing at a mates. *”We got married youngstupid, really. We had nothing in common. Sometimes, we went days without speaking.”*
He talked often about his daughter, and Emily thought maybe she could trust a man who loved his child. After a month, Alex suggested moving in together.
*”Lets get a nicer place, closer to town. Easier to manage together.”*
Emily agreed, dizzy with hope. A normal family at last. They rented a spacious flat, toasted their fresh start. She didnt dream of weddingsbut Alex did. *Two kids,* he said, *a boy and a girl.* And she believed him.
He paid two months rent upfront. By the third, with an apologetic shrug, he said money was tight. Emily covered it, then the next. Then came the drinking. The shouting. The laptop incident.
Now, as she locked the door behind her for the last time, she whispered a promise to the son waiting in the neonatal unit: *”Well be okay, love. Well be far away from all this.”*
**Lesson:** Some cages are invisible until youre trapped inside again.
