I never loved my wife, and I told her so more than once. It wasnt her faultwe got on well enough. She never made a fuss, never nagged mealways kind, always thoughtful. But the problem remained: there was no love.
Every morning, I woke up dreaming of leaving. I longed to meet a woman I could truly adore. But I never imagined how fate would turn everything upside down.
With Emily, life was comfortable. Not only did she keep the house running like clockwork, but she was stunning, too. My mates were green with envy, baffled at how a bloke like me had landed such a catch.
Honestly, so was I. What had I done to deserve her affection? Im just an ordinary chap, nothing special. And yet, she loved me. How?
Her devotion gnawed at me. Worse still was the thought that if I left, someone else would step into my shoessomeone richer, handsomer, more successful. The idea of her with another man drove me spare. She was *mine*, even if I didnt love her. Possession, it seemed, trumped reason. But could anyone spend a lifetime with someone they didnt love? I thought I could. I was wrong.
“Tomorrow, Ill tell her,” I decided before bed. Over breakfast, I mustered my courage.
“Emily, sit down. We need to talk.”
“Of course, darling. Whats on your mind?”
“Imagine we divorce. I leave, we live separately…”
Emily laughed. “What a funny idea! Is this a game?”
“Hear me out. Im serious.”
“Alright, Im imagining. What next?”
“Be honestwould you find someone else if I left?”
“James, whats got into you? Why would you leave?”
“Because I dont love you. I never have.”
“What? Youre joking, surely? I dont understand.”
“I want to go, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else… it eats at me.”
Emily paused, then replied calmly, “I wont find anyone better, so dont worry. Go aheadI wont be with anyone else.”
“You promise?”
“Absolutely,” Emily said.
“Wait… where would I even go?”
“Dont you have anywhere?”
“No. Weve always been together. I suppose Id have to stay nearby,” I said glumly.
“Dont fret,” Emily replied. “After the divorce, well swap the flat for two smaller ones.”
“Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why would you?”
“Because I love you. When you love someone, you dont hold them against their will.”
A few months later, we divorced. Soon after, I discovered Emily hadnt kept her promise. Shed found another man, and as for the flats shed inherited from her granwell, shed never planned to share. I was left with nothing.
How am I meant to trust women now? Your guess is as good as mine.
So, what do you make of Jamess behaviour?
